Monday, March 11, 2013

Countdown to Armegeddon...New York Style

It's Countdown to Armegeddon. No, it's not the recent threat by Kim Jong Un to burn the 60+ year old cease fire pact with South Korea (which as of today is no longer a threat, but a reality!) or a fly-by comet that may destroy another small Russian town. Today is the last day that we, the great unwashed of New York City, will able to exercise our right as a free peoples to drink large sugary soft drinks any larger than 16 oz. We will no longer know the pleasure of slurping on a large Dr. Pepper along with our triple cheese burgers and buckets 'o popcorn in restaurants, delis, and movie theatres. Of course the great irony is that 7-Eleven stores, the creators of the 64 oz Super Big Gulp are exempt.

Seeing as how Hugo Benito Fidel de Bloomberg has less than 10 months (and counting down) to be Mayor of our fair city, let's put our heads together and make a list of any other objects, issues, or food stuffs that he can possibly ban from our ignorant lives before his term finally expires on December 31, 2013 at 11:59:59 PM Eastern Standard Time. We don't want him to leave office without completing his mission of total domination over our daily lives. I will make sure he gets a copy of our list...

And on a related topic: At the beginning of his reign...er term as Mayor way back in January 1, 2002, Bloomberg took control of the NYC school system. As of last week, it was reported that as of right now, 80% of the graduates from NYC high schools cannot read? How the hell can that actually happen??? I will expand on this later on in the week. But just spend the next couple of days trying to wrap your head around that and I will get back to you...

23 comments:

  1. I'm not a particular fan of their coffee, but I do salute Starbuck's for defying the mayor's ban

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  2. TennJ - I am too. I hope more businesses do it. The city is being sued right notw by NAACP because this new law will as usual disproportiately effect minority businesses. It is possible that either the law will be overturned OR "minority business owners" will get an exemption (highly unlikely).

    I am not particularly a big fan of sugary sodas, so I don't drink them. BUT I may just start again in defiance of his majesty's law. And I think tomorrow should be dubbed "Buy Two 16 oz Sugary Sodas" Day.

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  3. I find "exemptions" to be constitutionally problematic (equal protection) and I continue to be surprised how often it occurs. How different is this exemption from for example if The Glorious Leaders (Bloomberg or Obama, you may choose) decided that all sales of gasoline are banned in New York EXCEPT for Citgo? A peaceful protest by all business by refusing to comply would be very powerful. Another would be to refuse service to any active duty police officer unitl the rule is overturned. Dunkin Donuts might go bankrupt but the police union would get the law changed.

    Of course, Bloomberg is just protecting the young people. Since they can't read (or write) how will they tell the difference between 12 oz and 48 oz.

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  4. Koshcat - 7-11 is exempt because it is considered a grocery store AND grocery stores are regulated by the state and not the city! And trust me, B.H.F. de Bloomberg has been working on Gov. Cuomo to ban sugary sodas state wide. But sadly, Gov. Cuomo has been too busy making sure that he doesn't actually have to make any decisios on whether to allow or ban fracking in his run up to his 2016 Pres run thereby making sure that no one upstate ever works again.

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  5. Bev, It's too bad Chavez didn't die today. That would have been more fitting somehow.

    I wonder how 7-11 got an exemption?

    Also, did you heard that Mayor Doomberg is now setting his sights on loud music?

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  6. Andrew - 7-11 has an exemption because they are defined as a "grocery store" and not a deli or restaurant because they do not "prepare food" to serve. And grocery stores are regulated by the state and not the city. I couldn't tell why that is though.

    And yes, Doomberg is going after loud music and styrofoam containers AND teenage pregnancy which I will go into on Thursday. I think rather than actually wanting to accomplish these bans, he is setting his agenda for his "post-mayoral" years.
    I put that into quotations because I am not entirely convinced he will actually relinquish his office at the end of the year...

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  7. Ah, so he didn't have the power to reach them. Must be nice.

    Styrofoam, loud music, big drinks, teenage pregnancy, guns, salt, fats. There is something really wrong with this man. He clearly has no ability to prioritize. I wonder if we can get him to attack plastic pink flamingos?

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  8. No! I draw the line at banning plastic pink flamingoes. THAT is just going over the line! It's unconscionable! This will NOT go our list ever!

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  9. Bev, Plastic pink flamingos make suburban kids fat... I saw a study. :P

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  10. Andrew, that study only showed that there was a correlation (not causation) between plastic pink flamingos and suburban fat kids when the plastic flamingos are located in the lawns of grandmothers who are trying to overcome the mistakes they made with their children by buying the love of their grandchildren with cookies and milk.

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  11. Therefore, grandmothers should be banned, not flamingos.

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  12. Maybe Bloomberg is guessing that the NYC youth won't be able to tell the difference between a 16-oz. and a 32-oz. Or maybe he doesn't care. Probably the latter.

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  13. http://news.yahoo.com/judge-tosses-york-citys-planned-ban-large-sugary-192815235--sector.html

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  14. As a subject of the People's Republican of Kalifornia I can't really in good conscience comment on the depravities of NY government. I can, however, recommend a solution.

    LINK

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  15. THE PEOPLE HAVE WON (OR IS THAT ONE?)!!!!!

    Thanks, rlaWTX!

    This hasn't filtered down to the great unwashed yet. Oh, and just for the record, its the law that must ship our "grandmothers" to Florida for at least 6 months out of the year.

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  16. A grocery store? They have plenty of prepared meals. Microwave burritos; gas station sushi, those rolling hotdogs. Somebody has to prepare them.

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  17. "Plastic pink flamingos make suburban kids fat"

    No, they make us cool and "ironic"!

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  18. rlaWTX, Yep, we should ban grandmothers.


    Bev, LOL! So that's how all those New Yorkers end up in Florida!

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  19. Bev......I've just got one thing to say about this:

    "Momma said life's like a box of chocolates, and if you live in NYC you never know if it's chocolate or something else on your plate."

    I consider Doomberg the price you NYC'ers must pay to live in such a dynamic city. I would NEVER live there, but I sure love visiting on business or pleasure.

    Good luck in your quest to locate a semblance of sanity in that town.

    "Start spreading the news....you should leave today...you don't want to be part of it...New York, New York"

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  20. But Koshkat - They don't put meat between two pieces of bread and slather it with mustard. In otherwords, if the mustard comes in little plastic packets that you have to spread yourself, they aren't cookin' it. If they aren't cookin' it, it isn't "prepared"

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  21. Back in the good ol' days (way before any of our time), if some idiot passed a rule that upset that many people he would be dragged out and hung. Now I'm not suggesting anyone should hurt Mayor Duschbag but the simplicity of that solution is kind of nice and nobody for awhile would try that again.

    Sort of like the Chinese; if you screw up royally they shot you. Harsh but a simple solution for incompetent government workers. Maybe we can wear wristbands that say WWCD.

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  22. Koshcat, weren't they also fond of rails and tar and feathers in the good ol' days, as well? (Not black road-tar, mind.) It's a mite more civil, a lot less lethal, and much more comical.

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  23. Tryanmax - I prefer the stocks in the town square. I kind of like the idea that I can taunt them, poke them with a stick, throw rotten tomatoes and general humilate them. It's less lethal and a tiny bit more civilized and very satifying.

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