More Bidenisms: A Joe Biden Kind of Day

It’s been a Biden kind of day. In fact, it’s been such a Biden kind of day that even the MSM has noticed. What has Biden done this time? Well, two things, and one has earned him to descriptor “creepy.”

Biden’s first Biden-like act involves Mr. Biden showing his racist side one again. Recall that in the past, Biden has told us “You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking,” spoken of “typical whites” who have been “bred by experience” to be racist about minorities, told us that Iowa schools are better than DC schools because there are fewer blacks in Iowa, and described Obama as the “first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” So he has experience saying racially inflammatory comments. But then, “he’s just Joe,” so the left lets his racism slide.

This time, during a White House anti-extremism summit, Biden started talking about Somali cab drivers. He said this:

“I might add, if you ever come to the train station you may notice that I have great relations with them, because an awful lot of them are driving cabs, and are friends of mine.”

Apparently, the audience of Muslim community leaders of African descent responded with muted, uncomfortable chuckles.

Not satisfied with just a bit of racism, Biden then turned to creepy sexual behavior. As you might recall, Joe’s wife has a doctorate degree, which he describes as “a problem,” though his “wife Jill is drop dead gorgeous” and he would “rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep.” Well, apparently, Joe has eyes for more than his wife. Note the photo below.

This is Joe lecherously putting his hands all over Stephanie Carter, the wife of Ash Carter, the new Defense Secretary. Even the MSM has dubbed this creepy. Personally, it just looks like Biden as normal to me.

Thoughts?

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Stuff We Didn't Need To Know...

There is just some stuff we do not need to know. Like when that friend from high school who you haven't seen or spoken to in 30+ years posts keeps posting photos of what they eat every single meal. [And what is even more ridiculous are the "friends" who post comments about it!] Or maybe the endless "as it's happening" vacation photos. Yes, we get it, you are in Hawaii eating poi at luau! How do people have any time to have any fun if they are always posting how much fun they are having?

But this...this is something so horrifying that we just didn't need to know and shouldn't have to know! Please tell me why, why, why did we need to know that Vice President Joe Biden likes to swim in the nude a lot. I just never needed to know that and now I will never be able to forget it. When I read about his motorcade crashing into some poor innocent bystander I will now wonder "Did Joe have his pants on?" Or if he is hosting some foreign dignitary by the pool, will he remember Angela Merkel probably doesn't need to see that he really isn't wearing a wire? There isn't enough brain bleach or vodka in the world that can ever erase this image from my brain. And because misery loves company I am sharing this photo of Ol' Joe in his altogethers so that I am not alone...

Okay, it's photoshopped...I think, but...Hah...now it's in your head too!

As always feel free to change the subject...to just about anything so I can stop thinking about Joe Biden...

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Caption This - Biden In China

I don't know about you, but I haven't been so nervous about US-China relations since Nixon went to China in 1972. No, really, I mean it. Biden could say anything or do something Biden-ish and, well, things could happen.

Like this:

Dear Lord, what was he doing? No, really, what was he doing? I am as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. So, what is better to calm the nerves than poking a little fun at our leaders, right? So....{{{{drum roll, please}}}}}...Caption this!

At least he holstered the Biden finger guns...

Do your stuff or change the subject.

Oh, and if you just don't want to think about Biden in China, here's something else to ponder:

Pizza is round, comes in a square box, and is cut into triangles.

Is that a random confluence of geometry or by design?

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I'm Not Second Guessing Your Repugnance!

Slow Joe is at it again. Last time he was calling Tea Party supporters terrorists. Before that he was calling women lacrosse players “gazelles” and complaining that “the wrong people end up collecting the women” in the financial crisis. Now he's praising China’s “repugnant” forced abortion policy.



Starting in the 1970s, China introduced a policy that limits families to one child per couple. This includes criminal sentences and forced abortions for parents who violate the policy. Ostensibly, this was done because China was facing an over population problem -- although China’s population was actually declining at the time the policy was put into place.



As an interesting consequence of this policy, China is now facing two of the world’s most extreme demographic problems. First, the elimination of several generations of young has left China with the world’s worst retirement problem, as China’s elderly population far outweighs its productive population (4 retirees per worker) -- this is much worse than in the United States (3 workers per retiree). Secondly, because the Chinese prefer boys over girls, this meant that mostly girls were aborted or killed as infants. Thus, China is about to face the problem that there are 40 million more eligible bachelors than there are wives. To get a sense of how large this problem is, consider that this is the same number of marrying age males in Britain, France and Germany combined. It is also the entire population of California.



China’s single-child policy is largely responsible for both of these problems and there is serious pressure to end the policy. Even China’s official press is questioning the policy, which is highly unusual. Moreover, last month, one entire province demanded a waiver of the policy. It seems that the policy will soon end.



So what does this have to do with us?



American liberals were initially big fans of China’s one-child policy. Why? Well, the 1970s was the age of the next Global Ice Age, the Population Bomb, and fantasies of global famine. We were all going to starve by 1992. And let’s face it, liberals have always loved Eugenics.



But at some point, most liberals realized that forced abortion was not a very defensible thing. So they decided that China’s policy was not something they could publicly praise, even though many continue to support it in private. Indeed, even now, you will occasionally find liberals who openly defend the policy. For example, there was a laughable AP article last month that claimed that girls had it better under the one-child policy than they did before. Of course, that’s only the girls who aren’t killed as children or fetuses and aren’t imprisoned or forced to abort their own children. Moreover, the article failed to grasp that economically, the whole premise of its argument was crap. But hey, these are liberals, what do you expect?



Enter Slow Joe Biden.



Biden is in China for reasons unknown, possibly to get him out of town until the election or maybe as collateral for our bonds or maybe he just got lost on his way to see Santa? And let me tell you, the Chinese are not pleased. They have already had to cut off one of his speeches because it was too idiotic to be translated. Then they asked him what he thought about China’s one-child policy. Here is what Joe said:

“The Obama administration strongly opposes all aspects of China's coercive birth limitation policies, including forced abortion and sterilization. The vice president believes such practices are repugnant. He also pointed out, in China, that the policy is, as a practical matter, unsustainable. He was arguing against the one child policy to a Chinese audience.”

Oops, sorry, that’s what Biden’s spokeswoman Kendra Barkoff said (and no, I did not make that name up). Here’s what Biden actually said:

“Your policy has been one which I fully understand--I'm not second-guessing--of one child per family.”

Feel free to compare the quotes, you may find a slight discrepancy. Either Barkoff is lying or Biden is “not second-guessing” China’s “repugnant” policy. . . or both. Who keeps letting this idiot out of his rubber room? Seriously, if I were Obama, I would have Biden shot to the moon and then get Huntsman to run as my VP.



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This Is The Right Direction?

“There’s no doubt we're moving in the right direction."

-- Joey “The Brain” Biden

Yesterday, in an announcement that strains credulity, even for Joe Biden, lying Joe told us there is no doubt we’re moving in the right direction. But Obama didn’t retract that statement. So let’s take a quick look at what Obama apparently thinks is the direction we should be heading.

Team Obama has been touting a positive GDP for the year. But everyone is now lowering their estimate of GDP growth to 1.5% for the year, an anemic number, with more lowering to come. And in case you’re wondering, a positive number does not mean we’ve turned the corner. The Great Depression saw six quarterly bounces in GDP with an average gain of 8%, along with stock rallies to 50% of the pre-1930 levels. . . right where we are today.

Speaking of the stock market, from February 2009 until June 2010, small investors pulled $9 billion out of the stock market. The DOW is down 4% this month, a seven week low.

Bank failures continue to climb. Only 25 banks were closed during the credit crunch in 2008. Since that time, 140 banks failed in 2009 and 118 banks have failed so far this year -- on pace for 200+ this year.

Official unemployment remains at 9.5%, though real unemployment remains around 17%. Various government officials are now predicting that this is the new normal. Teenage unemployment and minority unemployment are at all time highs.

The Federal Reserve reports that factory activity slipped to negative levels in August, meaning economic contraction is coming, i.e. more recession.

Sales of existing homes fell to their lowest level in 15 years, and the drop in sales this last month is the biggest drop since record-keeping began in 1968.

Crude oil futures are down at an 11 week low, and that’s in the middle of the driving season.

Tax revenues continued to fall, this time by 11% from 2009.

Obama’s budget includes a $1.2 trillion deficit, supposedly a decrease from last year’s $1.42 trillion Obama deficit. But this doesn’t count the cost of Afghanistan and Iraq, which are kept off the budget, and it includes fake receipts like estimated receipts from the never-passed cap and trade bill. This $2.6 trillion Obama has added to the debt in his first two years, by the way, compares to the $11 trillion added to the debt in the 40 years since 1970.

China is selling U.S. dollar-denominated assets in anticipation of a collapse of the dollar, and in hopes of replacing the dollar with a new reserve currency. This would be disastrous for our cost of borrowing.

Speaking of China, they and Russia have rejected sanctions against Iran. Russia is now helping Iran finish its nuclear power plant. China is buying gas from Iran. Both have refused to agree to sanctions, even those that would forbid the selling of weapons to Iran. All of this, and Obama’s effete response to Iran, have made war all but inevitable.

Afghanistan is a disaster, with more reports coming out every day that it will never end and cannot end well. The latest involves a report that after nine years of training, Afghanistan’s army still will not be ready to take the field for at least another year.

Obama just flubbed the “worst environmental disaster in history” in the Gulf.

Almost two years into Obama’s term, the Democratic Senate still has not confirmed 118 of his nominees.


Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln? Is this seriously what Obama thinks is the direction the country should be headed? Apparently so. And this doesn’t count the significant hurdles about to come up. Either the Bush tax cuts will expire, destroying the economy, or they will be renewed, blowing the deficit even higher. The effects of ObamaCare have not yet begun to smack around the economy. Medicare is on the verge of collapsing. Our costs of borrowing are on the verge of going up. The EPA is about to regulate carbon, i.e. everything. When Israel bombs Iran, you can expect serious blow back to reach us, both in international condemnation and in increased terrorism. Not to mention that Obama’s nonactions toward Iran are getting countries like Saudi Arabia thinking about building their own atomic bombs. And so on. . . and so on.

If Joe has no doubt that we’re moving in the right direction, then Joe’s version of paradise looks a lot like hell. And if Obama didn’t realize he needed to shut Joe’s trap, then Obama’s a fool.

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The Weekly Bidenism

The Israeli/Palestinian issue is perhaps the most complex diplomatic issue the world has to offer. So why not send the world’s most complex thinker? Oh yes. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

Believe it or not, President Obama just announced that he is sending Slow Joe to Israel to “save” the failing Middle East Peace Process. Move over George Mitchell, make way for Slow Joe. And I mean that literally, considering Joe’s recent success in striking down pedestrians with his motorcade.

In fact, before we discuss the “merits” of handing this issue to Joe, let me extend this warning to my Jewish and Arab friends: get off the streets. Biden is coming! So far, in just one year, his motorcade has managed to scratch four pedestrians. He’s looking for five. He’s the Darth Vader of motorcaders! In fact, his motorcade has become such a sign of terror that they’re making a movie about it, they’re either calling it “Terror at 40 mph” or “The Cading.” Run!!!

Let’s get back to the issue. When you appoint someone to act as a negotiator, you typically look for someone who is considered impartial and who both sides can respect. That ain’t Joe.

Indeed, the Palestinians may wonder about Joe’s impartiality, as he famously said in 2007: “I am a Zionist. You don’t have to be a Jew to be a Zionist.” But hey, why should this be a problem for the Palestinians. Aren’t we all Zionists now. . . and Berliners? That doesn’t mean you aren’t impartial?

Of course, he also called Israel “the single greatest strength America has in the Middle East,” which kind of implies American ownership or at least partnership, so maybe. . . just maybe the Palestinians might not see him as entirely impartial? But then, his reasoning was a little strange, so maybe they’ll just write this off as typical Joeffoonery:

“Imagine our circumstance in the world were there no Israel. How many battleships would there be? How many troops would be stationed?”

Uh. . . what? Why would we be sending troops to protect the non-existing Israel? And what do battleships have to do with this? As you saying Israel keeps Arab navies from the high seas? Or are you calling Israel a proxy army for the United States? I think you might want to stop talking now Joe. How about just saying they’re the only legitimate democracy in the region and have been a good friend?

At least the Israelis will be happy to have him as a negotiator, right? I mean, heck, he told the Israeli’s that: “Israel’s decisions must be made in Jerusalem.” Thus, proving that he knows where Israel’s capitol is located. And he said, “Israel has the right to defend itself and it doesn't have to ask, just as any other free and independent country.” Good, Joe understands the concept of national sovereignty. Then he said that Israeli is “entitled” to launch a military strike against Iran:

“Israel can determine for itself -- it's a sovereign nation -- what's in their interest and what they decide to do relative to Iran and anyone else. Whether we agree or not. They're entitled to do that. Any sovereign nation is entitled to do that. . . . If the Netanyahu government decides to take a course of action different than the one being pursued now, that is their sovereign right to do that. That is not our choice.”

Whooops. That one didn’t play so well in the press, but the Israelis were thrilled when he said it, especially when he added that the United States will “always stand by Israel, without telling Israelis what they can and cannot do.” What’s not to like, right?

Well, Joe giveth, and Joe taketh away too, like when said:

“Israel will have to reconcile itself with the nuclearization of Iran.”

He also told them that they “must” stop building settlements, must dismantle existing outposts, must work toward a two state solution with the Palestinians, and must allow free movement of Palestinians. So we can’t tell Israel what to do, but they better accept the fact that we’re going to tell them what to do? Oh, and wash behind your ears before you go to bed.

Of course, on the nuclear issue, the Israelis might take comfort from the idea that Joe might be exaggerating about Iran going nuclear. Indeed, Joe recently said:

“[Iran’s] not a nuclear power. I can understand why Ahmadinejad would make that assertion to divert the world's attention from the abuse of the civil liberties and civil rights of the people of Iran. The progress that Iran has made on the nuclear front is greatly exaggerated in my view.”

Excellent, so there’s nothing to worry about? Except that the International Atomic Energy Agency, and everyone else, disagrees. But that’s Joe, always the maverick.

At least Joe and Obama have a plan. That should put the Israelis at ease. Joe says to give sanctions time. He even assures us that Obama “has” (read: “might soon have”) China on board with sanctions, and that will solve the crisis. Let’s just hope the Israelis didn’t hear Biden when he said:

“It’s doubtful if the economic sanctions will be effective, and I am against opening an additional military and diplomatic front.”

Is this really the best choice for a negotiator for the Middle East Peace Process? This is a region that lives on a knife’s edge with war possible at any moment for the slightest of slights. And into this combustible mix, Obama now throws Simple Joe? Perhaps we have more to fear than just his motorcade. . .

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The Weekly Bidenism

After last week's stunning claim that Bush’s surge in Iraq would be Obama’s greatest policy achievement, Joe felt ready for the big leagues. So he took on Dick Cheney, the boogey man. He lost. But in his defense, he was sabotaged by. . . himself. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

You may or may not have heard that Dick Cheney accused the Obama administration of not taking terrorism seriously. Cheney had some reasons, though no one apparently told Joe what they were, because Joe’s defense was summed by Joe as such:

“I just think he’s wrong. He thinks I’m wrong. I think he’s wrong.”

Now that is one compelling argument. It’s logical, it’s laid out so anyone can see that Joe is right, and oh! the command of facts! I must admit, I’m almost convinced. If only Joe could give me one more reason to think that Cheney might be wrong. . . perhaps impugning Cheney’s motives? Let’s ask Joe:

“I’ve never questioned another man’s motive.”

Oh come Joe, pretty please?

“I mean, it’s almost like he forgot he left us a $1.3 trillion debt. There were two wars going on, one that was ignored, one was -- wasn’t going all that well.”

Thanks Joe, I knew you could come up with a reason that Cheney must be lying, he must be trying to cover up that horrible Bush record. . . wait a minute. What’s this about a $1.3 trillion debt? The debt under Bush was $9.9 trillion, the deficit was $200 billion. I wonder what Joe could be talking about? Maybe Joe was just angry when he said this -- Joe has admitted that, kind of like the Green Hulk, he exaggerates when he gets angry.

Oh wait, I know! He’s talking about the $1.3 trillion deficit (not debt) that Obama racked up last year (or maybe he means the $1.6 trillion deficit he’s planning for this year -- you never know with Joe)! So if a $1.3 trillion deficit discredits a man, then Joe has just discredited Obama. Nice Joe, truth suits you. . . you should try it more often.

And what’s this about one war being ignored and the other not going so well? Didn’t you tell us last week that Obama’s biggest achievement was Bush’s 2007 surge? How could Iraq not be going well? As for ignoring Afghanistan, I seem to recall one simple Senator from Delaware swearing that a surge wouldn’t work in Afghanistan. . . of course, that was before Obama implemented an Afghan surge.

But it wasn’t just Biden’s blasting of Obama/Cheney that caught my attention last week, no, no, no, no. What I found truly interesting was Joe’s attempt to assure us that Obama has made the country safe from terrorism. Let’s listen to Joe, as he soothes our fears:

“We have made more progress in dismantling the hierarchy of Al-Qaeda central [nah nah nah, we killed more bad guys than you did]. . . and evidence of that is, now they’re going to lone bombers as the means to get there [you mean like the suicide bombers they’ve used in every attack other than 9/11?]. … I'm more worried about, and harder to detect, and I'm very concerned about a terrorist attack in the United States along the lines of the 'Christmas Day bomber.' You get a disgruntled student, someone who has some relationship with the United States who is -- able to be recruited quickly, able to be indoctrinated quickly. And they say, basically, 'Here's a bomb. Go do it,' as opposed to the kind of planning that's needed to pull off -- a very complicated 9/11. Am I less worried about an attack? No, I'm worried. Am I less worried about a catastrophic event? Yes.”

Because planes blowing up is not a “catastrophic event” unless there are several at once? And did Joe just say that by succeeding against Al Qaeda, Team Obama has made them more dangerous? And is it really smart for Joe to assure us that this administration is on top of the terror issue by telling us how worried he is about this “new” (read: ancient) threat of single bombers? Maybe we should avoid planes and other public transport, just as he suggested during the swine flu faux-crisis:

"I wouldn't go anywhere in confined places now… When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft. That's me. I would not be, at this point, if they had another way of transportation, (be) suggesting they ride the subway."

Ah Joe, you make scaremongering an art form, even when you aren’t trying.


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The Weekly Bidenism

With Dodger Joe Biden headed to Canada to woo vital Canadian voters for the Democratic Party, and his motorcade having their fourth accident in a year (why do they let him drive?), you’d think we wouldn’t have anything to write about. . . you’d be wrong. Because like rust, Joe’s mouth never sleeps, and this week, his mouth was talking about Iraq. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

This week, Prognosticator Joe went on Larry King to explain why things will look good for the Democrats in November. Apparently Joe thinks Obama’s “greatest achievement” will see them through. What is Obama’s greatest achievement? Iraq.

"I am very optimistic about -- about Iraq. I mean, this could be one of the great achievements of this administration. You're going to see 90,000 American troops come marching home by the end of the summer. You're going to see a stable government in Iraq that is actually moving toward a representative government. . . I've been impressed how they have been deciding to use the political process rather than guns to settle their differences."

That’s Obama’s “greatest achievement”? Ok, let’s look at the two things Biden says he’s achieved. First, bringing home the troops. As with the Nobel Prize, this isn’t an achievement yet, it’s a promise of an achievement. Those don’t count. Moreover, despite the claim that these troops would be home by the end of the summer, Joe later downgraded this certainty to “likely” on Sunday’s Meet the Press.

Also, we would be remiss if we didn’t point out that this will leave around 60,000 troops in Iraq. Compare that to Obama’s original promise that he would remove ALL troops from Iraq by August 2010, and this “achievement” starts to sound a little fake. But hey, what’s 60,000 troops among friends!

At least Joe is right that Iraqis have put down their guns and are using the political process to settle their differences. Unless you count the daily bombings that continue to kill hundreds of Iraqis each month, including, for example, twin blasts on February 5 that killed 40 pilgrims, or the three explosions at Shiite shrines yesterday, or the fact that December was the deadliest month in Iraq in almost a year (on the worst day, December 8, 121 people were killed in a series of car bombs). But perhaps we are being too critical, after all, daily bombings are just part of the political process in every country, right?

What’s more interesting, is that Joe went on to claim that the Iraq war hasn’t been worth “it’s horrible price,” which he blames on the war being “mishandled from the outset” and on the United States taking “its eye off the ball” by invading Iraq instead of finishing the fight in Afghanistan. Does Joe have a point? I don’t know, let’s ask an expert:

The year was 1998 when Sen. Joe Biden first called for an invasion of Iraq. Said ChickenHawk Biden when U.N. inspectors told him they had no evidence that Saddam had WMDs:

"As long as Saddam’s at the helm, there is no reasonable prospect you or any other inspector is ever going to be able to guarantee that we have rooted out, root and branch, the entirety of Saddam’s program relative to weapons of mass destruction."

"The only way we’re going to get rid of Saddam Hussein is we’re going to end up having to start it alone."

But the evil President Clinton wouldn’t listen to Joe’s bellicose dreams. No, Joe would have to wait until after September 11, 2001 for his hopes to be fulfilled. With the run up to the war just starting, Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman Joe Biden again called for war:

"One thing is clear: These weapons must be dislodged from Saddam, or Saddam must be dislodged from power."

When others cautioned Joe that there was no actual proof that these “weapons” existed, Joe fired back:

"If we wait for the danger from Saddam to become clear, it could be too late."

Added Joe about Saddam Hussein:

"[He is] a long term threat and a short term threat to our nation security [and an] extreme danger to the world."

When Joe was asked as late as 2007 if he stood by those comments, he said he did: “That’s right, and I was correct about that.”

Bellicose Joe then warned us that we must be prepared for the long term:

"I do not believe this is a rush to war. I believe it is a march to peace and security. I believe that failure to overwhelmingly support this resolution is likely to enhance the prospects that war will occur. We must be clear with the American people that we are committing to Iraq for the long haul; not just the day after, but the decade after."

He then shepherded the war resolution through the Senate.

But that was before it became more popular to oppose the war. Soon, he and Obama were calling the war immoral, and they insisted that we never should have invaded in the first place. When others suggested the surge, Biden screamed that we should cut the country into three parts and run away. Indeed, Biden not only insisted that the surge “would fail,” he vehemently opposed it, assuring us the surge will “worsen sectarian violence.”

Of course, the surge worked, and Obama won the election. Suddenly, Biden was the surge’s biggest fan. And now he’s claiming that the effects of the 2007 surge are somehow Obama’s greatest achievement. Think about that. . . Obama’s greatest achievement was something Bush did in 2007.

You know what? Maybe for once, Biden’s right?

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The Weekly Bidenism Obamaism

This week, Lying Joe Biden's been busy plying his craft in Louisiana, where he lied about the number of jobs created in the state -- "in Louisiana there’s 400 people a day losing their jobs". . . Louisiana was the only state to see job growth last month in Obama's economic wasteland -- and he blamed those Biden-fabricated job losses on Governor "Jin-dell": "Governor Jindell. . . what’s he doing?" That's "Jindal." Still, we should excuse Joe because "Jindell" is as close to "Jindal" as we can expect from a man who hates Indians, and truth is hardly Joe’s strong suit. So let’s talk about Obama instead on today’s very special The Weekly Bidenism. . .

Obama. What can we say about Obama? According to the left, their lord and savior Obama is the smartest man to ever occupy the White House. If that’s true, then it’s time we burned the place to the ground. But I don't think it's true, so hold those torches.

For example, smart people generally don’t have problems remembering key details about their lives. Obama does. Like when he forget his own religion during a September 2008 interview with ABC news:

"What I was suggesting -- you're absolutely right that John McCain has not talked about my Muslim faith . . ."

Of course, it’s hard to blame Obama for not knowing much about his faith as he apparently never listened to a word his Pastor Jeremiah Wright said. . . at least, he didn’t listen to Wright’s repeated anti-American or anti-Semitic comments. Otherwise, he assures us, he "wouldn't have felt as comfortable staying at the church." So maybe that's not proof of anything.

But then he did forget on July 23, 2008 that he wasn’t on the Senate Banking Committee:

"Just this past week, we passed out of the out of the U.S. Senate Banking Committee -- which is my committee -- a bill to call for divestment from Iran as way of ratcheting up the pressure to ensure that they don't obtain a nuclear weapon."

Most people remember where they work. He also forgot the details of how he met his wife, claiming to meet her “in class” when she had already graduated before he even arrived. Hmm.

But we want to be fair. So while maybe he can't remember big, unforgettable details about his private life, we must admit that he's shown himself to be a master of detail in other areas. . . except for the time he did slightly over-estimate the number of people killed by a tornado in Kansas:

"In case you missed it, this week, there was a tragedy in Kansas. Ten thousand people died -- an entire town destroyed."

In reality, twelve people were killed. And, I guess, everyone’s heard his claim about having visited “57 states -- I think one left to go.” But, in his defense, knowing how many states there are isn't one of those things they teach you. Just like nobody knows what they speak in Austria:

"It was also interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There's a lot of -- I don't know what the term is in Austrian, wheeling and dealing."

Actually, it’s called “German” genius. . . deutsch for the initiated. You know, this has shades of Dan Quayle’s famous comment about brushing up on his Latin before heading to Latin America, and we all know how stupid the left claimed that made him! Maybe they’re long lost brothers?

At least Obama makes up for his lack of knowledge about facts with his sensitivity, with his compassion, with he knowing how to say the right things at the right time. For example, who can forget his first speech after the Fort Hood terrorism attack. After spending several minutes playing around with the assembled press, he gave a special “shout out”:

"I hear that Dr. Joe Medicine Crow was around, and so I wanted to give a shout out to that Congressional Medal of Honor winner."

Of course, Dr. Medicine Crow is not a Medal of Honor recipient, and it probably wasn’t a good idea to start a press conference right after a national tragedy by acting like a clown before discussing the murder of American troops. "Hooo hoo hey kids! Guess what happened today! Honk honk."

Ok, so maybe he's not that sensitive, but he can be suave, like when he told a female reporter from ABC’s Detroit affiliate: “Hold on one second, sweetie, we're going to do -- we'll do a press avail.” Or when he angrily told a reporter who asked him a foreign policy question during a visit to a diner in Pennsylvania: “Why can't I just eat my waffle?”

Hmmm. Now that I think about it, he did slander his own grandmother. . . not to mention "typical whites":

"The point I was making was not that Grandmother harbors any racial animosity. She doesn't. But she is a typical white person, who, if she sees somebody on the street that she doesn't know, you know, there's a reaction that's been bred in our experiences that don't go away and that sometimes come out in the wrong way, and that's just the nature of race in our society."

And he did call out his kid for her bad grades. . . “teachable moment”? Yes, but what lesson Mr. President? Of course, he slandered middle America too:

"It's not surprising, then, they get bitter, they cling to guns or religion or antipathy to people who aren't like them or anti-immigrant sentiment or anti-trade sentiment as a way to explain their frustrations."

He also slandered Nancy Reagan at his first press conference:

"I didn't want to get into a Nancy Reagan thing about doing any séances."

But at least he never made fun of the Special Olympics. . . at least until he appeared on The Tonight Show in March 2009:

"No, no. I have been practicing. . . I bowled a 129. It's like -- it was like Special Olympics, or something."

But he has always been a gentleman to Hillary, like when he told her: "You're likeable enough, Hillary." I understand she swooned upon hearing that.

Hmm. Maybe he’s not as “articulate and bright and clean” as some people think? Maybe he’s not a “storybook” after all? Or maybe he’s just not the story some people thought? Cinderfella. . . no, The Pied Piper. . . perhaps.

In any event, we leave you with this interesting revelation. . . something you didn’t know about your President. . . he can see dead people:

"On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."

Good grief.

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The Weekly Bidenism Reidism

Stupidity never sleeps. So with Joe Biden taking the week off, others have stepped up to the task of being the village idiot. Harry Reid has made a particular strong case, echoing racist sentiments formerly expressed by Joe himself. Thus, this week Harry Reid guest stars on a very special The Weekly Bidenism. . .

By now you’ve probably heard about a book coming out Monday called “Game Change.” This book, about the 2008 campaign, contains a series of interesting behind the scenes quotes about Sarah Palin, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton and others. One of those “others” turns out to be Harry Reid. Dingy Harry was caught explaining what he liked about Sen. Obama. Basically, he praised Obama privately as being:

"a light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one."

This has shades of Joe Biden’s description of Barack as the “first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and nice-looking.” Sounds like they were smitten doesn't it? In any event, just as Joe’s words inform us that he views blacks as dirty, ugly and in articulate, Reid’s words bespeak a man who sees blacks as too dark and incapable of speaking without a “Negro dialect.”

Interestingly, in December of 2009, this same Harry Reid who doesn’t like dark skinned blacks who speak with Negro dialects stoked racial hatred by comparing those who oppose his socialist health care plans to those who opposed the abolition of slavery:

"Instead of joining us on the right side of history, all the Republicans can come up with is ‘slow down, stop everything, let’s start over.’ If you think you’ve heard these same excuses before, you’re right. When this country belatedly recognized the wrongs of slavery, there were those who dug their heels and said ‘slow down, it’s too early, things aren’t bad enough.’"

Yep, they were called Democrats.

After Reid learned that his words would appear in the book, he raced out Saturday while everyone was busy watching football to issue an apology. Naturally, the MSM covered this story. . . for about three tenths of second before moving on to attack Republicans.

But with Reid trailing each of his three possible challengers by around 10%, and with approval ratings around 35% and disapprovals just creeping over 50%, this may be the nail that seals the coffin on Reid’s crooked political career.

And what a career it’s been. For example, he’s done so much to lower the level of debate in this country. In 2002, Sen. Sauvé said of President Bush:

"President Bush is a liar. He betrayed Nevada and he betrayed the country."

Three years later, Sen. Civic said this about President Bush to a high school civics class:

"The man’s father is a wonderful human being. I think this guy is a loser."

Of course, that was before Dingy Harry learned the value of civic discourse, something he likes to claim is lacking in his opponents.

But Harry’s despicability goes beyond name calling. In 2007, he traitorously declared the war in Iraq “lost.” He predicted that the surge would not work, and he all but accused Bush of wasting American lives. . . by accusing Johnson of the same thing:

"I believe this war is lost, and this surge is not accomplishing anything. . . Johnson did not want a war loss on his watch, so he surged in Vietnam. After the surge was over, we added 34,000 to the 24,000 who died in Vietnam."

Sadly for Harry, we did not lose in Iraq despite his best efforts. Harry also seems to have forgotten his criticism by the time Obama promised to expend as many American lives as necessary to run away from Afghanistan.

Harry, by the way, was one of only a few Democratic Senators to vote against a Senate proposal to condemn Harry’s friends MoveOn.org for their New York Times “General Betray Us” ad.

Harry also. . .

• Complained that tourists smell: "My staff tells me not to say this, but I'm going to say it anyway. In the summer because of the heat and high humidity, you could literally smell the tourists coming into the Capitol. It may be descriptive but it's true."

• Told the Las Vegas Review-Journal: "I hope you go out of business."

• Caused a mini-stock market panic by declaring: "One of the individuals in the caucus [discussing the bailout] today talked about a major insurance company. A major insurance company -- one with a name that everyone knows that’s on the verge of going bankrupt."

The next day, his spokesman had to explain: “Senator Reid is not personally aware of any particular company being on the verge of bankruptcy. He has no special knowledge about a bankruptcy nor has he talked to any insurance company officials.” So basically, he made up a phony bankruptcy claim to scare investors?

• Admitted that he "[hasn't] read a single one" of Sonia Sotomayor’s opinions despite praising her legal writing.

• Said of Ted Kennedy's death: "I think it’s going to help us."

• And in August, he declared: "We have a problem in America and it’s called the private insurance industry."

Personally, I say the Senate is a bigger problem, as is the racketeering organization known as the Democratic Party and its rotten leaders. But maybe that's just me.

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The Weekly Bidenism

Did you know that our mentally-challenged Vice President is a keen observer of the human condition? That’s right. And while some may consider it racist to make nasty generalizations about people based on their race, Joe doesn’t. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

In October 2007, Joe was asked by the editorial board of the Washington Post why some schools in Iowa perform better than some schools in the District of Columbia. Joe had an answer. . . blacks:

"There's less than 1 percent of the population of Iowa that is African American. There is probably less than 4 or 5 percent that are minorities. What is in Washington? So look, it goes back to what you start off with, what you're dealing with..."

Wow, did Joe just say that? Yes, yes he did. And if Joe was anything other than a Democrat, he would have been driven out of polite society and pilloried with a dozen political cartoons showing him in Robert Byrd’s KKK hood.

But Joe’s a liberal, so he can't be a racist, right? No, he couldn’t be. This must be an isolated incident, doesn’t it? Actually, no. On February 4, 2000, Joe said this about Obama to the New York Observer:

"I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that's a storybook, man."

“Clean”? Is Joe implying that blacks are dirty? And what’s this about being the “first” black politician who is “articulate and bright”? That sure sounds like racism. . . at least if a nonliberal said it. But Joe is a liberal, and it's just not fair to judge him on the basis of two very racists statements. So, I guess, as long as those are the only racist things Joe has said, then we. . . what? That’s not everything? Ok.

On June 28, 2007, Joe made the following comment during a primary debate in Washington, D.C.:

"I spent last summer going through the black sections of my town, holding rallies in parks, trying to get black men to understand it is not unmanly to wear a condom, getting women to understand they can say no, getting people in the position where testing matters. I got tested for AIDS. I know Barack got tested for AIDS."

Holy sh~t Joe! Black women don’t know they can say “no”? Black men don’t understand they can wear condoms? WTF Joe?! Are blacks ignorant children who need your noble tutelage? Do you see yourself as a one man Peace Corp traveling into a primitive culture? You sure as heck make it sound that way. Even by liberal-hypocritical standards where we ignore the racism of liberals, this cannot be ignored.

Wow. We have an honest-to-God bigot for a Vice President.

Oh, and just to show that Joe isn’t just bigoted against blacks, take a look at this comment that Joe gave to C-SPAN in June 2006 (and he wasn’t joking):

"You cannot go to a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking."

So, my dear Democrats. . . where’s the outrage? We’re waiting.


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The Weekly Bidenism

When last we left our Village Idiot Vice President, he was busy displaying a little overt sexism and racism while scaring anyone who has the misfortune of needing public transportation: planers, trainers and subwayers beware, the swine flu tolls for thee. There’s plenty more along those lines, but today let’s talk about jobs in honor of last Thursday’s “jobs summit.” Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

Many of you may have noticed that the economy isn’t doing all that well. With over 10% unemployment (17.5% if you count real unemployment), record high mortgage failures, vast numbers of bank failures, and a federal government that seems intent on bankrupting itself before Obama’s term is up, Joe has faced many questions about the economy. The most common about these is why the stimulus isn’t working. But Joe insists that it is. Should we trust him? Perhaps this admission could help us assess his veracity on this issue:

“If it fails, I’d dead.”

That’s Joe on September 24, 2009 explaining his own “self-interest” in making sure the stimulus is seen as a success. Hmmm. Maybe we can’t trust what he says after all? So perhaps we should take this next Bidenism with a grain of salt.

Apparently, people are scratching their heads, wondering how spending so much money is going to help anything. If we keep spending like this, won’t that bankrupt the country -- a very effective anti-stimulus indeed? On July 16, 2009, Joe responded to this criticism:

“People, when I say that, look at me and say, 'What are you talking about, Joe? You're telling me we have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt?’ The answer is yes.”

Uh. Hmm. I don’t even know what to say to that? Could this be as moronic as it seems? Perhaps this is part of some clever political strategy? Perhaps one more Bidenism will cast a little light on this. Here is Slow Joe, in October 2008, explaining what it’s all about:

"It happens to be, as Barack said, a three-letter word … jobs … J-O-B-S, Jobs!"

Ok, so it’s settled. What’s a five letter word for moron? Obama? Biden? Yes. . .


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A Thanksgiving Message From Joe Biden

** Editor's Note: Today we have a very special guest, Vice President Joe Biden. Mr. Biden asked if he could give a Thanksgiving Address to our readers. Who are we to refuse.

I’d like to thank the good people of Contentarama for letting me address you good people on this great American holiday.

Thanksgiving day is a day for giving thanks. . .

. . . man, that’s clever speech writing *reads speech to self*

. . . this looks like a good speech. . . but today isn’t a day for reading speeches, we all know there’s been too much of that these days! *laughs* So let’s throw out the teleprompters. I’m going to speak from the heart.

Thanksgiving day is a day to be thankful, unless you're an Indian. *laughs* Not the kind that works in "a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts" but the kind that owns a casino. *laughs* I should probably stop that.

Look, I want to talk to you about why I’m thankful.

Being the party in power, we get a lot of criticism. . . a lot of criticism. Let me tell you, it comes in by the truckload! And much of it is deserved. I read so much of it and I just nod my head. I say, 'Joe, yeah, that’s true.' But some of it isn’t fair. We can’t get everything right, and some of the stuff we do will never work. We know that, we’re not stupid. But sometimes in politics you’ve got to do things that just don’t make any sense because somebody who gives you money wants you to do it.

But we don’t do that much. And the reason we don’t is because of this guy we’ve got as President. I thank God every day that we have him. “I mean, you got the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy. I mean, that’s a storybook, man.” We should all be thankful for him.

Let me tell you, he’s something special. He’s not like some of those “turkeys” you have to work with in this job. But you’ve got to work with each of them -- “even if you don’t like the SOB.”

Just this morning he showed real leadership. Leadership like we haven’t seen before in this country’s history. Listen to this. Now, a lot of people say, pardon that turkey. . . pardon that turkey Barack. .. pardon that turkey Joe. (I hope they don’t have to say that when our term is over! *laughs*) But I looked at Barack and I said, you can’t do that. What kind of message does that send? This turkey must have done something or he wouldn’t be in trouble. You can’t just pardon him.

I looked at Barack and I said, ‘Barack, you’ve got to do the right thing. You can’t just pardon that turkey and you can’t do what Bush would have done. You’ve got to give this turkey his civil rights.’ And I told him, ‘you’ve got to try this turkey in Federal District Court, maybe in New York.’ And he looked at me and. . . and this is the leadership part. . . he said, ‘Joe, I agree.’ And now that turkey is going to have his day is court.

I’m thankful for my wife too. “My wife Jill. . . is drop dead gorgeous. She also has her doctorate degree, which is a problem.” My wife. Man. Let me tell you, “I’d rather be at home making love to my wife while my children are asleep” than giving this speech.

I thank God that I get to travel in private planes and cars. That swine flu is really bad. “I wouldn’t go anywhere in confined places now. . . When one person sneezes it goes all the way through the aircraft.” I don’t know how you people are going to do the Thanksgiving travel thing. Of course, my motorcade isn’t much safer. Three accidents in a week. But I’m ok, and for that I’m thankful.

I thank God too that I’m not a Detroit Lions fan. How bad do things get before you need to like that baseball team.

I can't think of anything else. Maybe I should have read the speech? *laughs*

Let me just finish by saying that we all need to think about why this administration makes us thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving. Felice Navidance.


** Everything within full "quotation marks" is an actual Bidenism, spoken in earnest by your Vice President.

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The Weekly Bidenism

When last we left our moronic number two, he was breaking laws and lying about his past. But Slow Joe doesn’t limit his historical revisions to himself. No, indeed. He’s happy to revise world history too, as you are about to learn. Get ready for. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

On October 2, 2008, Slow Joe was in the middle of the vice presidential debate at Washington University, in St. Louis, Missouri, when he suddenly whipped out this little doozy:

“When we kicked -- along with France, we kicked Hezbollah out of Lebanon, I said and Barack said, ‘Move NATO forces in there. Fill the vacuum, because if you don’t know -- if you don’t, Hezbollah will control it.”

Oh Joe. Alternate universes not withstanding, Hezbollah has never been kicked out of Lebanon. Hezbollah was formed in 1982 (Joe’s tenth year in the Senate representing the good banks of Delaware) and they’ve run Lebanon ever since. It’s possible Joe meant Syria, though he was clearly talking at length about Hezbollah at the time. And, of course, if he did mean Syria, he still would be wrong. Sure, Syria did pull their troops out of Lebanon, but it had nothing to do with the United States or France. . . it was the result of an uprising by the Lebanese people.

And the idea that Joe and Barack suggested sending NATO troops seems to be made up entirely. Not only did the incident not happen, but there’s no record of any comments even remotely similar to what Joe suggests. But then, maybe Joe was talking about the future rather than the past? That’s about the only explanation that make sense. . . that or Joe’s just a liar or a fool.

But I guess it’s unfair to expect anyone to know the history of such a complicated place like the Middle East, even a supposed foreign policy expert like Joe. After all, it’s not like he butchered U.S. history right? Like the time he said:

“When the stock market crashed, Franklin Roosevelt got on the television and didn’t just talk about the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.’”

True Joe, very true. . . though, I’d like to make two corrections. First, Roosevelt wasn’t President in 1929, Hoover was. And secondly, televisions were still experimental in 1929, so it’s unlikely that Hoover would have attempted a television broadcast of any sort.

Interestingly, when Slow whipped this one out during a September 22, 2008 interview, Katie “the Brain” Couric, a television news personality, didn’t seem to know that either fact was wrong.

The lesson here is that if you find yourself sitting next to Joe or Katie while taking a standardized test, don’t cheat off of either. Just guess, you’ll do better.

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The Weekly Bidenism

When last we left our Pinocchio of a Vice President, he had lied about his family background and his education, and shown neither an understanding that he did anything wrong, nor remorse. So does that mean Slow Joe doesn’t understand the difference between right and wrong? No, he understands quite clearly, as you will see in this week’s. . . The Weekly Bidenism.

On September 3rd, of this year, Slow Joe was busy explaining Team Obama’s efforts to work with state and local governments to distribute stimulus money. Joe and the boys wanted to make various states and local governments cooperate on their spending to get some big regional projects started. Sadly for Joe, a little thing called the Constitution prevents the federal government from forcing cooperation between states or between states and their own municipalities.

And Joe recognized this fact. Indeed, Joe explained to a friendly crowd at the leftist Brookings Institute that he knew he had no authority to dictate how state governments, counties and municipalities work together to spend the money given under the stimulus. But he then admitted that despite this, he went ahead and “encouraged” the governors, mayors, and others with whom he spoke (on a weekly basis) to work together. Was he doing anything wrong? Well, let’s let Joe explain:

“I have not bent the law, but I have let imagination take hold in some places where I think it’s consistent with the spirit of the law. . .

Is that the best way of saying that?

Yes. . .

I should stop.”

You’re right Joe, you should stop, though it’s a little late. Most juries would call what you just did an admission of guilt. Not only that, you’ve just proven what lawyers call scienter, or knowledge of the wrongness of your act.

So not only does Joe have no respect for the law his boss made, or the Constitution, but he brags about it. Nice Joe. . . real nice.

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The Weekly Bidenism

When last we left our brainless Vice President, he was busy lying about his educational background while slapping down a questioner at a campaign stop. You may recall that Biden tried to explain his lying outburst as mere exaggeration. . . apparently, in Joe’s world, exaggeration isn’t lying, and he exaggerates when he gets angry. So today, we test just how deep his untruthfulness goes. Get ready for The Weekly Bidenism.

It is August 23, 1987. Slow Joe is in the middle of a debate (with reality) when he whips out this little family history:

“Why is it that Joe Biden is the first in his family ever to go to a university? . . . Is it because our fathers and mothers were not bright? Is it because I'm the first Biden in generations to get a college and a graduate degree that I was smarter than the rest? Was it that they didn't work hard, my ancestors who worked in the coal mines of Northeast Pennsylvania and would come up after 12 hours and play football for four hours? It's because they didn't have a platform upon which to stand.”

But Biden wasn’t the first person in his family to attend college. Nor were his ancestors coal miners. So where did this come from? Check out the words from a political commercial by British Labor Party Leader Neil Kinnock:

“Why am I the first Kinnock in a thousand generations to be able to get to university? Was it because our predecessors were thick? Was it because they were weak, those people who could work eight hours underground as coal miners and come up and play football, weak? It was because there was no platform upon which they could stand.”

Yikes. So not only did Biden plagiarize this speech without attribution, but he tried to pass off Neil Kinnock’s personal history as his own!!

Following this incident, Biden was caught plagiarizing speeches from Robert Kennedy and Hubert Humphries, as well. He withdrew from the race for the Democratic nomination on September 23, exactly one month after channeling Kinnock.

A bitter Biden would later state, “All I had to say was ‘Like Kinnock.’ If I’d just said those two words, ‘Like Kinnock,’ and I didn’t. It was my fault, nobody else’s fault.” It was indeed your fault Joe, but it goes well beyond simple plagiarism. In fact, adding “like Kinnock” would do nothing to change the fact that you fabricated your family history.

Joe, however, never understood how sick it was for him to fake his family history. Indeed, he found the whole thing amusing, as evidenced by his handing Kinnock a bound copy of Biden’s speeches in January 1998, and jokingly telling the assembled reporters that Kinnock “was welcome to use [any of Biden’s speeches] whenever he liked, with or without attribution.”

He also introduced Kinnock to his Senate staff in August 2008 by saying: “Hey, you people! Do you know this guy? He used to be my greatest speechwriter.”

So much for remorse.


BONUS BIDENISM

With the election on Tuesday resulting in Republican Robert McConnell crushing Democrat Creigh Deeds by 18% in Virginia, it’s worth pointing out this little puzzler from Slow Joe on October 8, 2009, wherein Joe seems to accuse Creigh of lacking faith. . . a great thing to say at a fundraiser for Deeds:

“I hope to God you understand this race is winnable.”

Maybe not.


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The Weekly Bidenism

Today we're introducing a new feature: The Weekly Bidenism. Joe Biden is a liar. He's also perhaps the dumbest politician this country has ever produced. This guy makes Forrest Gump look like Einstein. And we think that such carefully cultivated stupidity deserves a little appreciation. So every Sunday morning from now on (notice we're starting on a Saturday night), we will post a Bidenisms or two for you to enjoy. . . and to make you wonder how this man could possibly ever be put a heartbeat away from the Presidency.

Today we start with a classic in which Joe tells us how smart he is. During the Robert Bork hearings, it was discovered that Slow Joe had been disciplined as a first year law student for plagiarism (something he has a history of doing). On April 3, 1987, at a campaign stop in Claremont, New Hampshire, he was asked about that and a slew of recent reports about other instances of plagiarism. Joe angrily attacked the questioner:

"I think I probably have a much higher IQ than you do, I suspect. I went to law school on a full academic scholarship, the only one in my class to have a full academic scholarship. . . . I went back to law school and, in fact, ended up in the top half of my class. I won the international moot court competition. I was the outstanding student in the political science department at the end of my year. I graduated with three degrees from undergraduate school and 165 credits, only needed 123 credits, and I'd be delighted to sit down and compare my IQ to yours, if you'd like, Frank."

While this is not a very nice (or smart) thing for a politician to say, what makes this a Bidenism is a certain lack of candor here, and Biden's follow up comments.

For example, it turns out that Biden did not go to school on a full academic scholarship. He received a partial scholarship, and it was based on financial need. . . not academic credentials.

Moreover, while Biden claims he ended up in the top half of his class, his law school records show that he finished 76th out of 85. That puts him almost in the bottom 10%.

And while Biden claims he won an international moot court competition, Newsweek noted that he'd never listed this on his resume.

His three degrees also turned out to be a single degree with a double major, and his law degree.

When all of this was exposed, Biden first responded with a true Bidenism:

"I exaggerate when I'm angry, but I've never gone around telling people things that aren't true about me."

So exaggerations are true?

He then responded angrily:

"I don't understand all this. [expletive] I guess every single word I've ever said is going to be dissected now."

No Joe, just the stupid ones. . .


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