Caption This!

Okay, I don't drive much since I don't own a car and live in NYC, but what the heck does this street sign mean exactly? Or more importantly, what were the sign designers thinking when they made this sign? I am stumped...

If you have actually seen a sign like this before, maybe you know. If you don't, just make something up. But most of all, let's have some fun on this hot, humid July day.

Btw, tt was posted on Twitter by one of my favorite "tweeters" - Justice Don Willet, a Texas Supreme Court justice, all-around funny guy, and unofficial "Tweeter Laureate of Texas". Even he couldn't figure this one out and he's a Judge!

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Caption This - City Pigeon Addition

So, I was walking through the City Hall Park in lower Manhattan one morning last week when I saw this...

Two pigeons sitting on Horace Greeley's head. I can't imagine what they could have been talking about, but I have a feeling that you may know. Do your best and there may be a prize...but probably not.

End notes:
If you want to learn more about Horace Greeley, read this - LINK

If you want to learn more about pigeons, read this - LINK

If you want to learn anything, read a book...

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Caption This - Obama, the Jokester

I know you see the title and think this is going to be a creepy Biden photo. Yippee! But we've been there and done that. And anyway, that was just creepy Biden being creepy Biden. But what is this?

Shouldn't the Secret Service be doing something? I guess not since they are the same ones who forgot to lock the front door of the White House and allowed a crazy person to run around for a while. Anyway, this photo was taken to sell Obamacare...yeah, really.

Oh, yeah, the above photo is a snapshot from a commercial. Yes, this is what our President does while the world is blowing up around us...he makes a commercial to sell Obamacare for BuzzFeed...



Now if he could only decide what the "root causes" of all of those darn "extremists" are...[Hint: Jobs...]

Post your captions, comments, or just do what I am doing, and cower in the corner and breath very deeply until you calm down...

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Laughter is The Best Medicine Caption Contest!!!

Okay, our leader is in pain and needs our help. As medical science has proven over and over, laughter is the best medicine, so it's a good day for....drum roll, please...a Caption Contest! This is an emergency, CommentaramaPeeps, so get those funnybones in gear STAT!

No one can really say why someone did this, but they did and it is sorely in need of a caption:

Let me get us started with this one:

Pardon me boys, is that the carp who ate the choo-choo?

If this doesn't work I may have to break out the really hard core stuff - videos of puppies and kittens doing cute stuff. If that doesn't work, well, I may just have to resort resort to baby penguins! I mean it. You better make this work or I will break out Cookie the Penguin, people! Oh, heck, here is Cookie anyway...who can resist a giggling penguin.

Hopefully, it will be a slow news day and we can have some fun. But if anything comes up, please feel free to change the subject...

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Caption This - Joe Biden Apology Tour Edition

Oh, that wacky Joe Biden. Just when we thought we were safe, he had to open his big trap. Okay, we haven't heard from Joe Biden in while. And apparently for good reason. When he opens his mouth invariably he inserts his foot.

This time he was speaking at the Harvard Kennedy School where in the course of his speech, he implied that Turkey and the other regional allies have supplied "or facilitated" the growth of ISIL and other extremists in Syria. He even went all folksy about how President Erdogan of Turkey was "an old friend" and that he admitted to Biden that Turkey screwed up by allowing foreign fighters to cross into Syria.

It is just fine to tell "the truth" however, when trying to create a coalition to help defeat ISIL and global terrorism in general, insulting entire regions probably is not a wise move. Biden is marketed as a savvy politician and an expert in foreign policy, yet he has had to apologize to Turkey, UAE, and Saudi Arabia for his remarks. At best, his diplomatic skills are just amateurish. And, as tech savvy as the this Administration is, they cannot seem to grasp that when someone from the Administration makes these kinds of statements anyplace, even at the hallowed hall of Harvard Kennedy School, it will be heard by more than just those who attend.

But they don't understand that the words they choose matter. Earlier in the month, Biden referred to bankers as "Shylocks" which got the Anti-Defamation League's backs up. Then he used the outdated imperialist term "the Orient" which got the Asian-American's backs up. [But then Harry Reid didn't help when he jokingly remarked "...I don’t think you’re smarter than anybody else, but you’ve convinced a lot of us you are" and “One problem I’ve had today is keeping my Wongs straight.” in Vegas to the Asian Chamber of Commerce.] Maybe Joe Biden just can't help himself.

So, fearing that he may have to chew on more shoe leather, let's get ahead of the game. I mean, we haven't made light of "Ol' Joe" in a while, so let's have some fun. Maybe if we come up with just the right statement he can use that will insult everyone in the world all at once, he can just make one big apology and get it over. Then just maybe the world will be a much more cooperative, happy place. Let's do this for "World Peace", People!

So, here's the photo. Do your stuff for sake of all mankind...er...humankind!

By the way, I hear from "The Management" that there may be prizes for the best caption that may (or may not) include a no-expense paid vacation to anywhere in the world you want to pay to go!

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Caption This - The Cup-gate Edition

Okay, what can I say. I missed so much while communing with nature. Wars have been "declared" sort of. Well, Obama has finally gotten religion about global terrorism though he did blame the "intelligence community" for not making him take seriously enough.

And Amal Alamuddin, a well-respected internationally reknowned criminal defense attorney and human rights advocate married...an actor. It has been on the front page of the New York newspapers for 6 days and counting. Wow, you'd think that George Clooney finally got married!

And someone actually jumped the fence and walked right in the front door of the White House and ran around for a while. Not before decking a female agent and causing the Secret Service director Julia Pierson to resign earlier today. Of course it is really absurd that no one bothered to actually lock the front door. And all this after a subversive 2-year-old slipped through the fence and was immediately surrounded by the entire WH Secret Service detail with guns drawn only a few week ago.

Oh, and wait, there's this - long-time champion short-stop and all-around nice guy Derek Jeter played his last game for the New York Yankees this week. It's a sad day for baseball.

And who can forget this! Chelsea Clinton had a girl - Charlotte Clinton Mezvinsky. Awww, we love babies and what better for the former and future Presidents Clinton than to welcome their first grandchild! Mazel Tov!

But this...THIS is what is the craziest!

I call it "Cup-Gate"! Do they have a Starbucks on Air Force One now? Sweeeeet! And I thought they had special china cups and saucers and stuff on AF1. I hope he recycled that paper cup after he finished with it! Well, at least he didn't hand it to one of the saluting Marines, right?

Anyway, let's have some fun. How would you....CAPTION THIS!

But as always, feel free to change the subject because we have no rules here.

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Caption This and other stuff...

Okay, it's been a while since we've had a laugh, but this week I think I need one. I mean, President Obama expressed to the world that his biggest worry is a possible nuclear holocaust in New York City. I mean, it is something we all think about, but did he really have to issue a challenge? Greeeaaat. Thanks. Oh, well...

Anyway, I'm not going down without a good laugh, so who better to make that happen than Nancy Pelosi!

Or if Nancy is just too easy, then did you hear the one about how there just would not be anymore Obamacare deadline delays? Yep, they couldn't/shouldn't/just wouldn't extend the March 31st deadline to sign up, but...

Oh, well, yeah, they did. Of course, it would have surprised me more is if they didn't delay. Oh, Harry Reid says it's because “people are not educated about how to use the internet” and it's the Koch brother's fault. [Okay, he didn't blame the Kochs, but he will, just wait!] I wish they had thought about that whole internet issue before they spent hundreds of billions of tax dollars developing those websites, but hey, who could have predicted, right?

So do your stuff.

Oh, and these might interest you:

1. Another New York legislator was arrested in a big multi-state corruption sting that included the new Mayor of Charlotte and a California state legislator...all Democrats.California state Sen. Leland Yee (D) and Charlotte Mayor Patrick Cannon (D), and raided the offices of New York state Assemblyman William Scarborough (D) in connection with unrelated corruption investigations. I have to give credit to HuffingtonPost. They actually revealed the party of each in the first paragraph. That's progress, right?

2. It has now been two weeks since I queried all of my elected officials if they had signed up for insurance through any of the Obamacare exchanges. No responses yet.

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Caption This - Biden In China

I don't know about you, but I haven't been so nervous about US-China relations since Nixon went to China in 1972. No, really, I mean it. Biden could say anything or do something Biden-ish and, well, things could happen.

Like this:

Dear Lord, what was he doing? No, really, what was he doing? I am as nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs. So, what is better to calm the nerves than poking a little fun at our leaders, right? So....{{{{drum roll, please}}}}}...Caption this!

At least he holstered the Biden finger guns...

Do your stuff or change the subject.

Oh, and if you just don't want to think about Biden in China, here's something else to ponder:

Pizza is round, comes in a square box, and is cut into triangles.

Is that a random confluence of geometry or by design?

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Caption This!

One of the most dreaded weeks of the year in New York City is upon us. Yes, it's the week of the UN General Assembly. It's when all of the leaders of the world convene to preen, posture, and pontificate about how the world could be so much more peaceful if only Israel didn't exist. Okay, that was an editorial, but hey, the new president of Iran Hassan Rouhani actually indicated that the holocaust may have actually happened. That's progress, right?

Anyway, between the street closures, public transportation slowdowns, bomb threats, and massive police presence, there was one leader who was not allowed to speak...

I know he would speak for all of us if he could, so we must speak for him. We must make his voice heard (in my head, he sounds like an old Jewish deli counter man). Well, you know the drill... make it funny because we all need a good laugh this week that's not related Congress...

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Are You Smarter Than An 8th Grader...in 1912?

Okay, before we get started on the test...What? You didn't know there was going to be a test? Uh-oh, so why didn't you come to class? Oh, no! Is this the first time you remembered to come to class? Ooooh, that's bad...

WAKE UP!!! WAKE UP!!! Phew! What a nightmare...a very, very common nightmare. Oh, don't get me wrong. There is going to be a test, but this is a test for which you can't really study...and one more than likely your great-grandparents might have taken.

As it so happens, the test results of the latest Regents exams were made public this week in New York State. Parents and the general public were warned beforehand that the the Regents exam was going to be much harder, so we were prepared for much lower test scores as in previous years. As expected the scores were abysmal. 7 out of 10 students in our NYC schools tested below grade level.

As we debate the cause - crowded classrooms, lack of funds, union intransigence, Mayoral tinkering etc. the fact is that little Billy and Betty Lu ain't learnin' nothing these daze. Most of our children have libraries (including unlimited resources online), multiple teachers and aides, and all of the opportunities to obtain reading materials in every single language in the world (and even some that Hollywood has invented) at their fingertips, yet our children cannot read, write, and do simple arithmetic. Our children are failing or, more accurately, we are failing our children.

It just so happens, that a few years ago, a donation was made to the Bullitt County History Museum in Kentucky of an Eighth Grade Exam for Bullitt County from 1912. As is described on the museum's website:

"Bullitt County Schools were mostly one-room schools in those days, scattered around the rural county. Students came together at the county courthouse once or twice a year to take this "Common Exam." It was apparently a big deal....[s]ome scholarships were provided to those who passed to go on to high school, which was also a big deal back then. In those days, high school was sometimes another county away and a rare thing for many farm children to be able to otherwise attend."

Of course there are obvious differences. First, the 1912 exam was a short,straight exam with 57 questions for which the exam taker had to write out the answers. The Regents exam is much longer, but all with multiple choice answers. What did we do differently when our children learned in one room schoolhouses with multiple grades with limited resources and supplies that we are not doing now? There is another big difference - very few children in 1912, especially in rural areas, advanced to high school and most stopped their formal education at the 8th grade. But they completed the 8th grade with at least the skills to read, write, and do arithmetic.

So, just for fun, let's see if you are smarter than a 1912 rural Kentucky 8th grader! I have extracted some of the questions that these students had to answer for the 1912 exam. Let's see if you could have advance to that 1912 High School with a scholarship and a chance to leave the farm for college.

Here are the rules. I know, we at Commentarama do not like rules, but try anyway to adhere to these few. Each question will count for 100 points. You must earn at least 70% to advance. There is no time limit, and I will post original questions and answers at around Noon Eastern standard time. And NO CHEATING by doing internet searches for your answers either!

Something else to remember, this is test from 1912, so some of the answers may have changed in the last 100 years. There will be extra points given for those who can come up with the correct answer from 1912 and 2013! Give your final test scores (be honest) and we will see if you are smarter than a 1912 8th grader!

Okay, open up your exam books and......begin!

Spelling:
Okay, really, we can't do the spelling portion, but extra credit will be given if you can reasonably explain why! [In the original exam, there were 40 words that were given by the exam giver that the student had to spell]


Arithmetic:
1. A man bought a farm for $2400 and sold it for $2700. What percent did he gain?

2. A school enrolled 120 pupils and the number of boys was 2/3 the number of girls. How many of each sex were enrolled? [Look! A question about sex!]

3. At $1.62 1/2 a cord, what will be the cost of a pile of wood 24 ft. long, 4 ft. wide and 6 ft. 3in. high?

[Personally, I have never been very good at math, so there will be no bonus question.]

Grammar:
1. How many parts of speech are there. Define each.

2. What is a Personal Pronoun? Decline "I".

3. Diagram - The Lord loveth a cheerful giver.

Bonus if you known what "decline" means.
Extra Bonus if you know what it means to diagram a sentence.

Geography:

1. Locate the following countries which border each other: Turkey, Greece, Servia, Montenegro, Roumania [Remember, it's 1912]

2. Name in the order of their size the three largest States in the United States [in 1912]. [Extra points for what those three states are today]

3. Through which waters would a vessel pass in going from England through the Suez Canal?

Bonus: Name and give the capitals of the States touching the Ohio River.

Physiology:
1. Name the organs of circulation.

2. Define Cerebrum; Cerebellum.

3. Why should we study Physiology?

Bonus: Give at least five rules to be observed in maintaining good health.

Civil Goverment:
1. To what four governments are students in school subjected?

2. Name and define the three branches of the goverment of the United States.

3. Name three rights given by Congress by the Constitution and two rights denied Congress.

Bonus: What is a copyright? Patent right? [Andrew: you are precluded from earning any bonus points for this question...]

History:
1. Who first discovered the following places - Florida, Pacific Ocean, Mississippi River, St. Lawrence River.

2. During what wars were the following battles fought: Brandywine, Great Meadows, Lundy's Lane, Antietam, Buena Vista.

3. Name 2 presidents who have died in office; three who were assassinated. [Extra credit for one more in each category]

Bonus: Who invented the following - Magneto, Telegraph, Cotton Gin, Sewing Machine, Telephone, Phonograph?

So, what's your score? Remember 100 points for each correct answer. The person who makes the highest score will win a free invisible T-shirt with "I Am Smarter Than A 1912 Bullitt County Kentucky 8th Grader" on it and the bragging rights that go with it!

UPDATE: As promised, here are the links to the original test with all of the questions and the answers.

Full Exam

Full Answers

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Caption This: Anthony "The Situation" Weiner

Okay, I just can't help myself. Poor Carlos Danger...er...Anthony "The Situation" Weiner. Everyone is begging him to drop out of the NYC mayoral race. From Diane Feinstein to Debbie Wasserman Schultz, they all want him to drop off the face of the Earth as quickly as possible, but he is resolute. He will not drop out.

It's hard to believe that Democrats could be embarrassed by anything, but they have finally met their match with the Weiner. Heck, the poor guy can't catch a break! And, let's just say that "The Clintons" are really not happy as they keep getting draw ever more deeply into the his issues. Well, it's just plain embarrassing for them. They just don't want to be reminded of the "Clinton" years. And, as it was reported today, the long-suffering Huma Abedin, wife of the obstinate mayoral candidate, is taking an "extended leave of absence" as right-hand person to the Hillary Clinton 2016 "Will she run/won't she run" Presidential campaign.

So because I just can't pass up an opportunity to embarrass the Clintons, let's play "Caption This!"

or this...

Try your hardest [{{{{snicker}}}}] to do your best or worst depending...

Oh, and if things couldn't get any better (or worse) for the Clintons, it was reported today that certain tapes of the Lewinsky situation that were supposed to have been destroyed in the late '90's are about the resurface at the behest of the National Inquirer ...

Yeah, yeah, we all know that Sydney Leathers is going to be porn star...see what you can do with that!

Why do I feel like Hedda Hopper right now?

As always, prizes will be awarded to the winner...

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Caption This: Where's Biden?

Our Dear Andrew is feeling under the weather. But as they say, laughter is the best medicine, so let's make Andrew laugh, so he can get better faster! Does anyone know any good jokes, funny stories, or maybe a limerick or two? (PG-rated, please)

Well, if not, then maybe Joe Biden can help out. He's always good for a a few laughs, right?

So in the latest installment of "Caption This"...well, hmmm, caption this! Remember the idea is to make Andrew laugh! Not only will you win big prizes, but mostly you will be doing a public service to help Andrew get better faster, so he won't be at the mercy of Obamacare!

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Caption This: Putin Us Off

Well, it's not been a particularly good week for President Obama and it has nothing to do with the ever-growing list of domestic scandals. As you know, Our Dear Leader has been in Northern Ireland lecturing world leaders at the G8 Conference about stuff. Then on to Germany to lecture the Germans about more stuff. The crowd at the Brandenburg Gate, where he gave his latest grand speech was downsized from a Hope-N-Change crowd that was 200,000 strong in 2008 to around about 4,800 invited guests. Sadly, his usual big finish was spoiled by the sun. Yes, the sun got in his eyes and he couldn't read his teleprompter, so the crowd wasn't awed by the wonder of his soaring rhetoric. But, it is reported that he covered nicely. Feeling that he was losing the crowd, he decided it would be a good time to disrobe and that was met with thunderous hoots and applause of an appreciative crowd. [Note to speech-givers: When sensing you might be losing the crowd, take off an article of clothing]

But, not everyone was impressed this week. Earlier, President Obama met with Russian President Vladimir Putin and the reception was kind of...well...let's just say that maybe former President Medvedev didn't give Putin the whole "I can be more flexible after the election" message. Or maybe someone accidentally pushed the famous Hillary Clinton reset button and it got re-reset again. Maybe it is over Syria or that questions about an allegedly stolen Super Bowl ring. Maybe Putin was just not in the mood to talk because of his pending divorce. Who knows, but whatever it is, it was kind of chilly. What could have caused these two world leaders to be so uncomfortable with each other?

I mean, we've gone from this in March of 2012 -

To this -

Is it something Obama said or did? What could that have been?

Okay, so you know the drill. Tell us what you think is going on here? So, do your stuff. Btw, extra point will be awarded for using "epipheral" in your caption.

*Actual awards will sent to the winner or winners as soon as we can locate them. Dang invisible t-shirts keep getting lost. Hey, if the NSA is listening, maybe they can help us locate them with some of their super-duper detecting stuff they use to find terrorists and/or wayward former whistleblower. But we won't bother the IRS. They have enough trouble...

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Caption This: The Attorney General Blues...

Poor Eric Holder. He had to testify before a Congressional Committee where he stated that he didn't know nothing about nothing when it came to those secret subpoenas directed at those AP phone lines. His exact words were “That is not something that I have ever been involved in, or would think would be a wise policy."

Well, before the week was out, another secret investigation surfaced. The Washington Post reported that Eric Holder personally involved in signing off on secret search warrant to investigate Fox News Chief Washington Correspondent James Rosen for...well...espionage.

Oops, didn't he just say that this was something he would have never been involved in? Well, it looks like he has some 'splainin' to do. And he is going to do it too. He has called a meeting on Thursday with all the news organization executives to discuss these investigations that he said he didn't know anything about. But here is the catch: He wants these meetings to be "off the record". You don't have to imagine exactly how THAT is going over. As of this post, both the NYT and the AP have declined to participate and I am sure there will be other news organizations that will follow suit.

Well, since this meeting will be off the record, there's nothing to stop us from reporting on what might go on, right?

[Well, as long as all of your taxes are paid properly and we don't use our real names]

So CommentaramaPoliticsians, on your marks, get set...GOOOOOOOOO! [I would have said "BANG", but that would probably send the ATF to my door...]

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Caption This: Just For Fun

How many times will we get reports that someone has been arrested in the Boston bombing only to be told soon after that the MSM jumped the gun (no pun intended)! My favorite report so far is when the AP reported that the police were on the way at that moment to arrest someone. Really? Because we all know that criminals and terrorists are definitely not watching the news, right? Since the last few days have been trying, let's switch gears for a few hours. Sometimes you just need to take a breath, mellow out and look at kittens and puppies doing cute things or...

I have to say, I often ponder what I would ask a group of penguins if I ever got the opportunity. If these penguins could really talk, what would you ask them? What would they say? Like...well...take a breath, mellow out and just let go.

As always, please feel free to discuss whatever you want.

Oh, and on a positive note, amazingly, no elected officials in New York have been arrested this week...so far!

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Caption This: Obama In Israel

Hurry! Lock all of the doors and turn off all the lights. Maybe if we are really, really quiet, President Obama will think that we moved and won't come back! Okay, maybe that's mean. He is out there trying his darndest to make the Israelis like him and trust him. I think he is finding out that they just aren't that impressed with his One'ness. I mean, they know about Messiahs in Israel and, well, let's just keep it at not impressed.

So that being said, here's the photo of the week:

What could they possibly be chatting about? A nuclear Iran? Those pesky settlements? And who is the empty chair for? A surprise guest or Clint Eastwood?

Please feel free to expand the discussion.


FYI - I will be travelling today and will be checking in later.

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Caption This: Joe "Shotgun" Biden

You have got to love Joe Biden, the crazy Uncle of our Executive Branch. Since, President Obama appointed him the point guard in the Administration's War On the 2nd Amendment, Joe's been travelling around on his "listening" tour. But despite what you may think, Uncle Joe LOVES guns. He especially favors double-barrel shotguns for his wife Dr. "Calamity" Jill Biden:

"...if you wanna protect yourself get a double barrel shotgun, have the shells the .12 gauge shotgun and I promise you as I told my wife, we live in an area that’s wooded and somewhat secluded, I said: Jill, if there is ever a problem just walk out on the balcony here, walk out – put that double barrel shotgun and fire two blasts."

Okay, just where do the Secret Service guys and gals that we provide fit into this double-barrel fantasy scenario?

Anyway, you know what to do. Give it your best shot...yes, I meant to say that!

And for extra credit because we don't grade on a curve here at Commentarama!

What are you two up to, Sen. Schumer?

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Caption This: Help Needed

Now, I don't mean to scare you, but it's cold and about to snow. And what is better than a good scare to get the old blood pumpin'! So...


BOO!!



No, really, what could she be so surprised about? Please help! If we figure this out maybe we can help her!

And to all you wonderful Commentarama-ians

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Caption This: Oh, Shoot...

Okay, what the heck is going on here? Did he? Didn't he? And what the 'tar-nation (as my Grandm'ther would say) is he shootin' at, anyway?

And what about those drones, eh? Does this make anyone nervous?

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Caption This: Michelle Ma Belle..

Honestly, I do not think I would have considered making light of our former first ladies while they were living in the White House. But there is something about First Lady Michelle Obama that just begs for it. It's that indefinable "je ne sais quoi" of our Michelle...

I am sure that if we put our heads together, we can define that "it" that makes her so special.

What was our lovely First Lady (with the elbows on the table) thinking sitting there next to the Boehners?

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