● What Angers Me About Soccer I: The soccer pimps. Seriously. I get that soccer has found a niche audience in this country. Major League Soccer is self-sustaining and the World Cup games involving the US are drawing about as much interest as the average NFL game. And that doesn’t bother me in the least. America is a big country where everyone is free to choose what they enjoy.
But that’s not enough for the pimps. The pimps are running around telling us that soccer has “conquered” America, that “everyone” is interested now, and that we are now “a soccer nation.” Bullshit.
First, let me point out the obvious: interest in the World Cup does not a soccer nation make. Americans love spectacle, especially when it involves athletic competition at the highest levels. The World Cup is a spectacular contest that involves the best the world has to offer in this sport. That is exactly the type of thing Americans like. That’s why we watch the Olympics. That’s why people who don’t know where Seton Hall or Gonzaga are will watch the NCAA basketball tournament. That is why ratings soar for bigger bowl games, for NFL playoffs, for the Super Bowl, and even things like the triple crown. Yet, no one claims we are a nation of horse racers now.
In fact, I fully expect that once the challenge of the best in the world in the World Cup vanishes, so will the audiences. Few will shift over to MLS, just as few of the 20 million who anxiously watch Seton Hall play Gonzaga in the final four will watch a single game played by either team the next season. Nor will any of those triple crown fans bother watching other horse races. Hence, pointing to the World Cup ratings as evidence that soccer has caught on is delusional. It is only evidence that Americans sort of like the World Cup. And pushing the idea that this somehow implies broad acceptance of soccer angers me because that is obviously a false claim and it's meant to trick people's herd instincts. Indeed, ironically, I could respect these people for their achievement if they were honest about it: we’ve made great strides and have gone from an extinct sport to being on a level with basketball and hockey. But that's not what they are doing. Instead, they are engaged in cynical herd-mentality marketing, and I despise that.
● What Angers Me About Soccer II: The other problem with the soccer pimps is that they demonstrate a strong disdain for America and Americans. They go out of their way to describe the game in ways that look down on other American sports. They act like the rest of the world is morally superior somehow for playing soccer. And they keep trying to replace American words with foreign words. The field is “the pitch.” A tie is “a level.” And so on. This has the feel of demanding not only that we embrace the game, but that we change our ways to do it. That’s a problem. You will never win me over by insulting me.
● American Exceptionalism Again!: Finally, there was something that caught my eye the other day which was truly hilarious. It turns out that most fans have a fall back favorite team in the tournament. Interestingly, the vast majority of fans have apparently chosen the Americans. Why? Well, as one Brit explained it, “The Americans do it right, both their fans and their team.” Essentially, Americans have gone to Brazil to have fun and enjoy the tournament, just as we do with other athletic competitions. This isn’t true of other fans. Other fans have gone to spew hate on ancient enemies. They chant abusive phrases. They cheer things one shouldn’t cheer. They are cynical about their own teams and angry about others.
The Americans aren’t. In fact, it doesn’t even occur to Americans to act that way. So the American fans have quickly gotten the reputation of being the nicest and the happiest fans, and of being the one group everyone can like. Ditto with the team, which doesn’t cheat or bite or take dives. Indeed, as several of the fans interviewed said, “The Americans are the good guys.”
Ha!
This is RICH with irony. This confirms what we’ve always known about Americans. We are different than the rest of the world and people love us for it. Call it American innocence or good natured-ness, what it really is is American exceptionalism, and it fits without our willingness to help sort out other people’s messes, our massive donations to charity, our desire to invent things or create things that will change the world for the better, and our willingness to treat everyone fairly and to give second chances.
So where is the irony? Here: the hipster pimps are pushing soccer on us to change us to make us more like the rest of the world... and yet, once we get there, it turns out that once again, the rest of the world looks to us as examples of how things are supposed to be. So who's changing whom?
Thoughts?
21 comments:
I would add the right-wing fringers who disdain people who like soccer. Because they must all be dirty, stinking immigrants!
"Here: the hipster pimps are pushing soccer on us to change us to make us more like the rest of the world... and yet, once we get there, it turns out that once again, the rest of the world looks to us as examples of how things are supposed to be. So who's changing whom?"
Anytime there is someone who looks down on America, there is going to be a bit of iron in there somehow. :-)
Kit, You mean Ann Coulter. I almost wrote about her vile little article, but decide against it. Who knew that only immigrants like soccer and that "Americans" loving soccer was a sign of moral decay because that means there are so many foreigners here.
"vile little article"
Few better words to describe it.
Also, on the topic of jerk soccer fans. During a soccer game in the Great Moral and Godly Light of the World Russia, the black Brazilian player Roberto Carlos had a banana thrown at him.
Thanks Kit, that is how I saw it. It really was an asinine article that screamed "I hate immigrants!" But she's been doing a lot of that lately.
On the Russians, they've become blatantly racist about Obama too. Did you see the banana photo during the Olympics?
Soccer? Meh, no thanks. It disinterests me at least as much as the soporific slog of football, baseball, basketball, hockey, golf, boxing, skiing, wrestling, car-racing and any other pro sport you'd care to name, apart from curling, which is the peerless pinnacle of pulse-quickening, competitive excitement that never gets old --but you knew that already.
I love curling. I watch that every Olympics. :D
Personally, I have never understood why they don't market soccer and soccer players to women. I mean,men with great legs and incredible "glutes" running around aimlessly chasing a ball and no real scores to worry about!
I think the Ann Colter article on soccer was hilarious. She was trying to explain why North Americans don't like soccer, not anti-immigrant. I read it as tongue-in-cheek, trying to inflame those who like soccer (like myself who has played it as a game since I can remember) or those who think she is anti-immigrant. I don't see her as anti-immigrant, I see her as anti-"illegal" immigrant.
So I chuckle when I read her articles like this, knowing she will tweak those again who can't stand her.
So, will Norte Americanos ever support soccer like our cousins to the south? Not with football, baseball......and curling!
Oh....and I almost forgot.....and women's beach volleyball!! When do we ever watch that except at the Olympics? The action, the strategy, the athleticism.....all serve to make women's beach volleyball the next international sport to "catch on" in this country.
(What?...........It's only watched every 4 years?)
I have nothing against soccer. Heck, I even know a few friends that like it but that's about the extent of it for me.
Personally I find it rather boring though. They need to spice it up with randomly placed stun mines and allow full contact tackling or something.
Know what you mean about the soccer pimps. Talk about annoying.
the pimping of soccer combines some of the elements of capitalism with the worst of the modern media and liberalism. Pimping soccer is, at it's basest form, simple marketing. ESPN, and it's corporate owners have lots of programming needs ("we've got Time to Kill, What a Thrill" to quote The Band.) Of course ESPN kinda sorta tries to pass itself off as a sports "news" purveyor. They try to gain control of as much sport broadcasting as possible. Since it is a huge part of American culture, taking control of sports programming attracts "you know who" on every level. Bashing American culture, particularly anything that might appeal to the old discriminating class is a priority. Let me give another example. Liberal sports journalists bash American jingoism, and yet, as you point out, most other countries are every bit as bad, if not worse. The LPGA went in the tank a few years back. The financial collapse in 2007 helped, BUT the circuit became dominated by South Koreans. Viewership and interest in South Korea went up as much as American viewership went in the tank. The players couldn't speak English so they ignored their pro-am partners (customers of the sponsors, mind you). It is a no brainer, yet Americans are supposed to be the racists for not embracing the South Korean players.
As for the pace of the game, you are quite right, particularly as it applies to television. Baseball was the American pass time. But it is slow paced, and has become ever more slow paced on t.v. to make room for ever more commercials. A game should rarely exceed two hours max. Baseball was a great thing to watch live in a small intimate park. Now, with free agency and ESPN, individual stars and fantasy teams replace fan loyalty to the hometown team. The players hare merely overpaid mercenaries, and the overly long season means almost nothing. The only baseball worth watching is college and small town minor league ball anymore.
I played soccer for a dozen or so seasons when I was a kid. Its a fun sport to play, but boring as heck to watch (haven't watched a single World Cup game). That being said, a lot of popular sports are boring to watch sober (as the Simpsons hilariously pointed out) including but not limited to baseball, golf and NASCAR, so I wouldn't be shocked if soccer steadily increases in popularity. Its not going to cause existing sports fans to drop their poison of choice, but it might make inroads among the young.
I don't see the differing terms as a big deal. The English have funny words for a lot of things to go along with their funny accents (they love it when you tell them that). They think we Americans have an accent and some of our words are funny. Its all a matter of perspective. Nothing to get worked up about.
I agree that some soccer fans are frighteningly violent. When I was in England I once saw a guy cheering a team in a pub get suckerpunched with a roundhouse from behind by a guy who apparently supported the other team.
Americans have their odd drunken riot (mostly college games) but we have nothing like the bitter hatred that exists between different groups of soccer fans. I don't think its tied to the sport, it just reflect people overinvesting in a game. The only place you really see that level of emotion involvement in the US is in little league, where parents living vicariously through their kids tend to go nuts on referees and coaches.
>>A game should rarely exceed two hours max>>
Dang, must really bug you how TV's meddling has dragged the weekly NFL games to 3+ hours instead of the decades-old 3 hour standard. Even the best pitchers' duels rarely bring a game in under 120 minutes, c'mon now.
Now that I've dispensed with the unnecessary mini-baseball bash, great column, AP, especially mentioning the irony with the USA being embraced for not acting all Euro-trash-floppy. Couldn't help but raise an eyebrow when a Russian co-worker told me the rest of the world makes fun of our boys for lying on the ground and crying when they're tackled. I politely asked her if she's either confusing us with the Italians, and/or just jealous most of our guys tend to simply pick ourselves up, maybe get a little overdramatic, and then get back to the business of the game. Her silence spoke volumes. I was in a good mood, despite watching the US blow the opportunity to win in stoppage time, so I didn't bring up how the US women's team have been dominating the global stage for some time now.
I think the soccer pimping goes hand-in-hand with a Democrat being in the White House. I don't mean there is some political/athletic conspiracy going on. Rather, I think the libs in the sports media get all optimistic with a Dem in charge and start thinking all is right with the world. Hence, even slightly increased interest in soccer means we are on the way to becoming a more enlightened nation that is in tune with the world. Conversely, if a Republican were in charge, they'd be pessimistic and, looking at percentages rather than trends, would be decrying Americans as out of touch with the saintly soccer-playing world.
About the jargon, depends who's using it. If it's a Brit saying "pitch" and "level" well, that's what he's used to. If it's an American, then he's pulling some erudite hipster bullship.
About the duration of the game, I keep coming across articles saying that, to maximize productivity, one should change tasks every two hours or so because the human brain isn't designed to maintain focus for much longer. And as a film buff, I can attest that the human bladder is designed for even less. So a three-hour sports event really is straining human attention.
Few thoughts on soccer.
I agree with you that the increase interest around the World Cup is because it is the World Cup. It helps that a US team was participating. I heard an interesting stat this morning that if only 1% of the US viewers yesterday started watching MLS, they would double their viewership. This would be considered a win.
After watching more of it (my son really likes to play and watch), I understand the game better and find it less boring. Many find a sport they don't understand boring. This isn't a criticism. Those who love baseball can really appreciate a 2-1 final score because of the nuances of the game. Much of soccer has to do with setting up scoring chances which take time.
I think the soccer pimps are actually making the problem worse not better. It is ok that other countries on average enjoy soccer more than we do. There are all sorts of niche sports that can occasionally be fun to watch during special events such as Cricket, Rugby, Lacrosse, crosscountry skiing, skiing, etc. I love downhill skiing but rarely watch it in non-Olympic years.
Soccer is popular in third world countries because it is so cheap. Just need a ball and a flat surface. Net and grass are optional. I don't get the flopping; it makes the NBA flopping look amateurish. It drives me crazy and I think it is something most Americans just don't get. Can you imagine a quarterback rolling around like he just ruptured his spleen and then jump back up and run back to the huddle? Dempsy broke his nose with blood spurting everywhere. He still played. Tim Howard has the dubius record of 16 saves yesterday but forgotten in the loss. It is players like these that will slowly increase soccer's image in the US. Not flopping queens like Ronaldo.
Sorry to be absent today, folks. Problems with my leg have kept me away. I will comment soon.
I landed on an interesting article that might help explain why the soccer-haters hate soccer so much. In brief, the author says soccer is structured for the best team to win. There are no upsets, no Cinderella stories, no flukes. I think the author has a point. Americans don't love the best nearly as much as the underdog.
Koshcat, I totally agree. First, there is too much flopping. I'm watching the Germans play the French and it seem that the wind is enough to cause the Germans to fall down and writhe in pain on the ground.
Secondly, I totally agree that the pimps make this worse. The game isn't a bad game and it has a lot of points that it can use to sell itself to Americans. But smugness and "you stupid hicks need to be more like superior Europeans" is not a great selling point. And the more they lie about the popularity, the more resistance they generate because people inherently resist being told false information about the herd's destination.
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