Thursday, September 5, 2013

A Rose By Any Other Name Still Has Thorns




What's in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;

-William Shakespeare from "Romeo & Juliet"


Of course, Juliet of the House of Capulet pondered this question as she waxed poetic about her doomed love for her beloved Romeo, the son of her family's sworn enemy from the House of Montague. She pondered that if only his name were not Montague, then they would be free to love each other. No, this isn't going to be a dissertation on R & J. Just bear with me...

The next lines are the gist of the quote:

So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call'd,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.

Well, fast forward to 2009 and our word odyssey began courtesy of the Obama Administration. In the last five years Obama and his crew of supernumeraries have set about to change the names of stuff. They have raise changing the the names of stuff to an art form worthy of Shakespeare, or maybe George Carlin. Though I am leaning heavily toward George Orwell. Let's review.

How to get passed the studies that found the Earth hasn't been warming for about 12 years? How was Al Gore going to sell us on carbon credits and solar/wind energy if their doctrine of Global Warming wasn't living up to its end of the bargain? When the science did not comport to the name or to their agenda, they put on their re-thinking caps. Yes, "The White House Committee Who Sits At A Big Table and Re-Names Stuff" (oh yeah, there really IS a committee) came up the term "Climate Change" to replace "Global Warming". And with the help of the mass media, "Global Warming" was struck from the lexicon.

Next up was an effort to soften all those those harsh, direct, and mean-sounding Bushisms. So, "Global Terrorism" and "War on Terror" changed to 'Overseas Contingency Operation" or, in the case of Libya, to "kinetic military operation". Acts of terrorism became "man-made disasters" and those who perpetrated such "disasters" were called...well...nothing. The word "terrorist" was just too harsh and "man-made disaster-ist" just sounded stupid.

So last week, in the run-up to Obamacare, our intrepid Committee rolled out their new "rose" from the Obama-nary. "Taxes" will henceforth be referred to as...drum roll please..."shared responsibility payments". Yes. "The White House Committee Who Sits At A Big Table and Re-Names Stuff" have now decided the word "tax" needed an upgrade to a softer, more communal sounding name to make the impending Obamacare tax more palatable. Doesn't the term "shared responsibility payments" make you feel ashamed that you don't want to be responsible for your fair share?

Another way of interpreting what Shakespeare wrote so many generations ago could also be that changing the name does not change what it is. As perfect as Romeo was in the eyes of the 14-year-old Juliet, he still carried the blood of the House of Montague. And only the adolescent mind could think that merely changing the name would changes the definition. Romeo would still have the thorns of the House of Montague even if he were to deny his father and refuse his name. And so it is with changing the name of anything. The rose may still smell as sweet, but the thorns still draw blood. And a tax by any other name is still taking money out of our paychecks for the government to waste.

So, what do we think the next upgrade will be? Will the much loathed Internal Revenue Service change its name to The Office of Shared Responsibility Payments? And when the SRP coordinators (f/k/a IRS agents) come knocking at your door because you have failed to be responsible enough, will you then be reassigned to the Shared Communal Housing for the Unwilling to Share And Irresponsible for 3 to 5 years? I mean that does sound so much better than Federal Prison, doesn't it?

50 comments:

  1. We have always been at war with Eastasia.

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  2. So we're going to have a hard time moving these "Friend Of Eastasia" shirts?

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  3. My head is spinning Bev.

    A "shared responsibility payment" sounds ominous frankly. It sound like a sci-fi euphemism for a suicide booth or something.

    And what the heck is a Man-made Contingency Climate?

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  4. Well, the band Poison did tell us that every rose has its thorns. Wa, wa, waaaaaa

    Andrew, by suicide booth do you mean something like this?
    LINK

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  5. Kit, Yep. That's exactly what I meant... only more ominous.

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  6. Actually, Andrew, come to think of it, I think a suicide booth would more likely be called something like a "Permanent Rest Facility".

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  7. Some suggestions for future reference:

    Health redistribution = It's immoral for people not connected to the government to have two kidneys when there are people in the world who have none.

    Universal wealth care = take your yearly income and sign it over to the government.

    Sexual justice = even the ugliest men/women/whatever should be able to get laid on demand.

    Human rights enforcement = locking up people who exercise their human rights.






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  8. K,

    With all due respect, you are doing it wrong. ;)

    Your "Universal Wealth Care" would be called "General/Universal Income Redistribution."

    "Human rights enforcement = locking up people who exercise their human rights." Which human rights are you referring to? Free labor, freedom of speech, freedom of religion? And then you gotta be specific!
    Example, if you are referring to the right to choose the line of employment you want to pursue (Free Labor) then the proper name should be "Employment Opportunity Management".

    Be imaginative in your sterile, oppressive, bureaucratic government office naming! :)

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  9. "General/Universal Income Redistribution."

    Scratch that. "General/Universal Income Management"

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  10. Kit, how about this one?

    "Navigated Well-Being Assistance"

    I don't even know what it means and I just made it up. It could be anything. Or everything!

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  11. Sounds pretty good. Sterile and innocent(-ish) sounding yet with a sprinkle of ominous.

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  12. Bev.....This has been going on for a while. Not just with these bozos.

    The War Department = Department of Defense
    Health Education and Welfare = Health and Human Services
    Abortion = Choice
    Robber caught on Camera = Alleged perpetrator
    Radical Muslim rioters = Students or Disaffected Youths
    Black criminals = Teens
    White criminals = White criminals

    I could do this all day. Of course we have to end with this from "The White House Committee Who Sits At A Big Table and Re-Names Stuff":

    'When I use a word,' Obama said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.'
    'The question is,' said Republicans, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

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  13. Man-made Contingency Climate - That's what was created in one of those Bio-spheres in the '70's. As Dave Barry would say, that would make a great name for rock band too! They could open for Poison...

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  14. General/Universal Income Management - Shared Responsibility Payments Division

    I think that will be my new career path! It sounds important, yet kind and gentle. I'll serve tea in my office to all of my "clients" when I tell them their wages will garnished at 110% to pay for their healthcare...

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  15. Patriot - I know we've change the names of stuff in the past, because of political correctness (HHS) or changes in focus (DoD). But when it is so blatantly obvious, it just becomes scary.

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  16. Bev.....Oh I agree! That's what makes Orwell's 1984 so prescient when he wrote it back in 1949.

    Thought Crimes = Hate Crimes
    Big Brotha = Obama
    Ministry of Truth = MSM
    Proles = Low Information Voters
    Thought Police = NSA
    Two Minutes of Hate = NY Times Frontpage

    Anyhoo......It IS downright scary to this member of the Outer Party!

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  17. Bev, you can't garnish incomes at 110% without a "negative income tax" payment of 10% of their original income in the first place. The effective zero income then makes them eligible for the "government healthy food assistance" and "government eco-sustainable housing" stipends.

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  18. K, or a Navigated Well-Being Assistant can just shoot them in the head if they are deemed too burdensome to the state.

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  19. Alternatively, you could appeal your case to the Special Underwriting eXchange for Binding Benefits Utilization (colloquially referred to as "SUX2BU.")

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  20. How about a catch for "new government": assisted living.

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  21. Bev, "They could open for Poison"... LOL!

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  22. So the bottom line here is: Kids are stupid, the people in the WH are stupid, ergo the people in the WH are basically overgrown kids. Yeah, I could get behind that.

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  23. "Robber caught on Camera = Alleged perpetrator"

    Patriot, the term "alleged perpetrator" is a legal thing. So if, somehow, it turns out he's innocent (somehow) they will not get sued.

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  24. Bev - great article! This was a hoot :) I'd say more, but posting is tough right now

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  25. Kit.....Understood. That's why I put "caught on camera."

    Sorta like the Austin Powers scene with Liz Hurley, when caught with the Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump:

    Powers: Thats not mine!
    Agent: One credit card receipt for one Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump, signed by Austin Powers
    P: I'm telling you baby, that's not mine.
    A: One warranty card for one Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pump filled out by Austin Powers
    P: I don't even know what this is. This sorta thing ain't my bag baby!
    A: One book..Swedish-Made Penis Enlarger Pumps and me (this sorta thing is my bag baby) .... by Austin Powers.

    My point (if I even had one) is that even when caught red-handed, we must always use the term "alleged."

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  26. K - See, in the land of "shared responsibility payments" all of your co-workers and employer will "share" your penalty. So they pick up the extra 10%. That way you make sure all of your co-workers are PAYING the fair share!

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  27. Alternatively, you could appeal your case to the Special Underwriting eXchange for Binding Benefits Utilization (colloquially referred to as "SUX2BU.")

    LOLOLOL!! That so perfect!

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  28. Thanks, 10J!! You don't need to post, just feel better! I am sending healing thoughts. (My auto correct spelled that "trouts"! If you want I could send trout too!)

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  29. "So the bottom line here is: Kids are stupid, the people in the WH are stupid, ergo the people in the WH are basically overgrown kids. Yeah, I could get behind that."

    T-Rav - um, sadly that is about right. I find this administration particularly adolescent.

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  30. Patriot,

    You may be right, but I don't mind them using it. I think the bigger problem is certain news reporters/analysts cover crimes from such a pro-prosecution angle that they build up everyone to think that they will be found guilty. The primo example of this is Nancy Grace (a.k.a. "Pravda for the Prosecution")

    But that Austin Powers scene is still funny. :)

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  31. Good stuff, Bev.

    Blecch to the corruption of language for political purposes.

    I'm sure a few of you recognized that some years back, we stopped writing checks to the "Internal Revenue Service" and instead write them to the "United States Treasury." It's not like the IRS stopped cashing our checks or anything. But at least we feel better thinking we're giving to our government coffers rather than to a terrifying agency of evil.

    The "Climate Change" thing especially galls me. The entire theory is dependent on the introduction of too much man made CO2 into the atmosphere, thereby increasing global heat which induces oceans to release more water vapor into the air, producing a catastrophic warming feedback effect. To call it "climate change" means they don't necessarily know whether the feedback effect warms, cools, or has no effect the planet, thereby undermining the entire theory.

    So I propose we call it the "We Really Have No F***ing Clue Theory" from now on.

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  32. Kit and Patriot, I'm a fan of a little thing called the Constitution and it says "innocent until proven guilty." So I don't mind the "alleged" at all. I don't see what it hurts either to remind people that until someone is actually convicted, our system doesn't recognize them as criminals.

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  33. Bev, Auto correct is both amazing and hilarious at the same time. It's funny how often the words it suggest are utter nonsense... like trout.

    But then, my phone is slowly learning to read my mind and it's really creepy. I've had some points where all I had to do was keep hitting the button and it assembled exactly what I planned to say. Yikes!

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  34. wahsatchmo, What galls me about "climate change" is that it was an attempt to lie... flat out.

    They started the whole thing with global warming. The planet is getting warmer and we are all doomed... fear global warming.

    Then it didn't happen. Instead, it got colder. So they tried to change the name to climate change without changing the underlying theory. That is ridiculous. The theory proved false. You don't get to just change the name and then keep right on going. You need to start from scratch.

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  35. Andrew/Bev...Remember when in the 70's when we were heading in to the new Global Freezing cycle?

    It's like these grifters have no memory or think that most people don't remember their bogus theories after a couple years anyway! Al "Chicken Little" Gore being the most prominent among the grifters.

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  36. Yep, "Global Ice Age" coming up.

    "Buffalo just had the coldest winter on record. The city was almost destroyed in an ice storm. Pollution is blocking out the sun. Temperatures keep dropping. Agriculture will die. Everyone will starve."

    Then it got warmer.

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  37. Its like God is trolling the environmentalists.

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  38. What's funny is, all the geologists are pretty certain that we're only in an interlude between phases of the actual Ice Age (the one with the glaciers and the woolly mammoths and all). So no matter what we do (or don't do) with the climate, there'll be real global cooling in a few thousand years or so anyway. So why worry?

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  39. T-Rav, I've heard similar scientific reports. According to them, Earth is presently going an era of periodic Ice Ages. The latest one, known as the "Little Ice Age," ended in the mid-19th century. (It started at the end of the Medieval warming period.) While not a full-blown Ice Age, the little Ice Age clearly had cooler temperatures not felt today. (When was the last time people saw this much ice on the Delaware River?)
    Thus, our current four-season weather pattern is seen as abnormal according to this research...which, by the way, also estimates that in about 10,000 to 15,000 years, another Ice Age will be under way and cities like Montreal, Buffalo, and Detroit will be under a mile of ice.

    Well, when extreme cleaning is called for, call in Mother Nature!

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  40. I wish they would get here. Seriously, I hate warm weather. I'd build a home on Pluto if I could.

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  41. Kit, I think it's more that environmentalists are making the same mistake the public makes when investing in stocks -- they ignore cycles. So when they see a rise, they think it will rise forever. When they see a crash, they think it will crash forever. Same thing.

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  42. Headline for Dec. 20, AD 12,571:
    "Detroit Buried Under 3,000 Feet of Solid Ice; Property Values Increase"

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  43. OT: I have to throw this out there because it's funny. In line with humanity getting stupider as a result of conspiracy theories and rumor mongering, here's a classic.

    Apparently, the moronic citizens of Alaska have been in a panic about Russian mobsters stealing children... because Alaska is what most people think of when they want children. //rolls eyes

    Anyways, it turns out to have been an Estonia salesman going door to door selling educational materials... educational materials that are clearly desperately needed.

    Here's the link: Idiots.

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  44. regarding "alleged". I don't have a problem with alleged perps caught on camera committing robbery. My problem is with the 'alleged robbery' caught on camera. Either it is a robbery or it is not.

    Once again reality rears its ugly head and Libs are left crying.

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  45. darski, I agree. That is beyond silly. I saw an article on the AP the other day that actually talked about the "alleged terrorist bombing in Boston." Huh?

    No one disputes that a bomb went off or that it was a terrorist act. Heck, the guy has taken credit for it... at that point, there is no doubt. But even if there was doubt about his guilt, the terrorist bombing was a fact -- not an alleged fact.

    That's simply stupidity by the author. Maybe they should have pointed out that Boston is only allegedly a city without additional proof.

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  46. Thanks Kit!

    Andrew, Boston is definitely a city; I've been there. Perhaps we could say instead that Boston is populated by alleged human beings.

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  47. Andrew! I believe you've maligned the citizens of both Russia and Alaska quite egregiously. I'm nearly sure the interchange went down like this:

    FADE IN: Door bell sounds. Footsteps. Door creak.

    HOMEOWNER: "Yes?"

    EVIL RUSSIAN KIDNAPPER OR POSSIBLY ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN: "You seek answers, yes?"

    HOMEOWNER: "...."

    EVIL RUSSIAN KIDNAPPER OR POSSIBLY ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN: "Your children, they seek answers, yes?"

    HOMEOWNER: "...umm?"

    EVIL RUSSIAN KIDNAPPER OR POSSIBLY ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN, ENTHUSIASTICALLY: "VEE HAVE THEM!!! You must allow us to us to take your children into our world of experience."

    HOMEOWNER: "...Leave. Now."

    EVIL RUSSIAN KIDNAPPER OR POSSIBLY ENCYCLOPEDIA SALESMAN, GROWLING: "If you do not buy this particular set of Encyclopedias Britannica, I may have to: Press. This. Reset. Button."

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  48. wahsatchmo, Could be. I tend to think it was more that some liquored up idiot thought they saw a Russian and just assumed they had to be child-stealing kidnappers... because what else would they be? So they went on Twitter and Facebook and spread the word to other idiots. Soon it was a veritable fountain of idiocy run amok... performance art of a sort.

    That's usually how these things go.

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  49. Bev.....I don't think we noted one of the absolutely worst examples of the use of words to obfuscate the reality of what everyone saw in front of them.........wait for it..........

    Islamic Terrorism = Workplace Violence

    Shows you the impact that naming something has on its victims. i.e., no Purple Hearts for the victims.

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