Bermuda Love Triangle Gone Wrong

President Obama is man of few skills. But there is one skill in which he truly excels. . . angering the British. He’s done it again.

As you may recall, there are currently 17 Uyghurs residing at Guantanamo Bay. . . that is to say, there were.

Earlier this month, the United States obtained the agreement of the president of Palau, Mr. Johnson Toibiong, to take thirteen of these gentlemen off our hands for the minor sum of $200 million. Why he could not take all seventeen is not known. Perhaps the Palau Hilton was full? Perhaps Palauan President Toibiong didn’t like the fruit basket? We don’t know. But we do know that this left Team Obama with the little problem of four unwanted Uyghurs.

The brain trust charged with handling this delicate situation are named Greg Craig and Daniel Fried, two senior level Obama advisors who have been assigned the task of dispersing the inmate at Gitmo, giving new meaning to the barman’s call: “You don’t have to go home. . . but you can’t stay here.”

So what did Team Obama come up with? No, they didn’t just drive them to a rest stop in Cuba and shove them out the door. They flew them to Bermuda, and set them free.

Now, don’t think for a moment that they did this without the permission of Bermuda’s Premier, Ewart Brown. No, they weren’t that crass.

And don’t worry, there was no dirty deal. Bermuda was simply “playing the Good Samaritan in recognition of its 400 year friendship with the United States,” said Brown. The fact that 78% of the island’s income comes from financial services, an industry now owned by Mr. Obama, or that 90% of Bermuda’s tourist industry is dependent on the United States had nothing to with this, or so we are assured.

Nevertheless, Fried and Craig got them quite a good deal. Premier Brown not only agreed to let them settle in Bermuda, but he agreed to let these Uyghurs become naturalized citizens -- a right not even held by many persons born on the island itself.

So why would this upset Britain? Well, there seems to be some vague relationship between Britain and Bermuda. Indeed, Bermuda is considered a British Overseas Territory. Thus, Bermuda’s head of state is the Queen of England, and all matters related to foreign policy and/or security, which includes immigration, fall under the purview of the Governor of Bermuda, Sir Richard Gozney.

And here’s the kicker. . . Team Obama never told anyone in the British Government they were doing this until it happened. Read that again.

This is a major diplomatic slight, equivalent to Britain negotiating a secret treaty with the Mayor of Kansas City. Naturally, the British are quite upset. Whitehall officials are privately accusing Team Obama of treating Britain “with barely disguised contempt.” Said one senior British official:

"The Americans were fully aware of the foreign-policy understanding we have with Bermuda and they deliberately chose to ignore it. This is not the kind of behavior one expects from an ally."

Moreover, the British now face a very real problem. Remember that promise of citizenship? That will give these Uyghurs the right to travel to the UK and to apply for British citizenship. Thus, while they can still be denied entry to the United States, they cannot be denied entry to the United Kingdom. Take that you dirty Brits.

But wait, there’s more. After the British became upset, Team Obama lied about informing the British. Indeed, Team Obama trotted out zombified-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton to claim that she discussed the transfer with British Foreign Secretary David Miliband in what she described as “an uneasy conversation.” Really? “Guess what we’re about to do to you!” I wonder how that conversation ended?

Britain, however, denies this, as does Bermuda Governor Gozney who stated, “We were only told this morning.”

United States official, speaking off the record, seemed to concede this point with their defense: “We did talk to them before the Uyghurs got on the plane.” As does Premier Ewart Brown, who himself described the talks that led to this as “private and somewhat restricted.”

And like that, the love between America and Britain vanishes without a trace. . . another victim of the Bermuda Love Triangle.