The Wit and Wisdom of Joey B.

Not too long ago, the people at National Review came out with a list of 689 reasons to vote against Barack Obama. Impressive, to be sure; but there is a Reason No. 690 I feel should be added to the list. That reason is the guy on the left (so to speak), and the idea that he might spend another four (or more?) years hanging around the White House.

Let's face it, Joe Biden is an idiot. Even the late-night shows, as hands-off as they've often been where The One is concerned, have felt free to make fun of his Number Two. Conservatives will long remember such bouts of excrement from Joe as "This is a big f**kin' deal" and "They gonna put y'all back in chains!" and the dignity (or lack thereof) he has brought to the office of Vice President in general. But this has been a particularly bad week for Biden, regardless of ideology. Let's recap.

VPOTUS kicked things off on Tuesday at a campaign office in Florida, where he was asked by a woman whether he would do more to help people like her kid, who is transgendered. Who knows what she had in mind, maybe more restrictive "hate speech" legislation or something. Biden responded by publicly proclaiming that discrimination against the "T" in LGBT is "the civil rights issue of our time." Er, okay. Personally, I could think of a few others that would rank way ahead of it, but good to know the President of the Senate is on top of these things.

But the week was young. Biden followed this up on Wednesday with more idiocy, saying at a campaign rally, "I'm going to give you the whole load today." No doubt many of a vulgar turn of mind were snickering at that statement (I know I was). Then--still in Florida, mind you--he noted the Cleveland Plain Dealer's endorsement of Obama, citing it as one of the major newspapers "in this state." What? What the f**k? Is he trying to channel those corny rock band greetings or something? Has anyone checked to see if he's been jumping off the campaign bus shouting "Hello Cleveland!!!"

Then, outside of Tampa (I guess weird states attract weird politicians), Joe greeted some customers at a restaurant and had the presence of mind to ask one of them, who I assume didn't look lily-white and all, "Are you Indian?" The customer responded that he was an American, to which Biden said, "No, I mean first generation." ????? Now, based on Biden's prior experiences with Indian-Americans, I know he's not trying to be racist or stereotyping or anything with that comment, but come on. However you feel about, say, Sarah Palin, the collective intelligence of Saturday Night Live couldn't have made her out to be this moronic and unaware, and yet here it is on full display. You know, because we didn't want to risk putting idiots like her and McCain in the White House.

But perhaps the tour de force of buffoonery came later, when Biden decided to defend ObamaCare in one of the scariest ways imaginable. He told a Republican voter over the phone, "After it's all over, when your insurance rates go down then you'll vote for me in 2016." Cue collective gulp from all sane people.

Personally, I think it's a toss-up which is worse: that a guy who's been a part of the federal government for decades is so badly informed about a policy any Internet user can dig up the facts of that he believes insurance will be cheaper, or that--God help us--he's hearing the words "President Joe Biden" in his head. Now of course, Biden hears a lot of things in his head, and the chances of him actually becoming Chief Executive are about the same as those of Andrew becoming president of the Rick Santorum Fan Club. But these screw-ups just illustrate the extent to which the guy who might succeed Obama at any moment is a loose cannon. He can't even be trusted to stay on his own party's message; remember that the campaign had to pull him from the tours after his "chains" comment.

Fortunately, it looks like we may only have to put up with his inanity for a couple more months. Bad news for the comics, of course, since Vice-President Slow Joe will be replaced by a truly intelligent and competent person. But it'll be good for America and for the dignity of the office.