Saturday, December 8, 2012

Place Your Bets, Folks!

The following is a factoid I read from a "Facts of The Day" generator on Refdesk.com -
If a person spent $1 every second, that would equal to $1 million dollars in 12 days. At this rate, it would take 32 years to spend $1 billion dollars. It would take 31,000 years to spend $1 trillion dollars.

So, if you replace "person" with "Government", then….um, let’s carry the one trillion and carry the two…WOW, think of how much they would spend every second. Oh, wait, we don't have to imagine it, we are living it.
And, let's imagine if every person gives $1 every second to the Government. Of course, it feels like we do that already, but for the sake of argument, let's just imagine.

Hmmm, let's see...


AAAAAARRRGGGHHHHHH. CANCEL! CANCEL! WHY DOESN’T THAT ESCAPE KEY EVER WORK!!!


THAT amount was so large and coming at such a fast rate that I am not even sure one of those big Supercomputers could calculated it with any REAL accuracy how fast and how much the Government could spend our $1 bills. Maybe we need one of those Hadron Supercollider thingies to it figure out!

However, the bright side is that it is all for "We the People", right? And rest assured that for every second we give them our $1's, the Government will spend 100 times more in that second to make us happy little "We the People"'s. And, according to that great Nobel Laureate in Economics and NYT Pontificator Paul Krugman, that's okay. Because spending 100 times more than we have at 100 times the speed of light has nothing to do with going bankrupt or massive, crippling debt or anything and stuff. And you have to believe him because he won a Nobel Prize...like Al Gore and Yassar Arafat and, oh yeah, Barack Obama. [Yeah, yeah, I know, these guys won Peace prizes and Krugman won a REAL Nobel prize!]

Anyway, we are about to go over yet another fiscal cliff (or not) which may (or may not) mean much. But, the REAL question is what will you wear? Will you pack a picnic lunch? Maybe you should throw in a flashlight and some rope just in case. So, for the sake of argument and something to do this afternoon, place your bets on what will happen and what wacky things can we do post-cliff jump*.

*There will be no prizes since any additional prizes may be construed as "capital gains" and change your tax status. Rest assured that we at Commentarama are always looking out for your tax status.

46 comments:

AndrewPrice said...

Before tryanmax answers... I'm going in style... jumpsuit with tassels (Style, Baby), and I'm packing a towel.

Also, Krugman is a moron. Seriously, do they have a short-bus division for the Nobel Prize?

AndrewPrice said...

Ok, you want predictions.

1. We won't go off the fiscal cliff.
2. The Republicans will be blamed for everything.
3. The economy will slowly tank into a double dip recovery.
4. The government will run out of money to run the "Rabbit Suppression Machine."
5. Rabbits will become sentient when the machine stops.
6. They will crowd the internet and piss everyone off.
7. A war will begin between humans and rabbits.
8. Rabbits will win because we're stupid, and they will bury the Statue of Liberty in the sand.
9. The ghost of Charlton Heston will insult us.

Thank you John Boehner.

tryanmax said...

Oh, Andrew... Fiscal cliff diving in a jumpsuit is so predictable. I'm going over in a 3-piece suit and bowler hat a la anyone from Monty Python. I'll probably be carrying some sort of attache case and will probably do that thing where I walk like I didn't even know a cliff was coming. Then, as I'm falling, I will position myself as though I am sitting in midair and eat a real sandwich (from my attache) off of an imaginary table. I know it sounds stupid, but the Brits will find it hilarious.

Once we are safely over the fiscal cliff, I expect to find myself in a world populated by giant animated cutouts of Queen Victoria and an overwhelming sense of resignation.

BevfromNYC said...

Rabbits???? I never saw that one coming! Yipes, I hate rabbits with their little beady eyes and twitchy little noses. They'll probably make Obama their Overlord because of his ears! AND they will probably make us eat lettuce and go Vegan! NO! This cannot be our fate!

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - Will your jumpsuit be gold lame'?

I will be wearing a pink satin ballgown with high top tennis shoes to match (of course!) and tiara. This is probably one of those occasions where a tiara is warranted, right? I may or may not use the scepter. It depends on what kind of champagne they will be serving...

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, Jumpsuits may be predictable, but it's just one of those things. . . you. . . have. . . to. . . do. :)

The bowler thing will be nice. Britain is in disastrous shape at the moment (triple dip recession), so I'm sure they'll enjoy the company.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, The rabbits were the obvious part to me... it's the rest I'm guessing on. ;) And like you, I will not go quietly into the vegan night.

I think a ballgown and tiara would absolutely be warranted! :)

I'm thinking something fluorescent on the jumpsuit, like a yellow that is so bright it puts the sun to shame!

The ghost of Charlton Heston said...

We finally really did it. You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God! Damn you all to hell!

BevfromNYC said...

Andrew - You could add a golden parachute...I bet there are many who planning to jump with their golden parachutes. Why, I hear that WaPo is doling out their stock dividends early this year to beat the tax raises, so that all may buy their own golden parachutes. Guess who their majority stockholder is...Warren Buffet. Yes, the same man who said "the rich like him should pay more taxes". Oh, the hypocrisy is delicious.

BevfromNYC said...

Hey, anyone want to lay bets on the fiscal cliff being decided on 12/21/12??

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Check out our December 21 post. :D


I have to say I really have come to despise everything about Warren Buffet. The man is a leech. He deals only in regulated industries, he grows rich on the government restricting competition, he's a lying hypocrite, and he's out to hurt American all in the name of his own damn profit. I truly wish him ill.

tryanmax said...

Okay, I'll bite, what did the Orc do now?

AndrewPrice said...

What Bev just said about WashPo... that he's collecting his dividends now to avoid the same tax hikes he advocated for.

tryanmax said...

Okay, that was weird. Somehow until I refreshed my screen I could see Andrew's comment about Buffett, but Bev's comment wasn't showing yet. BUT, the comment about 12/21/12 was showing. Odd.

tryanmax said...

And, yes, the Orc of Omaha is truly despicable.

BevfromNYC said...

Oh, this one is even better.

It appears that a whale has died on Barbra Streisand's private beach (or near it)that just a few years ago she was in litigation to stop scientists from taking picture of the shoreline because it was her private shoreline. Apparently, she and others "own" these private beaches.

Anyway, as this giant rotting corpse is stickin' up the place, it is not able to be moved because there is a dispute as to who is responsible to pay for its removal. Since it is clearly on the beach, the city says it's only responsible up to the waterline and anything beyond that is up to the private beach owners to take care of. I hope it's really smelly...

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, A likely story.

And yes, he is truly a despicable man. And I find it amazing how many people worship him!

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, That is awesome. First, doesn't the left scream BLOODY MURDER about private ownership of beaches? Isn't that a greater affront to mankind than race-based murder?

Secondly, man I hope that thing stays there until it rots away to nothing and that it spreads worms, diseases and God knows what all over her property. Couldn't happen to a bigger piece of sh*t!

tryanmax said...

Well, the first liar doesn't stand a chance, so...

But imagine how I feel, living in his stomping grounds. In the local paper (The Omaha Warren Herald) we are routinely treated to pieces about St. Buffett's appearances at such and other campus to tell the youngsters how to be successful like him. Oddly, he never seems to mention the part about cozying up to politicians and shutting the regulatory door behind you.

T-Rav said...

See, that whole calculation "what if every person gave $1 per second to the government" doesn't work. There's 86,400 seconds in a day, meaning you would have to give $86,400 every day, and that's more than twice the average American's yearly income. So.

As for what wacky things we'll be doing post-cliff jump, I personally will switch from shooting kittens in the face to rounding them up and implanting computer chips to make them my adorable cyborg army, and then using it to rob liberals of everything they have and begin my path to world domination. You know, simple stuff.

tryanmax said...

T-Rav, can the cyber-kittens be wearing bowler hats?

BevfromNYC said...

Let's review - Michigan passed a "right to work" law AND Barbra Streisand has giant smelly rotting whale at her doorstep. How does this get any better?

Okay, it is really sad about the whale, but other than that...karma is good. I honor that whale and may it have a special place in whale heaven.

AndrewPrice said...

I've seen him on CNBC, which regularly fellates him. He's always taking about finding opportunities that other people don't see blah blah blah make American markets work blah blah blah capitalist system is the greatest in the world....

Just once, I'd like to see one of the hosts take his *&^% out of their mouth and ask, "Master, almost all of your investments are in heavily regulated fields. It seems you only buy companies that are propped up by the government and you use other people's money to do it. The government insures all your risks. And then you use your connections to jack up your profits. Aren't you the classic definition of a crony?"

BevfromNYC said...

Hey, T-Rav, maybe you can add Andrew's rabbits to your cyber-army? I hear they look really cute in tophats and bowties.

rlaWTX said...

bunnies & kitties, oh my!!
I'm pretty sure that the roadrunners will be in charge. They're the only ones who seem to NOT go over the cliff...

Viva Chaparrals!!!!

BevfromNYC said...

rlaWTX - That is true and you make a great point! So, we can all agree that the roadrunners should be in charge. LOL!

BevfromNYC said...

And since roadrunners are clearly NOT vegan or vegetarian, I am good with that.

T-Rav said...

tryanmax, I'm kinda partial to fedoras, but I'll see what I can do.

Bev, granted, I'm no expert in zoology, but based on an incident in my yard when I was a teenager, I have reason to believe cats and bunnies don't get along that well.

Jen said...

T-Rav, I agree with you on the cats and rabbits. I know cats just love rabbits, but not in the friendly sort of way.

I once saw a cat dragging a rabbit that was every bit as big as he was.

tryanmax said...

For the record, I too love rabbits. They're delicious.

AndrewPrice said...

I agree with rlaWTX, clearly, we need to become a roadrunner society.

BevfromNYC said...

So, we can use the roadrunners to distract the bunnies and the kitties from hating each other. Isn't this how it works in the Middle East? Distract two warring factions with a third warring faction?? We can distract the roadrunners with lizards. They like lizards...well, they like to eat them.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, Yeah, but the truth really is that there is a Roadrunnerist Banking Conspiracy to rule the world.

BevfromNYC said...

Ah, yes, the Protocol of the Elders of Zion National Park! I've heard of it...

AndrewPrice said...

That's them! LOL!

Nicely played, Bev... nicely played.

BevfromNYC said...

What can I say...you set me up for it. ;-)

AndrewPrice said...

Well, it was definitely a home run. :)

T-Rav said...

Jen, there are few things in this world that can instantly crush that "childhood innocence." Seeing the cat you once dubbed "Mama Kitty" bite into a rabbit over and over again until it dies is definitely one of them.

T-Rav said...

Andrew and Bev.... (shakes head in disappointment)

AndrewPrice said...

T-Rav, Aww. We were just having fun?!

Individualist said...

Bev

Don't worry about the Rabbits they are notorious for taking that mistaken left turn at Albuquerque

Individualist said...

As to the Fiscal Cliff we don't need to worry because it overlooks a bottomless pit.

BevfromNYC said...

Indi - Isn't that "Albaquoicki"?

rlaWTX said...

excellent follow-ups, Bev. well done!

BevfromNYC said...

Thanks, rlaWTX! Sometimes those follow-ups just write themselves...

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