Where Have The Elves Been?

By the Boiler Room Elves

We know, we know -- the rumors have been rampant. The Elves are on an extended leave of absence; the Elves got busted importing illegal boilers without a license; the Elves tried to kill Andrew and pull off a coup resulting in -- oh wait, that's our “to do” list. The truth is - the Elves have been out taking advantage of the fine tax paying citizens of this country. That's right, the Elves are now 1st time home-owners, suckered in by The Dear Leader's Tree-House Tax Credit.

We found ourselves a cute little 100-year-old Victorian tree with all the gingerbread trimmings. A big kitchen for cookie baking, a lovely porch for whiling away lazy afternoons, and a basement just big enough for a boiler of our own. Ahhhh. The Bossmen are pretty much signing their checks directly over to Home Depot lately, and they're getting increasingly annoyed at our newfound lack of willingness to work overtime. In fact, don't tell the Bossmen, but as things in the treehouse get nicer and nicer, things in the Boiler Room are getting increasingly slipshod. Ahem. . .

Now, you may ask yourselves -- if the Boiler Room Elves are good little conservatives in favor of limited government and less spending, how dare they add to the problem by so flagrantly grabbing up one of The Dear Leader's handouts? Well, frankly, in this case, done is done, and we thought our own tax money is better spent back in our pocket than in the government's.

Anyway, if you out there in Commentarama-reader-land want to make a real difference in cutting spending and waste, have you checked out THIS SITE?

Every week, Republican House Whip Eric Cantor is putting up 5 things to cut from Federal spending that We The People (and Elves) get to vote on. Then, the Republicans are introducing a motion on the floor of the House to cut that item. So far, we've voted on two things. Last week was an amendment to eliminate a pay raise for federal government employees, which would have saved $30 billion. Representative Michele Bachman introduced the amendment, and naturally the Dems voted it down without even allowing debate. But the Dems are now on record voting not to skip their own pay raise this year. As Representative Cantor said in his e-mail: "(W)e are beginning to change the culture here in Washington. We will not stop until we have brought spending under control."

Go Representative Cantor! Go Representative Bachman! Go Commentarama and vote on the You Cut site!

Now, where did we leave that crown molding for the tree-house....