What happened last night has happened before.
2008
● Hillary Clinton: //tears couch cushion apart with her teeth Ahhhhhh!! Who is this uppity young negro? I’ve never heard of him? Where the hell did he come from?!
● Bill Clinton: He’s from Chicago.
● Hillary Clinton: Shut up, Bill! Nobody asked you. This unknown bastard has destroyed my campaign. I’m supposed to be inevitable. I’m the next in line! I’m the God damn queen of the universe! This is the year of the f***ing woman and I’m the only woman in the damn race! How can this black bastard do this to me?!
● Bill Clinton: Honestly, your campaign isn’t that good.
● Hillary Clinton: I said shut the hell up, Bill! Nobody asked you!
● Bill Clinton: Fine, I’m gonna go sleep with your interns.
● Hillary Clinton: Yeah, you do that you syphilis colony. Humma?! Get in here!
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President’?
● Hillary Clinton: We need to destroy this Barry Obama creature.
● Humma: Destroy?
● Hillary Clinton: He mocks me! He mocks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him ‘round the states of America and ‘round the electoral Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I let him defeat me. To the last, I will grapple with thee, Barack... from Hell’s heart I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
● Humma: //swallows hard
● Hillary Clinton: We need to humanize me again. Last time, I baked f***ing cookies. God damn f***ing cookies. What do we do this time?
● Humma: You could kiss a puppy.
● Hillary Clinton: Kill a puppy? What’s a puppy? Oh never mind. I know what I’ll do. I want you to fire all my disloyal staffers. Go through the office and cull the ones who don’t support us.
● Humma: How do I know who they are?
● Hillary Clinton: //looks out window with evil eye Peer into their souls like I do. They’re the ones who don’t grovel enough. pauses I will win this Humma. No black man is going to stand in my way. I’m inevitable.
2016
● Hillary Clinton: //tears metal desk apart with her bare hands Ahhhhhh!! Who is this uppity old fart? I’ve never heard of him? Where the hell did he come from?!
● Bill Clinton: He’s from Vermont.
● Hillary Clinton: Shut up, Bill! Nobody asked you. This unknown bastard has destroyed my campaign. I’m supposed to be inevitable. I’m the next in line! I’m the God damn queen of the universe! This is the year of the f***ing woman again and I’m the only woman in the damn race! How can this old bastard do this to me?!
● Bill Clinton: Honestly, your campaign isn’t that good.
● Hillary Clinton: I said shut the hell up, Bill! Nobody asked you!
● Bill Clinton: Fine, I’m gonna go sleep with your interns.
● Hillary Clinton: Yeah, you do that you disease breeder. Humma?! Get in here!
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President’?
● Hillary Clinton: We need to destroy this Bernie Sanders creature.
● Humma: Destroy?
● Hillary Clinton: He mocks me! He mocks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him ‘round the states of America and ‘round the electoral Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I let him defeat me. To the last, I will grapple with thee, Bernie... from Hell’s heart I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
● Humma: //swallows hard Not again.
● Hillary Clinton: We need to humanize me. Get me a puppy, I’m going to do something human to it.
● Humma: Like what?
● Hillary Clinton: I don’t know... whatever you do to one of those things.
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President.’
● Hillary Clinton: Wait! I have a better idea. Let’s castrate and fire all my disloyal staffers. Go through the office and cull the ones who don’t support us. Peer into their souls, Humma. Make those with the blackest hearts pay for their treachery.
● Humma: You want me to kill the blacks?
● Hillary Clinton: //looks out window with evil eye Do as I say. Avenge me. Fear will keep the campaign in line. Do it now. I must be inevitable. No old man is going to stand in my way.
2008
● Hillary Clinton: //tears couch cushion apart with her teeth Ahhhhhh!! Who is this uppity young negro? I’ve never heard of him? Where the hell did he come from?!
● Bill Clinton: He’s from Chicago.
● Hillary Clinton: Shut up, Bill! Nobody asked you. This unknown bastard has destroyed my campaign. I’m supposed to be inevitable. I’m the next in line! I’m the God damn queen of the universe! This is the year of the f***ing woman and I’m the only woman in the damn race! How can this black bastard do this to me?!
● Bill Clinton: Honestly, your campaign isn’t that good.
● Hillary Clinton: I said shut the hell up, Bill! Nobody asked you!
● Bill Clinton: Fine, I’m gonna go sleep with your interns.
● Hillary Clinton: Yeah, you do that you syphilis colony. Humma?! Get in here!
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President’?
● Hillary Clinton: We need to destroy this Barry Obama creature.
● Humma: Destroy?
● Hillary Clinton: He mocks me! He mocks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him ‘round the states of America and ‘round the electoral Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I let him defeat me. To the last, I will grapple with thee, Barack... from Hell’s heart I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
● Humma: //swallows hard
● Hillary Clinton: We need to humanize me again. Last time, I baked f***ing cookies. God damn f***ing cookies. What do we do this time?
● Humma: You could kiss a puppy.
● Hillary Clinton: Kill a puppy? What’s a puppy? Oh never mind. I know what I’ll do. I want you to fire all my disloyal staffers. Go through the office and cull the ones who don’t support us.
● Humma: How do I know who they are?
● Hillary Clinton: //looks out window with evil eye Peer into their souls like I do. They’re the ones who don’t grovel enough. pauses I will win this Humma. No black man is going to stand in my way. I’m inevitable.
2016
● Hillary Clinton: //tears metal desk apart with her bare hands Ahhhhhh!! Who is this uppity old fart? I’ve never heard of him? Where the hell did he come from?!
● Bill Clinton: He’s from Vermont.
● Hillary Clinton: Shut up, Bill! Nobody asked you. This unknown bastard has destroyed my campaign. I’m supposed to be inevitable. I’m the next in line! I’m the God damn queen of the universe! This is the year of the f***ing woman again and I’m the only woman in the damn race! How can this old bastard do this to me?!
● Bill Clinton: Honestly, your campaign isn’t that good.
● Hillary Clinton: I said shut the hell up, Bill! Nobody asked you!
● Bill Clinton: Fine, I’m gonna go sleep with your interns.
● Hillary Clinton: Yeah, you do that you disease breeder. Humma?! Get in here!
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President’?
● Hillary Clinton: We need to destroy this Bernie Sanders creature.
● Humma: Destroy?
● Hillary Clinton: He mocks me! He mocks me and I shall have him. I’ll chase him ‘round the states of America and ‘round the electoral Maelstrom and ‘round perdition’s flames before I let him defeat me. To the last, I will grapple with thee, Bernie... from Hell’s heart I stab at thee. For hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee!
● Humma: //swallows hard Not again.
● Hillary Clinton: We need to humanize me. Get me a puppy, I’m going to do something human to it.
● Humma: Like what?
● Hillary Clinton: I don’t know... whatever you do to one of those things.
● Humma: Yes, ‘Madame President.’
● Hillary Clinton: Wait! I have a better idea. Let’s castrate and fire all my disloyal staffers. Go through the office and cull the ones who don’t support us. Peer into their souls, Humma. Make those with the blackest hearts pay for their treachery.
● Humma: You want me to kill the blacks?
● Hillary Clinton: //looks out window with evil eye Do as I say. Avenge me. Fear will keep the campaign in line. Do it now. I must be inevitable. No old man is going to stand in my way.
18 comments:
I don't know. I get the sense this campaign has issues.
Nice Moby Dick/Wrath of Khan reference!
Hysterical! And a accirate accounting of her campaign.
The Bitch of Benghazi has more to worry about than Bernie Sanders. But yes, she should start a Dangerfield routine about how she can't get no respect. It might get her a few more votes.
How come "autocorrect" never works in my favor?
Bev, It's a vast spelling conspiracy brought to you by Big Dictionary!
Thanks Kit! It seemed appropriate. Seriously, can you imagine what it must be like living with her right now? She must be insane with hate.
Bill danced rings around Republicans in the 1990s but there is little evidence he still has it. In 2008 his attempts to help Hillary were counterproductive and thus far his attacks on her opponent have been pathetic.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/bill-clinton-accuses-bernie-sanders-supporters-berniebros-of-sexism/
At an event in Milford, New Hampshire, Bill Clinton hardened his rhetoric against Bernie Sanders on several fronts, including an accusation of sexism leveled at supporters of Bernie Sanders for their attacks on Hillary Clinton.
The Nation's Joan Walsh, Bill Clinton said, has been attacked for defending Hillary Clinton, and he talked about a woman blogger who was writing under a pseudonym because "she and other people who have gone online to defend Hillary, to explain why they supported her, have been subject to vicious trolling and attacks that are literally too profane often -- not to mention sexist -- to repeat."
"Big Dictionary"? How many sheckles you need to throw Breitbart.com's direction to use that?
Bill danced rings around Republicans in the 1990s but there is little evidence he still has it.
Bill is a liability to Hillary now. Once Hillary made the grand statement that women who are raped have a right to believed, that opened up a whole new level of attacks from all sides. And we have Trump to thank for that. He truly was brazen enough to make it a huge issue. Now all of the women who were "unbelieved" women who raped/molested/harassed that Hillary threatened or paid off for their silence are going public. He is useless to her.
Carly Fiorina has dropped out. No surprise.
Anthony and Bev, Bill worked well because his opponents were uptight Republicans who are obsessed with policing other people's sex lives... or GW Bush Senior who was impossible for people outside of upper class Northeasterners to like.
That made it easy for him to see smooth and likable and for the media to sell that image.
In 2008, he challenged a likable Democrat. Different world. For one thing, he couldn't just sit back and watch Obama implode. For another, the media didn't back him reflexively as they did against the evil GOP empire.
In 2012, he's got all this rape baggage, plus he's defending the indefensible -- a truly unlikable bitter old crone. And he's doing it against the newest media left-wing jerk off fantasy.
Eric, I'm thinking BIG like Big Business. Not "big" like odd name of failed fringe website.
I bet it's tense in the Clinton house tonight...
And Christie's gone.
Dropping like flies huh? Christie, Fiorina.....who's next? After SC I think : Carson, Rubio, Bush and Kasich will all "suspend" their campaign. Sounds awful lawyerly Andrew! Do the suspend so they can still get money and spend whatever they have left?
What a scam......
Patriot, Yeah. If you "suspend" then you can still accept donations to pay off debts or to build a war chest for future political activities. Otherwise, you have to shut down and start over.
And yes, they still get tons of donations even after the race is over. This is a great time to buy future favors.
Here's an interesting takeaway from NH. Combining all of the Republican votes, Trump is still behind. The more candidates who drop out, the more delegates to override Trump at the Convention.
Also, though Clinton was soundly defeats, she has almost the same amount of delegates as Sanders who is the first Jew/non-Christian espouser to win a primary.
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