Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Twittering About...

I realize this may be better suited for CommentaramaFilm, but let's have some fun while we gently ease Andrew back into reality.

So, a few month ago someone started a new hashtag stream on Twitter called #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly. What fun I had this weekend coming up with simple plots in 140 characters. And what other people came up with had me ROTFLOL'ing all over the place..

Here is an example: Bad thing happens, lots of running and screaming. Gov't officals make it worse. Cute misfits have a plan. Bad thing destroyed." Okay, that was a bad example. That could be any Sci-Fi B-movie from the '70's.

Try this: "Son of dead S&L owner seeks revenge on disabled man...angel intervenes". Name that movie
Or here's a classic: "Transported to a surreal landscape, a young girl kills the first person she meets and then teams up with three strangers to kill again.".

Okay, you get the gist, so let's have some fun.

BUT if you want to be more serious. here's some real news. The Army Forces Command announced on Monday that Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl will face charges of desertion and misbehavior before the enemy in a general court-martial. Remember, he was the guy who was held captive by the Taliban for five years before Obama released five Taliban detainees held at Guantanamo in exchange for his release in 2014.

Bergdahl hasn't really spoken publicly of his ordeal, but spoke extensively with screenwriter Mark Boal, who shared about 25 hours of the recorded interviews with Sarah Koenig for her popular podcast, "Serial." He explained extensively he really was whistleblower who was trying to bring to light serious problems with leadership in his unit. Oh, and he has a Jason Bourne complex. I suspect that somehow he will get some kind of pardon from Obama if convicted. But whatever happened to those five Taliban released?

Anyway. Be serious or have some fun. It's your call.

47 comments:

EPorvaznik said...

Prior to my ultimate dream of Terry Schappert as Secretary of Defense, I'd like Red Eye's (and my) favorite Green Beret to head up a seek and destroy team to take care of the Taliban bastards.

Former mafia muscle becomes heavyweight boxing Champ without any fixed fights. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

Kit said...

As an aside, Kurt Schlichter, who has been critical of Trump from the start, has a message for Donald Trump supporters:

"As a young man, I learned that sometimes that hot chick you're dating is also completely crazy and, as much fun as it is to go out with her, it's going to end badly. That's Donald Trump, the super hottie of the "I Hate the GOP Establishment with a Burning Passion That Has Rendered Me Insusceptible to Reason" crew. He's sexy, he likes to party, and he certainly puts out – in the sense that he fulfills your fantasies about giving it to the RINOs good and hard."

Read the whole thing: LINK

Kit said...

Spoiled plantation heiress goes full-on psycho-b***h trying to keep land. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

Kit said...

Let me try some more:

A group of kids involved in animal-fighting get transported to an island to be taught forcing animals to fight is wrong. They learn lesson, only to forget it completely. GOTTA BUY THEM ALL! #Explainafilmplotbadly

A group of immigrant mice stage a communist revolution against the United States. LINK

8 spoiled hipster d-bags cheat their landlord and play throw it on the ground while singing disgustingly sentimental songs and self-righteous power ballads FUCKYOUYOUGODDAMNDIRTYHIPSTERTRA—"

Uh… I think I sort of went overboard on that last one.

Kit said...


A group of aliens get crash course in Earth epidemiology.
LINK

German filmmaker gives us the rousing film version of his D- American history paper.
LINK

German filmmaker gives us a film version of a D- English paper.
LINK

German filmmaker gives us a film version his D- science paper.
LINK

ScottDS said...

Kit -

I haven't seen the film in years... can you elaborate on the Communist revolution part?

Oh, and to continue your theme: German filmmaker gives us a film version of his F gay/lesbian studies paper. LINK (Seriously, even folks for whom this movie was made hated it.)

tryanmax said...

A restless office worker, dissatisfied with modern life, meets a kindred spirit in carefree salesman and together they establish a group for like-minded men.LINK

BevfromNYC said...

Selfish teenager lies, steals, cheats and kills to succeed. Still loses guy in the end...maybe.

BevfromNYC said...

Spoiled plantation heiress goes full-on psycho-b***h trying to keep land. #ExplainAFilmPlotBadly

Kit - that made me do a coffee spit-take!

BevfromNYC said...

Other News: Entire L.A. School system shut down because of "credible terrorist threat".

Good grief - isn't this a bit of over-reaction. Shouldn't they make sure that there really IS a bomb before they go making drastic over-the-top accusation. I bet someone gets wrongly handcuffed because of this. The school district should be sued for doing this...especially if turns out that the person/persons was just doing a scientific psych experiment.

EPorvaznik said...

LAUSD. A teacher likely saw a student bring in a Nativity scene.

AndrewPrice said...

Star Wars: Old man settles grudge against former pupil using pupil's son.

EPorvaznik said...

Not bad, AP ... from a certain point of view.

AndrewPrice said...

LOL! Bravo! :)

Kit said...

"I haven't seen the film in years... can you elaborate on the Communist revolution part?"

I want to make clear, I like the movie. Anyway, the communist revolution part: a group of downtrodden mice over-throw the bourgeoisie capitalist cats?

Oh, and I heard about his version of Stonewall. What did they expect from having Mr. Shakespeare-Didn't-Write-Shakespeare-in-fact-the-man-who-wrote-Shakespeare-was-really-the-illegitimate-son-of-Queen-Elizabeth-who-later-had-a-baby-with-her direct a movie about gay rights?

BevfromNYC said...

"Anonymous" is intriguing. I love the snotty conspiracy crowd who cannot comprehend that a low-born-Willy Bob Shakespeare-couldn't-write-such-great-plays-'cause-he-was-unedumacated.

Nice job on the description too!

tryanmax said...

Three out-of-work college professors decide to become entrepreneurs and open an extermination business.

tryanmax said...

A computer programmer joins a group of hackers, experiences a break with reality, and develops a messiah complex.

Patriot said...

1%'er of privilege loses everything due to drug abusing relative. Contemplates suicide and is saved by extra-terrestrial sources.

Patriot said...

Factory boss forces noble workers to work without healthcare or living wages. Workers revolt led by plucky aspiring dentist and his funny animal sidekick.

AndrewPrice said...

Hi folks! Sorry for the lack of an article, but my internet went out -- we had a sort of ice storm yesterday.

tryanmax said...

Okay, I get Rudolph, but what's the one about the 1%er?

AndrewPrice said...

It's A Wonderful Life?

Patriot said...

George Bailey...exactly!

Patriot said...

Brooding man causes millions in property destruction. Press colludes with secret gov't agency to stifle events.

Patriot said...

Global cabal installs functional idiot as head of government. Hilarity ensues as everything he touches goes bad.

BevfromNYC said...

It's 59 degrees in NYC. Ice storm in CO?? Not possible...I don't believe you...global warming!

BevfromNYC said...

Global cabal installs functional idiot as head of government. Hilarity ensues as everything he touches goes bad.

Patriot - Isn't that the Obama Administration? Or please, PLEASE let the last 8 years just be a really scary movie...

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, It's 16 degrees and the roads are under about two inches of densely packed snow and ice. Yuck.

Patriot said...

Bev.....First, apologies for not seeing that you had "It's a Wonderful Life" first!

As far as the functional idiot, you're exactly right. Except I'd change it now to 'dys'functional idiot.....

BevfromNYC said...

Patriot - That's okay. It is so funny the different ways there are to describe "It's A Wonderful Life"! It's all in the perspective...

I agree about the "dys"function issue, but I assume Obama can still dress himself so...I know, I know, never "ass-u-me" anything. ;-)

Patriot said...

Okay....TV show:

Beautiful Cabinet Secretary handles global and domestic affairs with verve, aplomb and humor. Enemies attack her daily. She always wins!

Koshcat said...

Multiple characters sleep through the whole movie.

Koshcat said...

Hero destroys kitchen before going to Wyoming to be abducted by aliens.

Koshcat said...

This one inspired by Andrew:

Middle class couple goes swinging while son dies.

Koshcat said...

Two brothers go fishing a lot until one of them self-destructs.

Koshcat said...

Cyborg spends eternity searching for love of his mother who abandoned him.

Koshcat said...

Boy tries to make Christmas wish come true only to have it backfire.

BevfromNYC said...

Patriot - That's "Cillary Hinton" a new musical TV show that I am writing right now. How did you know? However you left out the zombies.

Disclaimer: All characters and situations are purely fictional and do not exist in real life anywhere or at any time.

Koshcat said...

Father violently punishes son for not joining him in his quest of power.

AndrewPrice said...

Koshcat, I got Close Encounters out of that. Then I'm lost.

Glad to hear I inspire swinging. LOL!

Koshcat said...

Inception

Close Encounters

The Ice Storm

River Runs Through It

AI

Christmas Story

Empire Strikes Back

Maybe they weren't as good as I thought. :(

BevfromNYC said...

Koshcat - they were great! But for me, if it isn't "Gome With The Wind" related, I am lost. My film knowledge is kinda' limited. :-)

Koshcat said...

There are multiple possibilities with GWTW:

How to rape a southern Belle and make her want you.

Love, sex and war in the deep south.

Heroine wants one man but settles for another and loses both but gets the house.

Irritating woman marries obnoxious playboy after nice guy picks nice girl.

AndrewPrice said...

Koshcat, They were good! I just haven't seen The Ice Storm and I'm not sure I remember anything from A River Runs Through It.


In terms of Gone With The Wind, how about the liberal take on it...

"White Republican racists try to make slavery sound appealing."

Of course, GWTW shouldn't take that too seriously. Here's the liberal take on Ghostbusters and Minions...

"White Republican racists try to make slavery of ghosts sound appealing."

"White Republican racists try to make slavery of yellow creatures sound appealing."

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - A River Runs Through It is about the many dangers and pit-falls of fly-fishing.

Rustbelt said...

A man is tortured by devil worshipers after he barges into their chapel and demands free room and board.

Aiming to restore happiness at home, aliens enslave a noted toymaker and force him to entertain kids.

Military tries to destroy obviously dangerous giant reptile. Said reptile uses kids as human shield.

Spaceship crashes. Monster attacks never seen. Scientists and cops waste time doing...whatever.

Father, daughter, and boyfriend disrupt caveman's tranquil life. Then kill him when he complains.

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