Black Lives Manifesto

With Bev down for the count, I offer this. Last week, Black Lies Matter came out with a platform. It reads like a manifesto written by criminals demanding the right to rape and plunder as they see fit without consequence while every leftist pet peeve gets tossed in for no apparent reasons... with the word black in them so they become relevant. Wow.

As an aside, I’m not going to address the whole thing. It’s broken into six areas with a total of 38 points, each of which covers multiple areas and a lot of which is repetitive. That’s too much to bother with. I will hit the highlights though.

1. “An end to the criminalization and dehumanization of Black [sic] youth.” They want the education system, social services, the media and pop culture to stop dehumanizing black youths. Hmm. Aren’t those all organizations run by liberals? Anyways, they want an end to school discipline and the removal of the cops. How about we counter with banning the word “nigga” from rap songs?

2. An end to capital punishment. No. You can avoid this one yourselves by not brutally killing anyone.

3. An end to the use of past criminal records for any purpose. Damn straight! Why should a day care center be allowed to know that someone used to rape kids? Agreed!

4. “An end to the war on Black [sic] immigrants.” No more deportations. Yeah, I’m cool with this. I think we should flood the country with Mexicans to take black jobs.

5. “An end to the war on Black [sic] trans, queer and gender nonconforming people.” I’m not sure what war this is, but I agree not to napalm any gay black clubs.

6. An end to “mass surveillance of Black [sic] communities.” They want to ban drones and body cameras. Told you they don’t like those... they prove the cops are in the right.

7. “Until we achieve a world where cages are no longer used against our people we demand an immediate change in conditions and an end to public jails, detention centers, youth facilities and prisons as we know them.” Fine, we’ll dump you on Devil’s Island and you can run free.

8. “Reparations for the systemic denial of access to high quality educational opportunities in the form of full and free access for all Black [sic] people... to lifetime education.” This is an odd one since most inner city and rural schools in black areas are staffed entirely by blacks and since so many blacks go to historically black colleges. Maybe they should pay this?

9. “Guaranteed minimum livable income for Black people.” Yeah, we should make black people more expensive to hire than other people. Good thinking.

10. Reparations for “environmental racism, slavery, food apartheid, housing discrimination and racialized capitalism.” They want those reparations to “focus[] on healing ongoing physical and mental trauma, and ensuring our access and control of food sources.” Black-only grocery stores? Odd. Anyways, you can have reparations and we’ll tax them at 100% to do the other stuff we’re agreeing to.

11. “Reparations for the cultural and educational exploitation, erasure and extraction of our communities.” Basically, they want everyone to have to watch Roots.

12. An affirmative action plan to address the “lasting impacts of slavery.” Fine, every former slave can get a “plus” when they apply at WalMart.

13. Reallocation of funds from the police to employment services. Yeah, who needs cops.

14. Decriminalization of drug and prostitution crimes... which devastate minority communities.

15. Universal health care with specific “culturally competent” services for gay blacks. Good luck figuring that one out.

16. Free daycare, abortion, health care, freedom from search, seizure and arrest. Kind of a catchall, I guess.

17. An end to fossil fuel use. Science is clearly not their strong suit.

18. Reallocation of military spending to community well-being. Good luck with that.

19. A progressive tax code “to ensure a radical and sustainable redistribution of wealth.” Progressive and sustainable are contradictory ideas.

20. A jobs program for black people. This is called affirmative action and already exists.

21. The right to have a union. Should probably remove this as it already exists.

22. A right to environmental regulation. Anything in particular?

23. Break up the banks!

24. End the Trans-Pacific Partnership and renegotiate all trade agreements. Hey, I read about that in the news.

25. Tax incentives to “facilitate trade across and in Black[sic] communities globally.” Yes, there should be a black market. Oh my.

26. Cheap loans for blacks. Like subprime lending?

27. Regulate industries that aren’t regulated to protect Black women and incarcerated people. Screw the rest of you.

28. An end to private schools. Like Historically Black Colleges?

29. Release of all black “political prisoners and an end to the repression of political parties.” Name one.

30. Ban PACs and corporate giving.

31. Universal, automatic registration of voters starting at 16 years old. What, no mention of the age of consent?

32. Net neutrality.

33. Free money for “Historically Black Colleges and Universities, Black media and cultural, political and social formations.” Social formations? Like the Black Octagon or the Black Flying Wedge?

Wow. Such crap. Such hateful, paranoid, racist crap. Thoughts?