Wednesday, October 4, 2017

Stop The Presses!

Warning!! What follows is a look into liberal minds as they process the newest NFL scandal: Funny-gate. Proceed with caution.

Hold everything! Cam Newton, quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, said that it was "funny" hearing a woman talk about receivers running routes. This is sexism, pure and simple, which is worse than Hitler. And after careful consideration, I have concluded that such words are beyond the pale of human dignity and totally unacceptable in modern civilized society. Hence, anyone who says such things must be castrated and lynched. And if anyone else proposes worse then list me as proposing whatever they say plus a spanking just to show that I will not be bested when it comes to saving women from the deprivations of the occasional insult! Women are strong after all, and need to be protected from such things.

Yep. Castrate and then lynch Cam.

Oh crap. Wait, Cam's black. Hold the lynching. You can't lynch black people. That would be racist. What if we just whipped him like in 12 Years A Slave until... uh. No. Ok. We'll just ban him for life.

Hurray! Cam Newton is banned for life and I've shown my sanctimonious moral superiority. Feel my smug! Feel my smug!! I am an enlightened being, bitches!! No one will protect women from insults more powerfully than me because I know that it's our job to protect those delicate little flowers from insults so they don't cry and quit and whatever. Thank God you have my moral outrage to protect you little honeys.

Anyways, banned for life.

Hmm. On second thought, everyone deserves a second chance -- sometimes many of them. And wouldn't it be racist to ban Cam when white quarterbacks (honkeybacks) have said worse and weren't banned? Sure, I can't name any, but I'm sure it happened, and that sounds like discrimination. Isn't it just like the NFL to discriminate against blacks? What is wrong with you rich white people?

You know what? I think ultimately, the NFL caused this problem. They hire these kids out of black ghettos and then don't stop them from saying the kinds of things kids from black ghettos say -- "nigga" "bitch" and other things that would be hurtful if they were said by whites. And they definitely don't value their bitches. The NFL really needs to do something about that. Roger Goddell needs to start teaching these kids how to act in a civilized world... while respecting their culture of course.

In the meantime, I think we need to write articles condemning the NFL for acting too harshly without acting harshly enough and for causing this problem in the first place because these rightwing, white, Republican billionaires don't like women.

Every liberal sportswriter


Anthony said...

Celeb says stupid things to women. Maybe he will be our next president.

AndrewPrice said...

What I find funny about moments like this is how stupid things like this become free-fire zones for liberals, but they can't say a word about much worse things.

Islamic NFL player murders, rapes and eats nuns while writing Koran verses on the wall in blood... NFL media says: "NFL player has been arrested in connection with an incident that still is not fully understood. Let's not rush to judgment."

Cam Newton says something sexist... NFL media says: "In an unbelievably horrific, outrageous, evil, rotten disgusting act, Cam Newton said something so fundamentally wrong and stupid and evil and contrary to everything human beings believe. Oh my God, I can't believe what he said! No punishment is too great for this!"

AndrewPrice said...

Anthony, LOL! Why not? I'd vote him actually. Apart from this, he seems to be a good guy with a lot of common sense.

Patriot said...

Andrew....I wonder how many “sportswriters” are even left? Most fans get their sports news from TV, internet or sports radio. I can’t remember the last time I read a sports article in a newspaper.

Maybe we’re getting back to reality when a pro athlete in a male sport questions what a female knows about his sport. And why they’re in a locker room after the game. Remember the old question of why aren’t male sportscasters allowed into the LPGA or woman’s tennis locker rooms?

Your ridicule at these jerks is the correct attitude to,take regarding their sanctimony.

P.S. Glad you’re back...... not much has been going on recently on the internet or in the real world anyway.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, my only critique is that the typical liberal sportswriter doesn't need eight paragraphs to contradict himself so many times. He can do it in one. Preferably in less than 50 words. Great job!

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Patriot. It's good to be back. I've still got some healing to do, but things are much better. :)

Yeah, these guys deserve as much ridicule as they can get, especially on issues like this where the media goes out of its way to act sanctimoniously.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, That they do. They can be incredibly contradictory within the same thought bubble. And heaven help them when they have a month to deal with an issue. They spew all kinds of contradictory "principles."

AndrewPrice said...

As an aside, it now turns out that the reporter chick used racial slurs on Twitter five years ago. So she's needed to apologize for that.

Still no word from Newton, which is causing a meltdown in the sports media. He even lost his Dannon yogurt sponsorship, which I doubt he cares about.

It's funny how you can make one barely sexist comment and you lose sponsors within 12 hours, but you can shit on the flag and veterans and push race-baiting BS and the sponsors stick with you.

tryanmax said...

Andrew, I'm going to steal and tweet that last sentence. Forgive me.

Anthony said...

Cam has apologized. He sounds like a guy who stays away from anything which means less money in his pocket. The article below was written before his infamous comment.

According to the Observer, Newton didn’t participate in the protests last week because he said that he felt he hadn’t fully processed the issue, both the protests themselves, and the comments from President Trump last Friday in Alabama. Where he called athletes who protested the anthem “SOB’s” and said he wished their team owners would fire them.

However, it’s far more likely Newton didn’t participate due to money and endorsements, as opposed to not “processing” what was going on around him. Cam Newton is an extremely intelligent quarterback, fully capable of processing any situation. However, looking at the endorsements lost by players this week. In addition to the angry fan reaction that has come against the league, and plummeting ticket sales. Newton, who has several major endorsement deals, likely decided that it made better business sense for him to sit this one out.

AndrewPrice said...

OMG!! Melania Trump wore heels to a disaster zone and now she wore sunglasses at night! What an outrage! She's worse than Hitler! Won't somebody stop her?!!!

This is making the rounds now. Are we really supposed to take these loser seriously? I think not.

AndrewPrice said...

tryanmax, Feel free! :)

AndrewPrice said...

Anthony, (1) As predicted, it didn't work. The critics just switched to "he didn't apologize quickly enough," though some are going the "he's not sincere" route. Nothing will satisfy them because they live off being aggrieved.

(2) I doubt what you've linked to. The reason is that since college, Cam has been under attack for supposedly having a fake personality. Way back when, his father made some comment about wanting money for him to play, and ever since he's been dogged with anonymous attacks about him being disingenuous, wanting money, and presenting a false image just so he can profit.

I've seen no evidence of that though, but the attack just keeps coming. For example, he used to visit kids in the hospital twice a week without telling anyone and once the NFL media found out about it, they immediately said he did it just for publicity. Everything he's done or said has been tossed into that filter. From what I've seen though, he's really a pretty great guy who cares about his fans and teammates and goes out of his way to be a good person.

Anthony said...


*Shrugs* I confess I never paid much attention to Newton so I don’t have a sense of him. I get the impression that the controversy is over. The bleeding away of sponsorships seems to have stopped.

RGallegos said...

Maybe Newton should have been down on one knew when he said it.

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