● You’re Soooo Brave!: I’ve been watching sports. Because of this, I’ve been subjected to ads for someone called Colin Cowerd, who does a sports show. He advertises using the same pathetic crap all these talker do... he tells us how brave he is to spout his opinion and how he will never back down in the face of non-existent pressure.
How in the world can it be heroic to spout an uninformed opinion in a land where you face no danger from doing so... in an industry where the more ignorant and strident you sound the better... to an audience that is too stupid to know better. You know what? I am heroic for shopping at Target the other day... and I will never back down on what I bought!! All glory to me!
//*sshole
● No More!: Dear Daily Mail... stop giving us articles about the Kardashians. Seriously, my eyeballs don’t even need to see the headlines anymore. And stop telling me what Bruce Jenner is wearing. WTF? He was hideous as a man and he looks like a corpse as a woman. I don’t want to see him and I certainly don’t care what he’s wearing.
● Ugly: Have you ever noticed that so many models are ugly?
● F-You Whiners: There are now people trying to destroy high school football because seven kids have died playing the game this year. This is actually a typical number. The problem is that the morons whining about this have no ability to use reason. They see seven dead kids and they think “why won’t somebody do something!” A number have demanded that the NFL do something, even though the NFL has nothing to do with this... this is Board of Education matter. Others have whined that the game is too dangerous, even though most of these kids have died from things other than hits. Some have whined that it’s the lack of qualified medical staffs at games that have caused this without even asking first if there were medical staffs at the site of any of the death (hint: there were).
This is very typical of liberals and idiots... but I repeat myself. They see a problem because they see a group of things they don’t like. They never ask if the statistics bear out that there is a problem or if this is just a random thing. They immediately reach into their bag of “things they want to blame” without ever figuring out if any of those were even implicated. And then they look for someone with deep pockets to blame for not having fixed this horrible problem already even though they themselves only just noticed it.
//*ssholes
● So Much For The Media: When did pranks and emails posted on Facebook and notes left on windshields and crap that went viral become news?
● Call In The Clowns: Trump is done. He’s run out of things to attack and his popularity never went beyond the fringe base. He’s gotten boring. Yaaawn.
Bernie Sanders is done. Well, he was always done, but people are starting to notice. When Biden refused to run, his decision essentially told the Democrats that Hillary had won, so they are now lining up behind her. She could still lose to a new candidate, but not to the ones in the race.
I’m thinking Bush has killed himself. It’s not certain yet, but Bush’s strategy of pretend to be a tree (dare I say a bush) as everyone else takes each other out has left the impression that he’s as bland as a bologna sandwich and, more importantly, cannot win over the public. The ball shifts to Rubio.
Did Carly Fiorina go on vacation? She seems to have disappeared, leaving the vice presidency open to Ben Carson.
Personally, I think we should put them all in a blender and run it until... well, until we need new candidates. :)
Thoughts?
"Marty, 2015 is weird, Bruce Jenner has boobs..."
ReplyDeleteIt is an odd world in 2015, my friend.
ReplyDeleteI'm reminded of a classic piece from The Onion: Somebody Should Do Something About All the Problems
ReplyDeleteThe article used to have a photo of a white-haired old lady as the "contributor" but the link seems to have broken. Funny, liberals sound like a bunch of white-haired old ladies.
tryanmax, That's exactly what it is! OMG this must be a problem because it seems like a problem! WHY WON'T ANYBODY SOLVE THIS PROBLEM SOMEHOW!!
ReplyDeleteI always wish I could throw back at people like that, you noticed it... you fix it. Don't cha care?
It's funny to me how stupid these people are. They never bother to figure out if it really is a problem. They never bother to look at what really might be the cause. (Heat stroke and dehydration are the biggest causes.) They never offer valid solutions. They just whine and point fingers and demand that somebody fix it. And of course, they ignore all the other more pressing problems because they are only capable of one outrage at a time.
You're not heroic for shopping at Target. I'm heroic for having worked there in high school! Seriously, I worked there for 3 and a half years - still the longest job I've had.
ReplyDeleteActually, I was gonna say you'd be a hero for shopping in certain Wal-Marts from the photos I've seen. :-)
The Kardashians... if it were just one publication, we'd be lucky. But it's not and they're everywhere and that juggernaut shows no sign of stopping. As for Bruce/Caitlyn... on one hand, I don't get it at all but I won't default to insults either. All I'll say is... [sigh] it takes all kinds, I guess.
Agreed about your blender comment. I was kinda hoping Bush would do better, not because I'm a big fan, but because he's the one that at least appears to be the most sane. Or the least crazy.
P.S. I sent you an e-mail the other day. As usual, it's nothing important!
1. I pray that the whole Kardashian juggernaut ends soon. I actually think they may have finally crossed the line into complete degradation with the whole Odom-drug-fueled coma/not coma obviously making money off a major tragedy debacle. I think they have proved who they really are and exactly what they are willing to do for money...anything including kill someone on the air - tide is changing and humanity is fast moving on...
ReplyDelete2. Models - I am actually hopeful about the modeling profession these days. Many are finally ditching the emaciated/holocaust victim thin models for more real-life body types. Even "plus-size" men are being signed on. And by "plus-size" men, I mean regular guys without washboard abs and rippling muscles.
Scott, I am heroic for shopping at Target and I won't back down no matter what my critics say. I'm telling the TRUTH that no one else will tell. Me tough!! //pounds chest.
ReplyDeleteOn Jenner and the Kardashians, it may take all kinds, but that doesn't mean I need to hear about it over and over and over and over and over and over and over. Talk about beating a dead whore, er, horse.
I say we give the blender a chance! :)
Keep ranting like this and you'll be back writing for BH in no time.
ReplyDeleteI hate to break it to you but the Kardashians are only figments of our collective imagination. If we all forgot about them they would disintegrate into space dust and float away. Just typing the name gives them life.
There seems to be little going on in the GOP race lately. I agree that Trump seems to be burning out. Having to give PAC money back because he doesn't accept it wasn't good press. Bush recently cut his staff in half; generally this is not a good sign. There is another debate on Wednesday in Boulder, CO of all places. I suspect a few more will drop out after. Money is getting tight for them.
re Khardashians, I would rather hear about Taylor Swift's latest boyfriend.
ReplyDeleteBev, I hope so. I am beyond the point of over-saturated with the whole family. I'm serious hoping ISIS hits wherever they live. Agreed on Odom. I think it shows just how messed up the whole clan is.
ReplyDeleteI hope you're right about the models. I find the whole idea strange in the first place. Pick "models" who look nothing like normal people and parade them in front of everyone else as something everyone else is supposed to be? Huh? Personally, I can't stand the whole holocaust victim look. It makes me cringe. And I also find lately that they've been picking some truly ugly people (e.g. Cara Delving???) for shock value. I get the sense the industry is trying to mock women.
Kit, You will... once her next song comes up.
ReplyDeleteKoshcat, It's the occasional venting of steam that keeps me from ending up back in places like BH! ;-)
ReplyDeleteI should have known the those-who-shall-not-be-named weren't real! They don't seem like real humans to me. Must be an alien experiment like in the Twilight Zone episode "The monsters are due on Maple Street." "Watch this Klatu as I issue another sex tape. See how the humans begin to wretch." "Nicely done Grauch! I will poison the basketball player now. See how hopelessness spreads across the herd! Conquering them will be easy! Start cloning Jenner for the invasion!" Ahhhhhhh!!
I saw that about Bush. That is a really bad sign for him. I also think we're going to see more of them start to drop out. There's really no point for most of them to stay in at this point.
Sorry, Andrew. But I'm with Scott on this one. You see, as a fellow member of the Loyal Order of Former Bullseye Employees, I know there's not too much hassle involved with putting on the red and khaki. Everything's clean, the aisles are wider than anywhere else, and, damn, the seasonal stuff is well set up. Shopping at Target is about as dangerous as walking the streets of Pittsburgh on Light-Up Night. On the other hand...
ReplyDeleteIf you had gone into into the quagmire of Walmart, or the deepest, darkest regions of Trader Joe's, then you'd have something to brag about! Heck, if you'd trekked through KMart (or Super K, if you prefer)- also known as the Land of the Depressed, the Angry-at-Everything, and Those Who Have Just Given Up on Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of, well, Anything- then you'd have a tale that would leave even fishermen speechless.It would be the equivalent of walking alone in Washington, D.C. along the trails a few blocks from the National Mall.
About the only way I can see shopping at Target as hazardous would involve going back to the store's birthplace in Minnesota, waiting for a blizzard (every 20 minutes in January), and then trying to beat the snowplows to the store while driving a Prius with nothing to keep you company but recordings of Jesse Ventura and Al Franken's favorite speeches.. Now, THEN you would a story of survival!
Rustbelt, That's my point exactly. These radio talkers act like they are braving public stonings or governmental execution to spout rather conventional opinions in an angry tone. It's about as risky as shopping at Target. (Which I'm a fan of, btw.) It drives me nuts that people buy into this sale pitch!
ReplyDeleteEven worse, this particular guy is just spouting his opinions about sports. I swear, I would love to gather some friends, put us all in black suits and sunglasses and invade his studies with guns drawn. Tell him that we're from the Sports Protection Agency and accuse him of violating US Code for praising the Cub's pitching and then drag him out into the street, put him on his knees, and make like I'm going to shoot him. Then we'll make an ad of captain brave wetting himself.
What? Too much?
So what do five years in the McTrenches get me?
ReplyDeletetryamax, I believe you get coronary artery disease by osmosis.
ReplyDeleteBTW, this is interesting. One of the fringe right crazies I follow has overnight switched from fringe right to fringe left after his disgust with the Republicans. Here are some samples...
ReplyDeleteI have embraced the reality that all human beings are fucked up. But I just love sex scandals from "family values" Republicans.
Seen today on a rightwing tea-publican weblog. When "their side" has nothing of substance to offer, and they known it, posters such as the one below become popular. Such posters are considered intellectual by the teabag folks on the right. To be balanced such posters do find their way onto left-wing weblogs. The difference? Posters on left-wing sights generally carry a valid message and the commentary factually supports the message of the post.
I'm telling you, these people were happy on the far left until they saw an opportunity to gain influence through the Tea Party. Now that the dream is over, they are drifting left again.
Sorry, Andrew. I guess I mis-read the post. I just meant it as a joke. After all, that last part is less survival story and more B-grade horror movie. (No worries about it getting made, though. I doubt anyone in Hollywood today would understand the source of the horror.)
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I agree completely about Coward. (I prefer that spelling of his name.) As I've said before, he's the poor man's Skip Bayless. When the you're the cheap version of a troll who exists only to antagonize viewers, you are a cheap piece of shit indeed. Coward headed the B-Team on ESPN2 for a few years and it was plain to see why he was a second banana to the real jagoffs.
I could go on describing Coward as one of those types who confuses opinionization for strength of character (and benefits from producers who confuse arrogance for intelligence), sees pissing people off as vindication that he's smarter than you, and is basically a Sheldon Cooper of the sports world.
In short, he's that nose-in-the-air brownie from high school who was always quick to remind you that you should've been worshipping him- while you decided which letterman from the football team to slip a twenty to in exchange for said letterman repeatedly dunking the ass's head in a toilet, putting in some kidney shots, and then locking him in a locker before dumping the locker in a pit of wet cement.
I guess long story short is...I don't like Coward. Didn't mean to rant there. It only shows the depths to which FS1 has gone in its attempts to be an ESPN clone that it would hire him. "Well, ESPN employed him. He must be good!" Next year: the Olberman Hour on Fox Sports 1. Weeknights at 11.