The left and the media, but I repeat myself, continue to make fools of themselves over this Iran thing. Some thoughts.
● First, the left continues hyperventilating over Iran. From hand-wringing about a non-existent return to the draft (as if the military wants fat, doped up snowflakes) to mourning the death of a terrorist to ignoring the Hitlerian traits of the Iranian regime to trying to cram all their pet peeves into their imagined apocalyptic war to come ("this war will cause the wage gap to increase!"), the left is in full tantrum.
Or are they?
Have you ever noticed that the left squeals whenever some conservative doesn't stop their lives to pay homage to some disaster or "injustice" or whatnot that the left thinks is of such importance that all must become somber about it? "How dare Donald Trump golf when a single person is dying in _____!" "How dare Ivanka post a happy picture of her family when Mexican children are being housed and fed by a US agency on the border!" "How dare the NRA exist when someone shot someone else!" That sort of thing. Well, despite this apocalyptic war, the left seems to be going about their lives quite happily. They had a big awards show for Hollywood (lots of private jets, drugs and weaponized smug). Celebrities are posting pictures of their winter getaways from all over the world ("just had to fly to Thailand to drink sustainable fruit juice"). The sexy little girls of #metoo are crocodile tearing it up at the Harvey Weinstein trial ("He didn't give me the career he promised when I threw myself at him!"). Michelle Williams is talking (again) about abortion for the first time. We're all worried about who went home with whom and which celebrity took off her shirt for attention (hint: it's usually Emily Ratasomethingski) or whether Bebe Rexha is too fat for designers to offer her free designer clothes. Democratic donors are filling wine caves.
How dare they enjoy themselves when the world is at war!
● I was sure last night that the conspiracy theorists would start whinnying about the Ukrainian passenger jet that crashed in Iran. No doubt, Donald Trump had it shot down to win re-election... or aliens. But then a strange thing happened. The Iranians (who actually probably shot it down by mistake) swore on a stack of Korans that it crashed because of mechanical failure (i.e. missile parts got stuck in the engine), and the media decided that Iran would never lie so they accepted that as gospel and are all but ignoring it like a shooting at a white church. Move along, nothing to see here. It's interesting how they accept the word of a regime that swears genocide against theJews conservative oppressors and oppresses it's own people operates happiness camps, but doubt every utterance of our country.
● Iran's counter attack has Petered out. A few failed cyber hackings and some dud missile strikes that killed no one except Iranian pride proved pretty disappointing to the Democrats. They're encouraging them to try again today.
● I like how Iran had to warn us "you better not retaliate for our missile attacks." Yeah, ok.
● You know, speaking of Iranian terrorism, I've always heard (for decades) that Iran, unlike other third-world shitholes, has a highly developed intelligence network of spies and saboteurs all over the world who are ready to strike at vital targets all over the globe to spread chaos. They've even been blamed for things like killings in Britain and bombings ofJewish oppressor centers in South America. So, uh, where are they? Myth?
● As an aside, I find it bizarre how bad so many terrorists are at terrorism. If I wanted to be a terrorist, I could cause chaos and death on a pretty massive scale and all for under a $100 a day. So why can't regimes who have whole departments that plan terrorism do squat and need millions of dollars to make it happen? I guess it's a good thing that criminals are dumb and terrorists are full-blown retards.
● The Europeans and Iraqis are upset at us for killing Gen. Salami. "Hey, we were kowtowing to that guy! How dare you kill him. Now we need to find someone else to kowtow to! Wahhhh!" Don't worry, boys, there are lots of Iranians who will get off on slapping you around. And if you can't find one of those, you could submit to the Chinese like our leftist do... looking at you Lebron James, or you could always fellate Putin. He's always up for that. No pun intended.
● For the record, not a single Democrat or Hollywooder has moved to Iran to show their sympathy.
● First, the left continues hyperventilating over Iran. From hand-wringing about a non-existent return to the draft (as if the military wants fat, doped up snowflakes) to mourning the death of a terrorist to ignoring the Hitlerian traits of the Iranian regime to trying to cram all their pet peeves into their imagined apocalyptic war to come ("this war will cause the wage gap to increase!"), the left is in full tantrum.
Or are they?
Have you ever noticed that the left squeals whenever some conservative doesn't stop their lives to pay homage to some disaster or "injustice" or whatnot that the left thinks is of such importance that all must become somber about it? "How dare Donald Trump golf when a single person is dying in _____!" "How dare Ivanka post a happy picture of her family when Mexican children are being housed and fed by a US agency on the border!" "How dare the NRA exist when someone shot someone else!" That sort of thing. Well, despite this apocalyptic war, the left seems to be going about their lives quite happily. They had a big awards show for Hollywood (lots of private jets, drugs and weaponized smug). Celebrities are posting pictures of their winter getaways from all over the world ("just had to fly to Thailand to drink sustainable fruit juice"). The sexy little girls of #metoo are crocodile tearing it up at the Harvey Weinstein trial ("He didn't give me the career he promised when I threw myself at him!"). Michelle Williams is talking (again) about abortion for the first time. We're all worried about who went home with whom and which celebrity took off her shirt for attention (hint: it's usually Emily Ratasomethingski) or whether Bebe Rexha is too fat for designers to offer her free designer clothes. Democratic donors are filling wine caves.
How dare they enjoy themselves when the world is at war!
● I was sure last night that the conspiracy theorists would start whinnying about the Ukrainian passenger jet that crashed in Iran. No doubt, Donald Trump had it shot down to win re-election... or aliens. But then a strange thing happened. The Iranians (who actually probably shot it down by mistake) swore on a stack of Korans that it crashed because of mechanical failure (i.e. missile parts got stuck in the engine), and the media decided that Iran would never lie so they accepted that as gospel and are all but ignoring it like a shooting at a white church. Move along, nothing to see here. It's interesting how they accept the word of a regime that swears genocide against the
● Iran's counter attack has Petered out. A few failed cyber hackings and some dud missile strikes that killed no one except Iranian pride proved pretty disappointing to the Democrats. They're encouraging them to try again today.
● I like how Iran had to warn us "you better not retaliate for our missile attacks." Yeah, ok.
● You know, speaking of Iranian terrorism, I've always heard (for decades) that Iran, unlike other third-world shitholes, has a highly developed intelligence network of spies and saboteurs all over the world who are ready to strike at vital targets all over the globe to spread chaos. They've even been blamed for things like killings in Britain and bombings of
● As an aside, I find it bizarre how bad so many terrorists are at terrorism. If I wanted to be a terrorist, I could cause chaos and death on a pretty massive scale and all for under a $100 a day. So why can't regimes who have whole departments that plan terrorism do squat and need millions of dollars to make it happen? I guess it's a good thing that criminals are dumb and terrorists are full-blown retards.
● The Europeans and Iraqis are upset at us for killing Gen. Salami. "Hey, we were kowtowing to that guy! How dare you kill him. Now we need to find someone else to kowtow to! Wahhhh!" Don't worry, boys, there are lots of Iranians who will get off on slapping you around. And if you can't find one of those, you could submit to the Chinese like our leftist do... looking at you Lebron James, or you could always fellate Putin. He's always up for that. No pun intended.
● For the record, not a single Democrat or Hollywooder has moved to Iran to show their sympathy.
So European and American intelligence agencies are claiming that Iran deliberately missed when it fired its missiles because they were worried about provoking Trump.
ReplyDeleteIf true, that proves Trump right and everyone on the left and the anti-Trump "right" incorrect.
Andrew, hilarious article! I laughed at least once per paragraph. I am very disappointed in the lack of solidarity for Iran from Hollywood. Maybe there's just not enough beachfront property in Iran to make it worth moving there. (But isn't a desert just a beach without an ocean?) Oh well.
ReplyDeleteI read the same thing about the latest Iran missile strike. I saw some areal photos that lend credence to the claim, as well. See for yourself if you agree: https://www.npr.org/2020/01/08/794517031/satellite-photos-reveal-extent-of-damage-at-al-assad-air-base
1) Like I said last week in terms of it's conventional forces Iran is in roughly the same ballpark as Iraq so I don't think an all out war would last long or be very bloody for us initially. An occupation would be a much bloodier affair than other recent occupations because of Iran's stronger tradition of suicide attacks.
ReplyDelete2) So the missiles with thousand pound warheads fired directly at bases housing Americans were meant to do no harm according to unidentified sources? Someone ought to pass that intel on to the American military. They are all confused on the matter!
https://www.foxnews.com/world/iran-missile-attack-iraq-intended-kill-pentagon
Pentagon officials believe that the more than a dozen missiles launched at two bases in Iraq housing U.S. forces Tuesday night were designed to kill Americans, but the Iranian efforts were thwarted by the military's Early Warning Systems, Defense Secretary Mark Esper and Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters on Wednesday.
3) The lack of damage is fortunate for both sides since it makes it politically easier for Trump to ignore an open attempt to kill Americans troops by a nation state (not something one sees very often).
4) Iran works with a bunch of militias and whatnot but I'd be surprised if they had a network of Jason Bourne style sleeper agents willing to kill hundreds or thousands once they got the order.
5) Iran ought to send Trump a bunch of flowers and tell him how smart and handsome he is. If Russia, North Korea and Saudi Arabia teach us anything it's that much can be ignored or forgiven if one scratches Trump behind the ears the right way.
6) This far all the violence between the U.S. And Iran has happened in Iraq so it's unsurprising they are upset about it.
7) Doubting the intentions of the president is just the way the game is played nowadays. No one knows that better than Trump.
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2020/01/03/politics/kfile-trump-obama-2012-iran-war-reelection/index.html?__twitter_impression=true
Trump routinely asserted that Obama would force a confrontation to boost his domestic prospects.
"Our President will start a war with Iran because he has absolutely no ability to negotiate," Trump said in a November 2011 video on his YouTube channel.
8) As long as American bloodshed is minimal the majority of the public (but not the opposition) will go along with a president's foreign policy choices because most understand that it's a fantasy that a president smart enough or tough enough or charming enough could bring about nirvana.
Sounds like the Joint Chiefs Chairman is off-message. Unless he's not. Remember what I said before about how to keep the press guessing.
ReplyDelete