Deranged Fun! ;-)

Sometimes I wonder what it was like to have Bush Derangement Syndrome: angry liberals foaming at the mouth, spewing hate every time they heard Bush’s name, blaming every one of their own failures on Dick Cheney, who apparently hid under a lot of beds in the past ten years. Ah, blame, is there no personal failure you cannot soothe?! Let’s try on a little Obama Derangement Syndrome for fun today, just to see how it feels. How do we do that you ask? Let’s start with this innocuous story. . .

On Monday, the crazed baboons that make up the Iranian government accused the United States and Britain of directly backing a suicide bomber who killed six of Iran’s Revolutionary Guards. Oh, stop snickering. You and I know Obama’s a pansy, but the Iranians don’t, so don’t spoil it for them. Besides, this is the type of story liberals used to run with. So put on your running shoes and keep up!

The Iranian “media” said (via note strapped to a goat that reached an AP reporter) that the Sunni Muslim insurgent group Jundollah (not to be confused with Bobby Jindahl) claimed responsibility for a suicide bomber who set off a bomb in the Sistan-Baluchestan province, killing 42 people including six senior commanders of the IRG. Said guard commander-in-chief Mohammad Ali “the Bumblebee” Jafari, Iran has been presented with documents proving “direct ties” between Jundollah and the United States and Britain, possibly including the IRG’s finding a McDonalds Royale With Cheese wrapper in the debris.

Fair enough. No big deal right? WRONG! Clearly, Obama is waging an illegal war against Iran! How do we know? Because Bumblebee said so dammit! What motive could he possibly have to lie? None! Nothing! Nada! Zip! The Iranians are blameless holy creatures who have suffered too long under the oppressive policies of Obama and his secret corporate friends.

What? Why are you shaking your head. Oh, you don’t think Obama has a motive? I’ll tell you his motive. He hates Arabs. Yep, and children. Granted, no children were killed, but we know he hates children and he clearly was hoping children would die in this explosion. *sniff* I feel so used as an American citizen that my government. . . no, not my government, THE illegal Obama government would try to kill Arab children in Iran.

What do you mean Iranians aren’t Arabs? Whose side are you on? You must work for the Obama administration! Hater. Let’s look it up on the internet, I’m sure there’s some trustworthy blog that will confirm my opinions, and if not I’ll make one. . . fine, I’ll look it up.

WhatareIranians.com says. . . Persians. Oh, but they’re part of the system. What does wikipedia say. . . nutjobs. Outrageous! Oh wait, there it is. . .

As I said, Obama hates Persians. . . and children. . . and children of Persians. . . and polar bear genitalia, but that’s a different issue. Clearly he wants to destabilize (more) Iran so that his sneaky friends can impose a world government on Iran and take away the rights they enjoy right now, which are SOOOOOO much more rights than anything we have in this country. They have freedom of speech and freedom from hurtful speech, freedom from most religions, freedom to save the environment and freedom to be free, freedoms we just don’t have here under hateful Democratic administrations!

Where is Hugo Chavez in this? Your Persian brothers are dying Hugo! Where is Frank Murtha to accuse American soldiers of war crimes? Where is Nancy Pelosi to call for hearings? Where is Code Pink to disrupt bake sales? Where is Jimmy Carter to assure us that he knows our government really did this?

You know what? I can’t do this anymore. Sure, I can fake it. But I don’t feel it. We all know that Obama’s no warrior. He’s an indecisive idiot. He probably doesn’t even know where Iran is. There’s no way he has an Iran policy. . . probably just wants to “talk” to them. Yeah, let me know how that works out for ya bud.

I guess you really have to be nuts to suffer from a derangement syndrome.