Tuesday, June 30, 2009

It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad World

Some days I just don’t get it. I look at the headlines and I wonder if I am insane. Take a look at these recent headlines. . .

Exhibit A: “Oklahoma City woman trades sex for chips.” Now I’m not exactly sure what this means: did she give someone chips to get sex, or did she receive the chips, or am I reading this entirely wrong and she agreed to give up sex for these chips? In any event, this strikes me as a really bad sign for the value of the dollar. . . or as more proof that you can’t eat just one.


Exhibit B: “Monkey urinates on Zambian president.” Good times in Zambia! According to the article, Zambian President Rupiah Banda, known for his wit, told the monkey, “You have urinated on my jacket.” The monkey declined comment.


Exhibit C: “The Pentagon Approves Creation of Cyber Command.” I understand they're calling it ARCADECOM, which is better than Skynet.


Exhibit D: “Nudism Is A Green Vacation.” There are 1.5 million nudists in France, and they want you “textilists” to join them. They claim that nudism saves laundry costs. But how would they know? They’re French.
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12 comments:

  1. StanHJune 30, 2009 at 12:21 PM

    We are in the Age of Aquarius Andrew, where we all must be in touch with our inner child, lets all get naked an run through the Eden that Barry has made. The monkey seems like the only sensible one, he knows how to treat a politician.

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  2. AndrewPriceJune 30, 2009 at 12:25 PM

    StanH, that is a brilliant observation. It never occurred to me at the time, but the monkey is the only sensible one! LOL!

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  3. Writer XJune 30, 2009 at 1:20 PM

    Is Nudism part of the climate bill? I think it might be a new requirement buried in one of the 3 am amendments. Peace out.

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  4. CrispyRiceJune 30, 2009 at 1:26 PM

    Mmmm... chips...

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  5. pattiJune 30, 2009 at 1:51 PM

    you totally ignored the guy who sprayed his wife with the hose cause she was smoking....allegedly. he claims it was "over=spray".

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  6. AndrewPriceJune 30, 2009 at 2:20 PM

    Writer X, Nude Tuesday's is part of the climate bill. Look for them to begin at work on August 2.

    CrispyRice, I won't lie, chips could are a good thing.

    Patti, I saw that after I posted the article. "Over-spray"? Just like a knife murder is "over-stab".

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  7. LawHawkSFJune 30, 2009 at 2:21 PM

    Andrew: My all-time favorite headline was the 50's London Times banner which read: "Queen appoints Christian as head of the English Church." Of course that headline wouldn't apply to the current Archbishop of Canterbury, who is rumored to be planning to move his seat to Stonehenge.

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  8. AndrewPriceJune 30, 2009 at 11:36 PM

    StlDan, A spike strip! LOL!

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  9. AndrewPriceJune 30, 2009 at 11:37 PM

    Lawhawk, that headline is almost unimaginable.

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  10. Pittsburgh EnigmaJuly 2, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    Here's another one for ya: Grieving [Michael] Jackson Fans 'Commit Suicide'. Can you imagine being so completely devoted to a celebrity that you would take your own life over it?

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  11. AndrewPriceJuly 2, 2009 at 2:02 PM

    I saw that! I would like to say that I can't imagine people would be that messed up, but then they keep proving me wrong.

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  12. MegaTrollSeptember 4, 2009 at 11:05 AM

    I still get a kick out of the French nudists.

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