Thursday, October 15, 2015

Worst...Aunt...Ever

Well, Mercury has finally stopped retrograding and all of my electronics are now working again. And just in the knick of time too. New York Daily News reported this morning about a story that should go down in the annals of legal history as one of the stupidest lawsuits ever...

An Upper East Side woman has managed to get herself deemed the "Auntie Christ" when she sued her 8-year old nephew for "negligence and carelessness". You see, he was so excited to see his beloved aunt on his birthday that without thinking, he ran at her and jumped into her arms while shouting "Aunt Jen!! Aunt Jen!! I love you!" and they tumbled down. In the fall, she broke her wrist. This poor woman was so broken and damaged that she can no longer walk up the stairs to her apartment. Even worse, she couldn't even hold her hors d’oeuvres plate at a recent party.

In her lawsuit in which her now 12-year old nephew was the only named defendant, she claimed that "[t]he injuries, losses and harms to the plaintiff were caused by the negligence and carelessness of the minor defendant in that a reasonable eight year old under those circumstances would know or should have known that a forceful greeting such as the one delivered by the defendant to the plaintiff could cause the harms and losses suffered by the plaintiff". Seriously, she sued a child for not being reasonable.

Fortunately, the jury who heard her case found her claims preposterous and decided against her. She will not be taking home that $127K and more than likely won't be getting any invitations for Thanksgiving either.

In the words of the great humor columnist Cindy Adam, "Only in New York, kids, only in New York".

The floor is now open...

Correction: In a comment earlier today, I mistakenly referred to pandas as rodents. In fact, pandas are bears. I am truly sorry for spreading this scurrilous lie.

19 comments:

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, I don't even know what to say about this woman except, what a fricken turd! I hope no one ever lets her forget this.

AndrewPrice said...

P.S. I'm glad you've come clean on the panda thing. Those rats have no sense of humor! And they have powerful lawyers.

LL said...

Aunt Jen is progressive.

LL said...

P. S. you can bet that SHE is not a global warming denier.

Kit said...

I got nothing.

tryanmax said...

I dunno. I think the boy has an available counter-suit, in that no reasonable person (or at least Manhattanite) would attend an 8-year-old's birthday party, even as an aunt.

tryanmax said...

Editor's note: That is, at least, this lifelong Midwesterner's impression of Manhattanites

BevfromNYC said...

Tryanmax - Don't ask me why, but adult attendance is mandatory at all childrens' birthday parties in the Northeast. And when I say "all" that is from birth to such a time as the child no longer wants adults at their birthday parties.

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - in the follow up news interview in today's paper, she said she only did it for the insurance money. Her insurance wasn't going to pay enough for pain and suffering. She loves her nephew dearly and he loves her...yeah, nothing says love like naming your relative in a lawsuit. Oh, yeah, this poor kid lost his mother last year.

BevfromNYC said...

LL - Who knows what this woman is. But most likely she is a liberal...most people here are.

Critch said...

Every time I hear the expression "upper-east side" I think of a bunch of snots...I may be wrong, I've never been there...

BevfromNYC said...

Critch - Well, kinda' yeah, they can be snotty the closer you get to Central Park. Those are the ones who have a nanny for each child, cooks, and personal assistants and the like. Think Beverly Hills without the swimming pools. Btw, I live on the Upper East Side too, but on the wrong side of tracks...

BevfromNYC said...

Oh, and from what I saw in the online version of the Daily News, this woman lives a block from me...once again, I am in the center of viral media storm...

Critch said...

Well, I guess her nieces and nephews won't bring her alcohol when she's in a nursing home.

tryanmax said...

Hey Critch, Roll Tide! ;-)

BevfromNYC said...

Oh, btw, Critch - There is a Bravo scripted TV show about the ladies of the Upper East Side called "Odd Mom Out"...I haven't seen it, but it probably accurately portrays them. It's based on a novel of the same name.

http://www.bravotv.com/odd-mom-out/about

JG said...

Some of the speculation I read was that this was something of a family attempt to bilk the homeowners insurance company, somehow. Obviously it failed, but if that's the case, the in a humorous turn of irony, she's the now-despised patsy rather than (only) the villain of the story.

If not, well, she won't have to worry about future birthday party invitations.

BevfromNYC said...

JG - That is exactly what I think. The insurance wouldn't pay, so they initiated a lawsuit. And it failed because who uses a child?

BevfromNYC said...

Of course the excuse that she couldn't walk upmstairs because of her wrist injury didn't help at all.

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