How bad is the state of New York City when the best Anthony Weiner can say about himself is that "At least I'm not a thief"? Actually, as I have reported in the past, it may be a few points in his favor since almost twenty elected officials have been arrested for stealing from the taxpayers. Other than that, there is nothing to report on the pending election front.
Well, there is one thing. Kristin Davis, the former Madam running against her former Client #9 Ex-Luv Gov Eliot Spitzer for New York City Comptroller, was indicted by our favorite US Attorney Preet Bharara, on four counts of allegedly distributing and possessing with intent to distribute a controlled substance "...including amphetamines, oxycodone and muscle relaxants, often used as date-rape drugs — but no Viagra". Sadly for Andrew, there was no allegation that she sold her drugs while wearing a bear suit. She was released on bail early Tuesday, but has yet to announce that she is dropping out of the race. Hey, maybe she can used Weiner's line about not being a thief! And as for Bharara, he is now arresting our candidates BEFORE they are elected! Good for him.
In other news: First there were snakes on a plane. And now...sharks on the subway and just in time for Shark Week!
Yes, somehow a dead shark ended up on the morning train. But as you may know about New Yorkers, we are rarely phased by these things.
So some cheeky ad exec took the opportunity to help the poor little guy out by giving him a Red Bull, cigarette, and metrocard just in case he wanted to transfer to a bus. Hopefully no one will tell Mayor Bloomberg that he was smoking on the subway!
As always, feel free to change the subject at will...
Well, there is one thing. Kristin Davis, the former Madam running against her former Client #9 Ex-Luv Gov Eliot Spitzer for New York City Comptroller, was indicted by our favorite US Attorney Preet Bharara, on four counts of allegedly distributing and possessing with intent to distribute a controlled substance "...including amphetamines, oxycodone and muscle relaxants, often used as date-rape drugs — but no Viagra". Sadly for Andrew, there was no allegation that she sold her drugs while wearing a bear suit. She was released on bail early Tuesday, but has yet to announce that she is dropping out of the race. Hey, maybe she can used Weiner's line about not being a thief! And as for Bharara, he is now arresting our candidates BEFORE they are elected! Good for him.
In other news: First there were snakes on a plane. And now...sharks on the subway and just in time for Shark Week!
Yes, somehow a dead shark ended up on the morning train. But as you may know about New Yorkers, we are rarely phased by these things.
So some cheeky ad exec took the opportunity to help the poor little guy out by giving him a Red Bull, cigarette, and metrocard just in case he wanted to transfer to a bus. Hopefully no one will tell Mayor Bloomberg that he was smoking on the subway!
As always, feel free to change the subject at will...
Bev, Just as an aside, Leathers apparently has released her sex tape: uh... Arrrg.
ReplyDeleteBev, I am depressed about the lack of a bear suit. That would have fit so perfectly. :(
ReplyDeleteHow in the world does a shark get on the subway? That's a new one. Probably global warming.
Andrew.....Sharknado dude! Them there sharks were swept up by tidal waves and dumped in New Yawk!!
ReplyDeleteShould I--? Should I say...? You want me to say it?
ReplyDeleteOkay. Hmm? Yeah--yeah. Okay then.
I am TIRED of these mother-f***ing SHARKS on this mother-f***ing TRAIN!
There, how's that? You like that? That's what you wanted, isn't it?
Some are speculating that the dead shark was actually part of a Shark Week promotion.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I'm reminded of Woody Allen's famous line from Annie Hall: "A relationship is like a shark - it has to constantly move forward or it dies. And what we have here is a dead shark."
"How in the world does a shark get on the subway? That's a new one. Probably global warming."
ReplyDeleteHey, sharks have to get places too, ya' know!
Okay, seriously, there are actually real people who try and sell live sharks on the train. Here how that goes:
"Hey, buddy, ya' wanna buy a shahhk? I got one real cheap. Yeh? Well follow me down this very dark alley..."
Okay that last part is completely unrealistic. NO ONE would ever follow someone down a dark alley in NYC to buy anything. We are waaaay to smart for that!
But, people will buy sharks...on the subway from a stranger. Here is your typical subway car-to-subway car shark salesman
Andrew - Well, THAT didn't take long for Ms. Leathers to find her true calling.
ReplyDeleteOh, btw, Mr. Weiner stepped into it again at an the AARP-sponsored candidate forum yesterday when he referred to George McDonald, Republican Mayoral candidate, as "Grandpa". As in "What are you going to do it about it, Grandpa?" while poking Mr. McDonald in the chest. Well, okay, Mr. McDonald had earlier referred to Mr. Weiner as a "self-pleasuring freak". But hey, at least he didn't call him "Old McDonald", right?
Let's just say that the AARP will probably not be endorsing Weiner.
Patriot - The sharks in "Sharknado" are so much smaller in person, don't you think?
ReplyDeleteOk, I admit, that Samuel L. Jackson quote was necessary. Nice call!
ReplyDeleteBev... only in New York.
Bev.....They sure don't look like they could swallow whole a teenage dork as they come swimming down from the sky!!
ReplyDeleteOff topic, I just read what Stallone's tweet about Bruce Willis was about. He was going to pay Willis $3 million for four days worth of work filming in Bulgaria. Willis said he wanted $4 million or he would drop out.
ReplyDeleteI have no sympathy for Willis on that one.
Mr. McDonald had earlier referred to Mr. Weiner as a "self-pleasuring freak"
ReplyDeleteSee, this is why the Republicans are seen as the stupid party - anyone with ambition, political ability and rampaging hormones left for the Democrats - who pay far better and get laid far more often.
What McDonald should have said was when addressing Mr. Weiner should have been of the type ". . . Mr. Johnson, sorry, I mean Mr. Wiener" also "The fallacy in your argument sticks out like a . uh . . sore thumb". I'm sure this can be added to.
K, So what you're saying is that if you are given the choice between attending a party given by Democrats or one given by Republicans... choose the Democrats?
ReplyDeleteSomehow I'm trying to envision a Republican party actually: cold cuts, cola, and everyone crowded around the television watching old episodes of Gunsmoke and complaining about how no one really wants women to show their ankles if it wasn't for MSM brainwashing. Good times.
Actually, the best parties are probably thrown by the libertarians... if you can forgive the total lack of organization.
The problem with Democratic parties is that they keep wanting everyone else to pay for the beer.
So someone named the subway shark "Al Sharkton"! I wish I had thought of that...
ReplyDeleteBev, LOL! That's brilliant.
ReplyDeleteI think it will be interesting to see how the RNC's threat to withhold debates from tv stations which air Clinton movies works out ('The other 699 channels will each host one debate, even Kung Fu Network, but no debate for you!)..
ReplyDeleteSo on one hand, hosting a primary debate isn't a big deal. On the other, a primary debate is probably a bigger deal than a Hillary Clinton movie.
Hillary Clinton movie? Now I am nauseated. I just hope there isn't a hot tub scene!
ReplyDeleteYep, it's a miniseries. And there is a hot tub scene. You've got a naked Hillary, a naked Warren Christopher, and Robert Reich in a bikini, and they're all drunk and singing "Shaaalaaaala..."
ReplyDeleteWow, that hurt my soul.... I think I need a bandaid.
ReplyDeleteThe irony in the Hillary movies, is that the whole Citizen's United case was about a group wanting to air a movie on HBO or Showtime that showed Hillary in a not very favorable light one month before the 2008 primaries. The FEC, Clintons and the her Dem leadership base fought tooth and nail to keep it off the air before the primaries...and then we all know what happened next.
ReplyDeletehttp://telly.com/GVSNS
ReplyDeleteLandshark!
*vomiting*
ReplyDeleteAndrew, we will not allow that kind of disgusting dirty talk on this blog.
*vomiting*
That's inspired by a true story. I swear.
ReplyDeleteSure (rolling eyes), like Hillary can sing
ReplyDelete"Inspired by" means that only one word of it needs to be true to make the whole thing true.
ReplyDeleteBesides, I never said she was singing well.
This is what happens when you have sharks coming on to land...they breed with the native species and you end up with this...Shark Kitty!
ReplyDeletedon't tell T-Rav...he'll want one.
Bev, That's funny. I like that.
ReplyDeleteAndrew - I have never seen the Hammerhead Shark dog! By the look in their eyes, you can tell that they are plotting their revenge on their owner(s)...
ReplyDeleteThis is an outrage! Quick, get Bloomberg to call for the implementation of shark-accessible troughs and aquarium cars in the NYC subway system! Remove all shark-phobic posters and advertising! Have shark sensitivity training classes for all subway personnel!
ReplyDeleteIt's time we had a national conversation about our speciesism. That shark was clearly profiled, and I can't help but wonder what would have happened if it had been a "great" white rather than a black-tipped reef shark.
Andrew, I'd heard that Bruce Willis is just an absolute ass to work with. Kevin Smith described working with him, though he never referenced him by name (but everybody quickly figured out who he was talking about). He would ask him to get on his mark, and Bruce would blithely wander off to the craft services table, completely ignore direction, deliberately miss his mark to force the cameras to change position; you name it.
For a second rate talent, he's got first class ego and a third grade mentality.
Bev,
ReplyDeleteIIRC the thing with the original Clinton movie is that it was just an attempt to do an end run around campaign finance limits ('We're not running anti-Clinton ads, we're promoting our movie').
The SC lifting all restrictions was the optimal solution because a group of random people with a hundred million dollars to spend should be just as free to spread their message as journalists.
More Off Topic: Lots of paranoid people left and right are screaming about the "sweat-heart deal" Bezos gave the owners of the Washington Post. Blah blah blah INTERNATIONAL SOCIALISM!!/CAPITALIST PIGS!!.
ReplyDeleteIt turns out the reason he paid $250 million, which was more than the paper is consider worth, is because he unloaded the pension obligations onto the company he bought the paper from. Basically, he cut out the massive liability that was resulting in the paper appearing unprofitable when it wasn't actually unprofitable. Factor that out and he got a great deal. Smart man... bad conspiracy theories.
wahsatchmo, That is an extremely good replica of genuine liberal gibberish! :D
ReplyDeleteI'd never heard much about Willis as a person, but that really does speak volumes. And being so publicly called out by another actor is really petty shocking. This is the kind of thing that can tank a reputation pretty quickly.
Bev, I looked it up and great oogely moogely, they have costumes for dogs. Arg. That's so so wrong.
ReplyDeleteUh, halloooo, Andrew, you didn't know about the huge animal costume industry? Especially in NYC! They even have pet strollers! I mean, isn't the point of walking one's dog to actually WALK the dog?? And the shark kitty has a look that can only be describes as "Uh, yeah, laugh NOW, Human, but I watch you when you sleep and I WILL have my revenge!" The Hammerhead Shark dog doesn't even look like he is aware he HAS a costume on...and the little duckling just looks confused.
ReplyDeleteWahshatchmo - Funny you should say all that. The shark fin industry is huge. They have actually banned the sale of fins. It's really gruesome too. They catch sharks and cut their dorsal fin and throw them back in the water. It's really cruel and is decimating the shark population in NY and globally.
ReplyDeleteAnthony - That is correct. Which, of course, is why they are doing a miniseries about Hillary. It is kind of stupid to try and get it stopped considering that that Conservatives had no problem with the Citizen's United film. They should just push for equal time and push to air that film.
ReplyDeleteBev, The shark fin thing is nasty. Shrimping is bad news too.
ReplyDeleteCountdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: France -Part 1 of 3
-France stumbles right out of the gate at the start of the war. The French war plan, Plan XVII, was designed to attack Germany in the territories of Alsace and Lorraine, with France’s massive line of forts at the soldiers' back. (Never mind that these mountainous territories had been taken by Germany in 1871 for defensive purposes.) The French rationale included: the belief that Germany would not defend these territories very well (turned out to be false); ignoring the possibility of Germany attacking through Belgium in order to ignore the French forts (a costly error); the desire to see the “lost territories” of Alsace and Lorraine restored to France (more of an emotional, rather than a logical, concept); and belief that people living in these territories would welcome them in their struggle against Germany (Alsace and Lorraine are French-German hybrids and could go either way. Thus the plan- similar to the same one Ho Chin Minh envisioned when he planned the 1968 Tet Offensive in South Vietnam- wasn’t as effective as hoped).
The French Army’s initial attacks in southern Germany were pushed back, and they eventually had to take refuge in the forts. This was combined with the massive French-British retreat in Belgium and northern France as Germany followed through with its own Schlieffen Plan. French forces were nearly routed, forcing General Joseph Galieni, the recently-promoted Military Governor of Paris, to summon his inner Andrew Jackson, running through Paris with his officers, calling on citizens to take up arms and follow him to the front. More than six-hundred taxi cabs were commandeered for the effort. The German move toward Paris stopped when the German commanders mistook the ragtag ‘army’ for reserve troops, and halted the exhausted German soldiers. (Had they known what they were up against, they probably would’ve continued to advance.) The offensive stopped within 80 miles of Paris. French and Allied propaganda called this engagement the Battle of the Marne. This ‘battle’ actually consisted of five smaller German attacks, four of which were successful. (The fifth attack ended in retreat only because the ground taken was an indefensible swamp.) Out of steam and low on supplies, the Germans settled in for defensive warfare. Galieni himself would counter questions about this engagement by saying, “was there even a Battle of the Marne?”
The war then consisted of mostly defensive engagements for France (Ypres, Verdun) and costly attacks with their British allies (the Somme) until 1917. That year, the failure of an offensive led by General Nivelle resulted in a mass mutiny that General Petain managed to put down with front-line rotation, more leave, and other reforms. The French Army finally gained the initiative in 1918 when, in coordination with British and American troops, pushed the Germans close to the Franco-German border. This helped to bring about German surrender in November, 1918.
France demanded (and got) massive concessions from Germany at the Paris Peace Conference. These included massive reparations and occupation of the Rhineland that lasted for 15 years. (French Prime Minister Clemenceau had wanted Germany broken up into hundreds of small states and bankrupted into oblivion, but other countries feared this would destroy the European economy.)
The war was a demographic nightmare for France, with an entire generation of young men killed. (France’s population, in fact, wouldn’t recover until the 1960’s.) The French then turned their efforts to defensive warfare in the 1930’s, as another war loomed. This massive line of turrets, forts, and underground tunnels along the Franco-German border became known as the Maginot Line (named for French war Minister Andre Maginot). The effort proved futile, however, when, in 1940, German troops invaded Holland and Belgium and simply went around the Maginot line before knocking France out of World War II.
Countdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: France -Part 2 of 3
-Joseph Caillaux, French Prime Minister (before the scandal involving his wife): Despite his wife’s acquittal, he fails to regain the prime minister position after the war starts. He then becomes the leader of a major peace party, getting attention (and ire) for his willingness to negotiate a settlement with Germany at Great Britain’s expense. His plans are ignored after the belligerent Georges Clemenceau becomes French Prime Minister in 1917. In fact, Caillaux is tried for treason for his efforts in 1918, is convicted, and is released for time already served. He rises again to power at the head of left-leaning governments in the 1920’s. (d: 1944)
-General Joseph Joffre, Chief of Staff of the French Army: Earns the hatred of many politicians and military figures (French and British) for his unwillingness to cooperate or share vital information during the early months of the war. He continues to maintain the situation until 1916, when he leads a joint attack with British Field Marshal Sir Douglas Haig (the Battle of the Somme). Continued losses at the “meat grinders” of the Somme and Verdun (along with difficulties along the Salonika Front near Greece), lead to his dismissal at the end of 1916. Afterwards he becomes the first man to receive the ceremonial title of Marshal of France in the Third Republic, and spends the rest of the war trying to reform the Romanian Army and acting as a French liaison to the USA. (d: 1931)
-Adophe Messimy, French Minister of War: The failure of Plan XVII leads to his forced resignation as War Minister in August 1914. Afterwards, he joins the army, and is eventually promoted to lieutenant-colonel. He is wounded twice, at the Vosges and the Somme, but survives and finishes the war as a brigadier general. Elected as a French senator in 1923, he serves until his death in 1935.
Countdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: France -Part 3 of 3
-Maurice Paleologue, Ambassador to Russia: Remains at his post until 1917. After the war, he serves several years as Foreign Minister. He later becomes famous for writing several history books, mostly on Russia and Czarina Alexandra (he saw several meetings between her and Father Grigori Rasputin). (d: 1944)
-Raymond Poincare, President of France: Manages to hold onto the Presidency until 1920, but loses lots of power after Clemenceau becomes prime minister in 1917. He serves two more terms as prime minister during the 1920’s. He fights with Great Britain endlessly over the terms of Germany’s war reparations, and even orders the military occupation of the Ruhr Valley in 1923 to forcibly collect reparations and ensure that Germany complies with the Versailles Treaty. (d: 1934)
-Rene Viviani, Prime Minister of France: Setbacks in the first year of the war lead him to resign in August 1915. He becomes Minister of Justice for the rest of the war. After the war, he acts as a French representative to the League of Nations and the Washington Naval Conference of 1921. (d: 1925)
Countdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: Great Britain -Part 1 of 3
-Great Britain suffers severe casualty numbers with its ally, France, after the start of the war. Both countries had played the “numbers game,” believing that having superior numbers of troops would ultimately determine the war. Neither country, it seems, had calculated the impact of Germany’s modern artillery pieces. Both countries launched repeated assault at the German lines with little or no gain from 1914 to 1916, culminating in the disastrous and costly Battle of the Somme. These losses led to the fall of Prime Minster Asquith’s government. He was succeeded by a coalition government led by David Lloyd George. For the first time, Britain was forced to adopt military conscription and move large numbers of women into factories as industrial workers.
The British Navy scored the only major naval victory in 1916, defeating the German High Seas fleet in the Battle of Jutland, off the coast of Sweden. After the disaster of the 1915-16 Gallipoli Campaign, the British Army made gains in other fronts against the Ottoman Empire in the Middle East. By 1918, the British Army, along with the Americans and French, managed to push the Germans back, forcing them to agree to an armistice.
British representatives were, at first, supportive of harsh terms against Germany at the Paris Peace Conference. However, support for such measures waned as the conference drew on (though British representatives failed to contradict those calling for harsh terms, possibly because of a public desire for revenge on Germany among the British people). British officials would later describe French policy at the conference as “greedy” and “vindictive.” (After Germany, under Hitler, re-militarized the Rhineland in 1936, Labour leader Ramsey MacDonald said he was “pleased” that the Treaty of Versailles was “vanishing;” he added that he hoped the French would be taught a “severe lesson.”)
Countdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: Great Britain -Part 2 of 3
-Herbert Henry Asquith, Prime Minister: Continues to lead the Liberal government for the first year of the war. However, a massive shell shortage leads to the collapse of this Cabinet and it’s replaced by a coalition government. He's dealt further blows by the failure of the Gallipoli Campaign in early 1916 and the loss of support from several key Conservatives he needs to keep his government functioning. He resigns in December 1916. As head of the Liberal Party, he becomes opposition leader, but loses his seat in 1918. He serves four more years in the House of Commons after the war, before leaving politics for good in 1926. (d: 1928)
-Sir George Buchanan, Ambassador to Russia: Continues to serve as ambassador through the war. He even develops a close friendship with Czar Nicholas II (despite the fact that Czarina Alexandra despises him). He also works closely with the Provisional Government until it is overthrown by the Bolsheviks. His last official position is Ambassador to the Holy See, 1919- 1921. (d: 1924)
-Winston Churchill, First Lord of the Admiralty: Stays on in the Admiralty until the disastrous Gallipoli Campaign, which he helped plan. That failure leads to the collapse of the Liberal Government. Conservatives who help form the succeeding coalition government demand Churchill’s resignation (both for his failure over Gallipoli and, likely, because he had started out as a Conservative early in his career, but switched to the Liberal Party). After several months of a minor role as an MP, he heads for the Western Front as a Lieutenant Colonel, commanding the 6th Battalion of the Royal Scots Fusiliers. He eventually returns to England in his role as an MP, and is later appointed Minister of Munitions by Lloyd George, solving the shell crisis and actually leaving the country with a surplus by war’s end. (He even plays a key role in the development of the tank.)
Over the next ten years, he serves as Secretary of State for War, Colonial Secretary, and Chancellor of the Exchequer, switching back to the Conservative Party in the process. However, his old party distrusts him and he is soon confined to what he calls the “political wilderness” for most of the 1930’s, seen only as a relic of the Great War political crowd. He begins to return to prominence when he speaks out against the re-armament of Germany under that country’s radical National Socialist Party. But, as historian J.G. Meyer puts it, “that is another story.”
Countdown to Catastrophe
ReplyDeleteAftermath: Great Britain -Part 3 of 3
-King George V: The war takes its toll on him, with many believing that he ages prematurely. In 1917, he changes his family name from Saxe-Coburg and Gotha to Windsor, which sounds more English. He later refuses to allow his cousin, the deposed Nicholas Romanov into the country for political asylum for fear that the public would be in an uproar (given how unpopular Russia had become). He deeply regrets this after Nicholas’ execution, and refuses to ever meet with diplomats from the USSR because of it.
He continues to reign until his death in 1936. His heir, Edward VIII, abdicates within a year because of his refusal to end his relationship with American divorcee, Wallis Simpson. He’s succeeded by George V’s younger son, George VI- Britain’s king during WWII and father of Britain’s current Queen Elizabeth II.
-Sir Edward Grey, Foreign Minister: In 1915, he helps publicize and unravel a plot known as the ‘Hindu-German Conspiracy.’ Basically, it was a Central Powers plan to create mutinies and unrest among native peoples in India, thereby tying up Britain and leaving the British unable to focus on fighting Germany. (The plot had Irish support as well.) He holds his position until Asquith is forced out as prime minister in December 1916 and accepts a new position in the House of Lords. After the war, he serves as Ambassador to the United States from 1919 to 1920. He continues to be active in politics until increasing blindness makes this impossible. He then works five years as Chancellor of the University of Oxford. (d: 1933)
[imitates the late Paul Harvey]
ReplyDeleteAnd now you know...the rest of the story.
Good day!
ReplyDeleteApplause.... Whooo hooo!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely done. This has been a really enjoyable series and I've looked forward to it every night. It's been a fascinating look behind the scenes of world history.
Thanks! :D
Thanks, tryanmax! Good day to you to, sir!
ReplyDeleteAndrew, you are very, very welcome!
ReplyDeleteThis was something I'd wanted to do for a few years and finally decided to go ahead. It's very good to hear that you enjoyed it so much. I only hope I can contribute in other ways in the future.
It was well worth doing! In fact, as you've seen, there have been quite a few people following it. This is a heck of an interesting story.
ReplyDelete... though the ending needs work... "everyone dies" won't sell my friend! We need happy! ;P
I once gave my brother a book ("A World Undone" by J.G. Meyer) that gives a good, if not too detailed, account of the July Crisis. His first comment was- apart from it being a little too pro-British- that this whole thing could make a terrific min-series.* I agree. Truth is definitely greater than fiction.
ReplyDeleteOn the ending, well, there's not a lot to say about a war that ends as ambiguously as it started and only leads to more terrible events. In fact, some historians say this was just The Great War: Part 1- with WW2 being Great War: Part 2. (The Cold War is Phase 3.) I even heard one mention that this whole thing doesn't really end until June, 1994, when Russian forces finally leave Berlin. All in all, a tough way to end a story. But as history shows, not all stories have happy endings.
*- there is a 1970's BBC series, "Fall of Eagles" that deals with this somewhat. It starts in 1848, with 18-year-old Franz Joseph becoming emperor and follows the Hapsburg, Hohenzollern, Romanov, and Windsor Royal families up through World War I. I haven't seen it yet, but it might be worth checking out.
By the way, if anyone has any questions, please feel free to ask!
ReplyDeleteIt would make an excellent miniseries.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've always felt that WWI is really just the first act. WWII was inevitable the moment WWI ended. In fact, I think it's interesting that Germany waited just long enough to produce another generation of young men before they restarted the war. And if they'd made a couple different decisions, that one would have ended very differently too.
And I think it's very valid to see the third act finally ending in 1994, though I do see a disconnect personally.
Andrew, if we're going to take things a step further, I'd recommend "How Hitler Could Have Won World War II" by Bevin Alexander. It's one of those 'read at your own risk' type of books. Mostly a military tome, it really delves into how close the Germans came to winning World War II (usually despite overwhelming odds), and how close the Allies came to losing it over and over again.
ReplyDeleteAs for the German population, Germany didn't suffer anywhere near the manpower losses that the Entente countries did. (France and Britain developed a strange love affair for human wave attacks, which the Germans considered suicidal.) Though Germany was still outnumbers in WW2, for the most part, they used what they had very well.
Rustbelt, The British and French penchant for human waves... often in line... was just stunning. It's no wonder the French mutinied and that their "elan" broke. I think France died as a country on the battlefields of WWI.
ReplyDeleteI've seen a lot about how close the German's came to victory and how small some of those decisions were. There are about a dozen points where they could have won the war if they'd just made a slightly different decision.
There was nothing inevitable about our victory.
Andrew, it's pretty scary to think about close the Germans came to winning WW2. there are times I'd rather not think about it.
ReplyDeleteAs for France, yeah, they haven't been the same since. They were woefully under-prepared. Not to say the British were much better. Until the end of the war, General Haig believed the decisive battle would be won by a cavalry charge. (Because of the Somme, his name is still a swear word in the UK, or so I've heard.)
But the quote of quotes to reveal hopeless military incompetence goes to General Sukhomlinov. He believed he learned everything he needed to know back in the 1877 war with the Ottomans and everything else was theory that stunk of modernization. As far he was concerned, in his day they won battles with bayonets and THEY LIKED IT! He actually told his staff once (I may be paraphrasing a little), "modern innovations are not necessary for commanders. Look at me. I haven't read a military manual in 25 years and look at the position I've achieved." Yeah, Russia was the perfect ally for France.
Rustbelt, I've never heard that, but it sounds like a lot of Russian (and French) generals. The Russians in particular seemed to think that war was about pointing at the enemy and yelling advance no matter how stupid.
ReplyDeleteI think what served the Germans and the Americans so well was trusting the troops to make their own decisions on the field, a strong culture that embraced innovation, and promoting competence over pedigree once the war starts. Other countries don't seem to embrace those ideas.
Andrew, the Germans were like a sponge when it came to new tactics. Like all European countries, they had observers over here during the Civil War. Unlike those other countries, they actually learned from their observations and picked on what we learned from the Civil War- such as using balloons for reconnaissance (Ambrose Burnside), moving troops by railway (Robert E. Lee), breech-loading rifles (mostly on the North), and aggressive use of artillery (both sides, though Stonewall Jackson was a terrific theorist on this). The Germans took all of this (along with France's automatic recoil system for artillery, which the French failed to take advantage of) and upped it all to the Nth degree for European armies.
ReplyDeleteAs for command structures, you pretty much nailed it. France and Britain kept their staff officers pretty far from the soldiers. Plus, everything had to (ultimately) be approved by the top commander. That's just not efficient enough for a modern army. The Germans, like the Americans, gave lower-ranking commanders power to make decisions and even distributed artillery and specialist troops so they could adjust to the situation. Did I mention Japan based their general staff on the German model?
I don't think it's coincidence that the U.S. and Germany/Japan were the main opponents of WW2.
(Although, it should be noted that Germany's WW2 'Fuhrer Principle' practically wiped out freedom of action on the battlefield. If that wasn't around, well, let's just say things might've been different.)
Rustbelt, I concur. It's really fascinating if you read about training methods that you will see that the Germans pushed real responsibility to a very low level -- much like we do. The rest maintained this hierarchy which prevented pretty much anything. If Hitler hadn't interceded in tactics and started to demand control at a very low level himself, the German's probably would have won.
ReplyDeleteOn Japan, by the way, they are the one country I think was doomed no matter what because they were too easy to choke off. Just sink all their shipping, like we did with submarines, and the island dies. They should have been much more careful about moving factories and the such to China, using rail across land, and shortening the shipping distance by coming from Korea. But they didn't do that.
Good point on the Civil War. It's fascinating to read about how much we learned as the war dragged on, and then to see the Germans pick all of that up and run with it whereas the French (and to a degree the British) ignored it.
WWII repeats this. The Germans spent the 1930s learning everything... France spent the time forgetting everything.
Oh, and Russia spent the 1930s purging anyone who knew anything.
ReplyDeleteOh, cut the Russians some slack, Andrew. With their battlefront track record, I'm not sure they learned anything worth purging.
ReplyDeleteOh, wait...they learned how to stage a revolution and overthrow the government. Yeah, I can see how that would need to be purged. Good point!
Actually, what's funny is that in one of history's little ironies, their invasion of and total de-pantsing by Finland probably saved their butts in WWII. It was after that that they realized they needed to modernize and bring back some people who knew something about military tactics from the gulags. Without that, I think the Germans would have destroyed them in the field within months (as compared to "nearly" destroying them in the field) and 1941 would have been a very different year.
ReplyDeleteSo, would we credit Finland with saving the world or dooming a good portion of it? Ah, Harry Truman was right during his Senate days:
ReplyDelete"If the Russians are winning the war, we should aid the Germans. If the Germans are winning the war, we should aid the Russians. That way, they'll be sure to kill off as many of each other as possible."
Ironically, Finland probably did save the war by waking Russia up.
ReplyDeleteTruman makes a really good point there. You know the old saying, "The only difference between a good communist and a good Nazi is the color of the shirt." That's pretty much true and letting them wipe each other out was a good thing.
In fact, I always have to laugh a bit when I hear people talk up D-Day and how we beat the Germans. We really didn't. By the time D-Day happened, the Russians had broken Germany's back through Stalingrad and Kursk -- over a million Germans dead or captured. The real significance of D-Day is that it save Europe from the Russians.
And I'm not belittling the achievement or the courage of the Allies at D-Day, but the casualties on the Western front were nothing compared to the millions on the Eastern front. That's where German was beaten. And frankly, that suits me... two evil ideologies butchering each other.
Andrew, any historian worth his salt knows the war was won or lost st Stalingrad. Interestingly, the commander who won the battle- and pretty much the Eastern Front- Field Marshal Georgy Zhukov, was only available because he'd been stationed in the east during Stalin's purges of the previous years. Good time to be out of town.
ReplyDeleteAnd Zhukov was busy fighting a brief war in 1939 against Japan. Japanese losses convinced Tokyo not to go to war with the USSR again- they opted to fight the U.S.A. instead. (Conversely, the USSR was terrified of splitting its forces, fighting Japan and Germany at the same time. An attack in Siberia might just have been what Germany needed. In fact, they even game-planned it- "Operation Orient"- with the Japanese. However, neither Japan nor the USSR wanted to fight each other again.) So, I guess we have to credit not only the Fins, but, ironically, the Japanese for saving the world (from themselves?).
Oh, this is too much thinking for this time of night.
"Good time to be out of town." LOL!
ReplyDeleteTrue, the Japanese really did lose the war for Germany. If they had invaded Russia instead of the US, Germany probably would have swept through Russia long before we got involved militarily.
I don't think, though, that we would have stayed out without Pearl Harbor. Pearl Harbor made it easy to get in, but we were already unofficially fighting in the Atlantic and I think we would have declare war for one reason or another. It was too important not to.
Anyway, it is late! Sleep well, my friend! Thanks again for an excellent series.
I will, Andrew! And once again, you're welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed it!
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