Saturday, May 30, 2009

Up Yours Pravda

Ladies and gentlemen, we’ve been served. That’s right, Pravda got all up in our faces and stuff and just slapped us around like some cheap Czechoslovakian-era whore. Surely we don’t deserve this, right? Pravda (not be confused with Prada) means “truth” in Russian. Could it be that they speaking truth to us for the first time their miserable history? Heck no! Let’s tear this sucker apart!

Thus spoke Pravda:

It must be said, that like the breaking of a great dam, the American decent into Marxism is happening with breath taking speed, against the back drop of a passive, hapless sheeple, excuse me dear reader, I meant people.

Bahhh! The friggin’ Ruskies are going to call us out for flirting with Marxism? That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever. . . well. . . ok, they might be right on that. In fact, I have to reluctantly concede that we probably went beyond flirting. We seem to have taken Marx to Vegas, gotten hitched and handed him the check book. But it wasn’t us, really. . . it was the Kool-Aid goggles.

True, the situation has been well prepared on and off for the past century, especially the past twenty years. . . .

The population was dumbed down through a politicized and substandard education system based on pop culture, rather then the classics. Americans know more about their favorite TV dramas then the drama in DC that directly affects their lives. They care more for their "right" to choke down a McDonalds burger or a BurgerKing burger than for their constitutional rights. Then they turn around and lecture us about our rights and about our "democracy". Pride blind the foolish.

How dare you! Nobody eats at Burger King. You got me on McD’s though, boy is my face red. . . and my butt enlarged. What? There’s more? You’re not done de-pantsing us yet?
The final collapse has come with the election of Barack Obama. His speed in the past three months has been truly impressive. His spending and money printing has been a record setting, not just in America's short history but in the world. If this keeps up for more then another year, and there is no sign that it will not, America at best will resemble the Weimar Republic and at worst Zimbabwe.

I’m not even sure where those places are, but I know when I’m being insulted. And let me tell you. . . oh, who am I kidding, it’s all true. Damn you bright light of truth. But please noble Pravda, aren’t we still better than you capitalist Russian pigs in anything?

These past two weeks have been the most breath taking of all. First came the announcement of a planned redesign of the American Byzantine tax system, by the very thieves who used it to bankroll their thefts, loses and swindles of hundreds of billions of dollars. These make our Russian oligarchs look little more then ordinary street thugs, in comparison. Yes, the Americans have beat our own thieves in the shear volumes. Should we congratulate them?

I’ll take that as a “no.”


LawHawkSF said...

Very funny. Now just remind me one more time--was the article from Pravda or Prada? And as for choice, I ain't eating anything made by that creepy king guy.

StlDan said...

I have this feeling, a vague but omnipresent feeling that there is a master plan unfolding, one that has been in the works for years. I think I see a pattern but not quite yet, ya know like when you look at one of those pictures that at first appear to be just a geometric design but if you squint your eyes and turn your head just right, you think you see something? There are so many things going on at once, too many to have been orchestrated by any one person. So, I know I am paranoid. but? Am I paranoid enough?

JG said...

I saw that article, too. All I could think was, takes one to know one.

SQT said...

You know it's bad when Russia is opening mocking us. At least they don't seem that impressed by The One.

BevfromNYC said...

Yep, it's really bad when we are Marxists to the Russians. And French President Sarkozy pretty much called us weenies a few weeks ago. Weenies from the French!?! (At least they still get to call them French fries. Well, okay, they call them pomme frites, but you know what I mean.)

I think we're all collectively having a really bad acid trip and hopefully we will come out it soon 'cause the colors aren't pretty anymore...

StanH said...

Cool post Andrew! Wow, that could have been a comment/post on BH, and it’s amazing to consider that Pravda is the one speaking “truth,” Do what? To be fair, or silly, if I were stranded on a desert island and I had a choice of the most current issue of Pravda or the New York Times, I’d choose Pravda and I can’t read a word of Russian. They’re both equally useful for getting at the facts. As up is down and left is right our world is in some weird alternative universe. When I read that piece, I was truly ashamed of my government, “Washington,” not my country. The country as a whole still has it’s pride and honor, but a small but vocal group has led this country by way of Washington to disgrace for a hundred years, liberalism. Both sides practice it, ones in a little bigger hurry than the other. Just think every one, “You ain’t seen nothing yet.” I think I need a drink!

AndrewPrice said...

Glad to see that everyone had the same reaction I did. How embarassing is it that the Russians are warning us about the dangers of communism. As the Talking Heads might have said. . . "this is not my beautiful world."

StlDan -- no, you're not being paranoid enough.

Stan, thanks. Oh, and I'd choose Pravda too. How sad is that?

freedom21 said...

Excellent Article!

Like Hawk, no one eats at BK. I've always thought it as unpatriotic to engage a King---but, I have managed to bend my position and will always support the (Dairy)Queen (it's the Brit in me, I suppose)

I've got some family over in Russia and they said that the column was in the print version of the paper too. Is this part of the President's plan to restore America's place in the global commuunity?

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