Be Happy

More of a comment than an article today. I am super proud of my kids. They are amazing little human beings. :) My youngest is the best people person I've ever met in my life, and that's not the dad talking. She is just amazing with people. The oldest is more of an introvert. What amazes me with her though is something I've only ever found with maybe a handful of people in my life: she's always truly looking to better herself.

I know that everyone likes to talk about self-improvement, but let's be honest. For 99% of humanity that's just talk. Few will actually try to improve themselves. Heck, most are so not-self-aware that they don't even realize they have flaws. A few are such assholes that they are proud of their flaws. And of those who do recognize their flaws, many will tell themselves they can't be fixed and others will pretend they can't fix them. They will buy self-help books (huge industry) and pay people to tell them what they already know, but they won't change. Oh they'll try any number of long-shot fixes, but they aren't willing to take the hard steps it takes to make real change. They just keep failing and looking for the next quick fix.

And then there are the few who do change. My daughter has made changes most people would say are impossible. My dad quit smoking when we were young. He also went to college at night to improve himself. I'm so proud of that.

Change is one of the hardest things you can do. You need to start by being honest with yourself. You really need to look at who and what you are without excuse and without sugar coating. You're fat because you eat too much, not because of some conspiracy or rare medical condition. People don't like you because you're an asshole. You don't have a good job because you're lazy. You're dumb because you refuse to take the time to think and to learn. You're not interesting because your only interests are staring at Pinterest. That's hard to accept.

Then you need to decide to make a real change. There are no short cuts either. And more importantly, it takes a lot of mental work. You can do that, you just need to be willing to. Leo Tolstoy said, "If you wish to be happy, be." That's amazing advice. It's probably the most important thing anyone can ever tell you in your life. Why? For the same reason it's also impossible for most people to understand. If you want to be happy, then stop making yourself unhappy. That's all it takes... and there's no other way.

Stop bitching about everything and accept that the world isn't perfect. So what if the grocery clerk is slow, it happens? So what if your boss is an ass, do you want to let that ruin your life? Stop reveling in schadenfreude, sarcasm and cynicism. You can't be happy reveling in bad things. Spite is not success. Spite is poison. Stop coveting crap you haven't earned too. If you want something, earn it. That's the only way you'll ever get it. It's the only way you deserve it... all the rest is whining. And most importantly, start finding the joy in things you ignore today. Sunsets are beautiful. Silence is serene. To be or not to be is brilliant. Dogs are a miracle. People all around you are amazing, talk to them... listen to them. Find the joy in the things the find joyful. Seeing people in love is beautiful. Life is amazing!!!

Be happy.