Thursday, November 14, 2013

Fun With Obamacare: Buy It Because...

It looks like the rollout of Obamacare is not going as well as expected despite the fact that the website(s) are really "glitchy" and there is no useful information available. Well, and those tens of millions of people who are losing their insurance...HEY, Obama apologized for that and is "looking into it". We won't mention the barely vetted "navigators". I mean really, how hard can it be to force 350,000,000 people to buy something that they don't really know what they are buying and how much they will be paying for it? I feel bad for Obama. He didn't know... he... did... not... know!

Obama needs our help. We can sell this monstrosity! Yes... We... Can! Let's sell Obamacare. It's the least we can do, right? We didn't want it and we fought against it. We warned them repeatedly of all the problems and pitfalls to come. They didn't want to listen and now they are in trouble...big trouble. I know what you are thinking. Why should we help? Well, we are human beings and they obviously don't know how to sell something that they can't really explain coherently and can't really define how much it will cost. But most importantly, maybe we can score one of those $100million navigator "grants"!

For inspiration, here is what they've come up with in Colorado [It's okay, no tax dollars were used in the making of these ads.] They could be more offensive, but I am not sure how. I'm guessing that there was way too much "going to Denver"ing going on while writing these ad, but that's okay. And the good news is that the Colorado exchange is one of the most "successful"! Now, I know what your thinking (again) - They are only selling "about a thousand plans a week" in private insurance policies, BUT they have signed up almost ten times that to Medicaid! Amazon.com better look out.

Okay... so here is what I want you to do. It is obvious what they need is really catchy slogan. And I know, if we put our collective Commentarama-brains together, we can come up with the perfect slogan that can turn this puppy around! Yes... We... Can! We... Are... Who... They... Have... Been... Waiting... For!!! So, do your best. But if you can't do your best, just show up... I promise there's a ribbon in it for everyone... really, I promise that if you like your ribbon, you can keep your ribbon... no one will take that ribbon away from you... period. All you have to do is fill in the blank... it's that simple... just fill in that blank.

Buy It Because ________________________!

{{{{Remember...there's a free ribbon at the end! Ribbon!}}}

41 comments:

AndrewPrice said...

OT: This is off topic, but in what we should be calling “Operation Save Obama From His Problems,” a group of ten House Republicans, led by Pete Olsen of Texas, are introducing impeachment articles against Eric Holder. Nice work, boys! I’m sure Obama will reward you nicely.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Huh. Interesting message. I guess the idea is: "Buy it because young Colorado woman are drunken tramps."

You know, that's probably true in Boulder. But I don't think it applies to the rest of the state.

Kelly said...

Buy It Because We Said So!!

Kelly said...

Buy It Or I'll Pass Something Worse!!

Patriot said...

Buy It....... Because

Backthrow said...

"Buy It... Otherwise We'll Shoot This Dog."

(Okay, I stole this from National Lampoon, but who cares?)

BevfromNYC said...

Just Do It...Or Else!

TJ said...

"Buy It because we won and we know what's best for you!"

BevfromNYC said...

Backthrow - That's okay. Colorado stole their campaign from "Got Milk?" I am appalled at the lack of proper grammar in these ads too. Oh, not OUR slogans...the Colorado ads.

BevfromNYC said...

Buy It Because You Can...Later On When We Get the Website Fixed Maybe November 30, But We're Not Counting On It!

BevfromNYC said...

Kelly - "Buy It Or I'll Pass Something Worse!! "

That almost makes ME want to buy in!

BevfromNYC said...

"Buy It....... Because "

Patriot - I believe that is what the ACA's original selling slogan was...no reason to buy other than just because it's there..

Individualist said...

Buy it Because Bev will give us all Ribbons

Individualist said...

You know looking at these adds I get the vibe of the creepy 40 something who wears clothes too young and suggestive for their own good who wants to hang out with their kids friends and smoke pot with them.

tryanmax said...

Wow! These are like the exact opposite of any insurance ad I've ever seen. Instead of appealing to a sense of personal responsibility by saying, "Protect yourself from mayhem like me" these all say "Buy it because you're an irresponsible f***wit with no impulse control and no off switch."

EricP said...

Buy it because ... you know damn well it at least gives you the warm and fuzzy feeling you made the choice before the IRS forcibly takes the money from you anyway. Just kidding, here's your short answer, Trotsky Shotskis: Buy it because Chicago-style politics feels good ... for us.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, That is the target audience.

BevfromNYC said...

OT (kinda') - Obama is going to make an announcement later today that he will generously allow those who have lost their insurance to keep them for one more year...

The reason I know this is that I am psychic..no...it that dang blasted ubiquitous "WH official" who always speaks on condition of anonymity because they do not have the authority to speak publicly ahead of a formal announcement". I wonder if it's the same "official" every time or if each member of the WH staff has to submit their names on a official ping pong ball to be pulled out of a hopper a la Bingo. Maybe it's a giant dart board...

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Maybe that's an official position?

Personally, I think they should let people keep their insurance until Nov 1, 2014.

T-Rav said...

Not now. This effectively kicks the can of dropped coverage down the road until after 2014. Of course, there's still the insurance "death spiral" and myriad other problems to deal with, but hey. Whatever takes the political heat off the Democrats.

T-Rav said...

And oh, this is just schadenfreudetastic. Buy your popcorn in bulk, folks.

AndrewPrice said...

As an aside, and in all seriousness, the Republicans need a strategy to handle what will eventually be the Democratic proposal, which will be to pass a bill letting people keep their insurance until January 2017. They will hope that Hillary can then run on the issue of fixing Obamacare.

What the Republicans need to do is to say that (1) they won't agree to any time limit on letting people keep those policies because that just delays the problem, and (2) they won't discriminate between those who have policies and those who don't, so the insurers must be allowed to continue to enroll anyone who wants to into those existing plans.

In effect, that would kill the Obamacare insurance mandates, so the Democrats will never agree. That lets the Republicans effectively stand in the way of fixing the problem while sounding like they are being the more fair and constructive about solving it.

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, :D Love it!

AndrewPrice said...

OT: For those of you who are into apocalyptic fiction, there is a guy at Amazon named Nick Cole who wrote a book (self-published originally) that I thought was bizarrely compelling. He's obviously a conservative as you see reading the book, and I think the book is well worth the read. It's FREE today on Kindle. HERE

BevfromNYC said...

Speaking of schadenfreudetastic - This is a great article in National Review by Jonah Goldberg...Obamacare Schadenfreudarama

T-Rav said...

Bev, I read that this morning, and it was awesome. At the same time, I couldn't believe some of those quotes from way back. "Every place is Barack Obama country once Barack Obama's been there." Really? Who talks like that? Grrrrr....

But to stay on the funny side, and since we're into link mode, here is probably the greatest Downfall parody video that will ever exist.

Hitler loses his health insurance

Tennessee Jed said...

Awe hell baby, buy it cuz even though wearing a condom is like showering in a raincoat, we gotta save Barrac's ass cuz he is a transformational president!" I don't know, maybe that is too long to be effective.

Tennessee Jed said...

Yeah, I loved that article, Bev

BevfromNYC said...

T-Rav - that is hysterical! You KNOW that must be what Obama looked like, foaming mouth and all, when he realized that he was going to be eaten alive.

Btw, if you haven't seen that Hitler movie for real, it is very good.

T-Rav said...

Bev, I have not seen it, but I have heard some very good things about it.

Seriously though, I do wonder what Obama's been acting like behind the scenes. I've heard that he can be a real hard-handed jerk to the underlings who displease him; which is probably why so many people make it their primary objective not to displease him. Despite the spectacle of the "leader" of the "free world" humiliating himself like that, I'd truly love to see Obama have a total meltdown like that during a press conference.

BevfromNYC said...

10J - Yours is probably is too long. Just remember that most people can't hold their attention for more than 5 words at a time. But then, Obama uses "subtext", so why can't we? You know, when he said that we could keep our insurance...period, his unspoken subtext was "unless you can't, but I won't tell you that now". As long as YOU know what you mean, then there is no need to make it too long.

But I will give you a ribbon anyway because you DID show up as per the rules!

Individualist said...

"It was, in the parlance of liberalism, a “false choice” to assert that Obamacare couldn’t be a floor wax and a dessert topping."

Bev from that Shendenfreadarama(sp) article this is an inside joke for people who watched SNL. There is a parody commercial where Victoria Jackson and Someone are arguing that New "Shimmer" is a Floor wax and the other is saying it is a Desert Topping.

Akroid busts in with "Relax you too new Shimmer is a Floor Wax and a Desert Topping".

Just had to put that out their.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, NYC needs this guy for its mayor. Seriously. The only thing missing so far is the women being held prisoner in his basement, and I'm sure that's still coming! Toronto

BevfromNYC said...

Ford, Weiner, Spitzer, and that guy in San Diego should form a support group or at least a rock band. Maybe they can invite Berlusconi to sit in and jam once he gets out of prison...hey, and we KNOW Clinton plays the sax!

Commander Max said...

Buy it because your an idiot! (You voted for us, so you must be an idiot).

tryanmax said...

Andrew, sadly, in NYC a Democrat mayor could do twice as much and still maintain a positive approval rating.

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - That is not necessarily true. David Dinkins lasted one very tumultuous term. He was ousted by Giuliana who lost to him the first time. And that ushered in 20 years of Republicans and Republican-lite Mayors. For all of Bloomberg's other liberal leanings, he was fiscal conservative.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I see NYC purely as entertainment. So from my perspective, I'm hoping for the craziest of the crazy.

BevfromNYC said...

Well, be prepared to be very entertained! LOL! All the fun starts at 12:00am 1/1/2014. Happy New Year...

tryanmax said...

I'm not sure if this falls under schadenfreude or frustration, but it's kinda nice to see them spinning so hard over at Slate [headline: "It’s Good That You Can’t Keep Your Insurance Plan"] even if it also makes me want to beat their collective faces to pulp. I won't link because they don't deserve it. The headline says it all anyway.

BevfromNYC said...

Tryanmax - I am lovin' that Nancy and Steny are remaining defiant to the end. They STILL won't admit that they were wrong. It is We the Unwashed Masses who just didn't read the subtext going on in their heads. I think it's because they didn't actually read the legislation that they wrote so they didn't realize that their subtext wasn't actually written between the lines for us to read it. Whaddya' think?

Oh, and Biden in a fit of really, really poor timing is faulting the Republicans for not pushing Immigration reform. Boehner has "broken" the system. Huh, Really? Here's a thought, Joe, so you'll have at least one rolling around in your head - Let's fix one major screw up by the Democrats at a time. When we get that done, THEN we can move on.

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