With today being Halloween, let’s talk about the election, just not Trump and Clinton. Here are some other things at stake out there in this great nation of ours. May God have mercy on our souls.
● Bambi-killers: Montana, Indiana and Kansas are apparently planning to become the 18th, 19th and 20th states to create a right to hunt in their constitutions. No word on if this would include snipes, unicorns or man.
● Ha ha ha: Washington residents (and illegal Mexicans) will be voting whether or not to tax businesses on the carbon dioxide they release. I think they should do this because other states can use the businesses that flee. Sadly, the left is opposed because the initiative would use the tax revenues to help the people hurt by this and leftists don’t like the idea of helping those they hurt.
● Governor Lesbian: The leftist enclave of Oregon, a state known for witchcraft and the stench of hippies and meth, will be deciding whether to vote in their acting Governor Kate Brown. She’s apparently the first “bisexual” governor. Yawn. In this age of gay marriage and trannie bathroom battles, who cares about some woman who can’t make up her mind if she’s gay or not?
● Gimmick Voting: Maine is trying to end the current system of whoever-gets-the-most-votes-wins and replace it with a ranked system where you rank your candidate and then they work their way through the rankings. I guess it’s too hard to make up your f*ing mind in Maine.
● Lebensraum!: Massholes will be voting to require egg and meat producers to give each animal enough space to stand up, lie down and extend their limbs. This would basically wipe out things like puppy mills and “confined animal feeding operations.”
● Hang ‘em High: California and Nebraska may ban the death penalty. So far 18 states ban it. Oklahoma is trying to make it easier to use.
● Colorado: I told you about the single-payer nonsense in Colorado. We also are voting on a euthanasia measure. If this passes, then I’m opening a suicide booth in downtown Denver.
● White Power: Democrats are trying to replace two black Republicans with white liberals in the name of racial justice.
● That’s Hard: California may require porn stars to start wearing condoms.
● Let’s Kill Some Jobs!: Colorado, Arizona, and Maine will be voting to increase the minimum wage. South Dakota will be voting to lower it for teens. We should create a ballot initiative to lower the minimum wage for whites or males and watch liberals lose their minds trying to simultaneously claim that this is racist/sexist while arguing that low minimum wages violate human rights. snicker snicker
● Millionaire Tax: California is looking to impose a millionaire tax on anyone with an income over $200,000.
● Price Controls: Venezuela, er, California is planning to put a cap on the cost of drugs. Ah yes, that worked so well in East Germany and Venezuela that I can’t possibly see a problem with it.
● How, Kemosabe!: Massholes, Rode Islanders, and Jerseyites will vote to allow new casinos. Such racist pale faces... always taking the red man’s market share!
● Bag Man: Californians will be voting to overturn a ban on plastic bags in grocery stores. Why stop at plastic though? They should ban all containers in grocery stores.
Anything good in your neck of the woods?
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● Bambi-killers: Montana, Indiana and Kansas are apparently planning to become the 18th, 19th and 20th states to create a right to hunt in their constitutions. No word on if this would include snipes, unicorns or man.
● Ha ha ha: Washington residents (and illegal Mexicans) will be voting whether or not to tax businesses on the carbon dioxide they release. I think they should do this because other states can use the businesses that flee. Sadly, the left is opposed because the initiative would use the tax revenues to help the people hurt by this and leftists don’t like the idea of helping those they hurt.
● Governor Lesbian: The leftist enclave of Oregon, a state known for witchcraft and the stench of hippies and meth, will be deciding whether to vote in their acting Governor Kate Brown. She’s apparently the first “bisexual” governor. Yawn. In this age of gay marriage and trannie bathroom battles, who cares about some woman who can’t make up her mind if she’s gay or not?
● Gimmick Voting: Maine is trying to end the current system of whoever-gets-the-most-votes-wins and replace it with a ranked system where you rank your candidate and then they work their way through the rankings. I guess it’s too hard to make up your f*ing mind in Maine.
● Lebensraum!: Massholes will be voting to require egg and meat producers to give each animal enough space to stand up, lie down and extend their limbs. This would basically wipe out things like puppy mills and “confined animal feeding operations.”
● Hang ‘em High: California and Nebraska may ban the death penalty. So far 18 states ban it. Oklahoma is trying to make it easier to use.
● Colorado: I told you about the single-payer nonsense in Colorado. We also are voting on a euthanasia measure. If this passes, then I’m opening a suicide booth in downtown Denver.
● White Power: Democrats are trying to replace two black Republicans with white liberals in the name of racial justice.
● That’s Hard: California may require porn stars to start wearing condoms.
● Let’s Kill Some Jobs!: Colorado, Arizona, and Maine will be voting to increase the minimum wage. South Dakota will be voting to lower it for teens. We should create a ballot initiative to lower the minimum wage for whites or males and watch liberals lose their minds trying to simultaneously claim that this is racist/sexist while arguing that low minimum wages violate human rights. snicker snicker
● Millionaire Tax: California is looking to impose a millionaire tax on anyone with an income over $200,000.
● Price Controls: Venezuela, er, California is planning to put a cap on the cost of drugs. Ah yes, that worked so well in East Germany and Venezuela that I can’t possibly see a problem with it.
● How, Kemosabe!: Massholes, Rode Islanders, and Jerseyites will vote to allow new casinos. Such racist pale faces... always taking the red man’s market share!
● Bag Man: Californians will be voting to overturn a ban on plastic bags in grocery stores. Why stop at plastic though? They should ban all containers in grocery stores.
Anything good in your neck of the woods?