Monday, June 19, 2017

Liberal Thoughts For A Monday Morning

Here is what liberals are thinking this Monday morning.


Hmm. Ok, let's try that again. Here is what liberals are feeling this Monday morning:

● Why are vans carrying Islamic gentlemen going out of control and allegedly killing people?

● What? That was a white guy? Why are white males killers?!!

Wonder Woman was a success, why am I still a failure?

● Unemployment is down. The economy is up. Syria is going right. Putin seems contained. North Korea has STFU. Illegal immigration is down. Crime is down. What else could go wrong?!!

● It's a good thing black people have white liberals to teach them how not to be savages. If only conservatives weren't such racists, imagine what we could do with black people!

● OMG! That fat lesbian wanted to attend prom naked with a banana sticking out of her girl parts (is that sexist?) with her four year old lover and that evil white male principal said no?!! What an outrage!!!

● Oh look, someone got cancer and didn't kill themselves. They're a hero.

● I think the guy in the car next to me has too much. If he had less, my life would be better.

● OMG! Megyn Kelly let some weirdo asshole share his views on national television? Burn the witch at the stake!!!

● Everyone thinks like me.


LL said...

You have rare and incisive insight as to the internal workings of liberal minds.

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks LL! It's actually not that hard. They spew their "thoughts" all over the place because they're pretty sure everyone shares them.

ArgentGale said...

I'm afraid to ask if the prom and banana story is even partially true... Strange stuff seems to be the norm lately. The very last observation is definitely the most accurate, though!

- Daniel

AndrewPrice said...

Hi Daniel. No, it's not. It's a slight overstatement of all the "OMG, they wouldn't let her go to prom!" stories that are polluting the liberal gossip sites. They seem to have no sense of judgment whatsoever.

Not that they are consistent either though. They will then turn around and scream about the poor dears exposed to the person with the banana shoved up their hoohah and demand to know why the principal didn't stop it.

It's outrage for the sake of outrage... the same way a child is outraged at the word "no."

AndrewPrice said...

Speaking of racism -- among other things -- there's an Old Navy commercial out right now which reminds me of how liberal racism works. These people are driving through an Hispanic neighborhood. We know this because all Hispanics live in colorful neighborhoods that look like an idealized Cuba. When the light turns red, everyone jumps out of their cars and starts dancing Latin dances in the streets.

Now, call me crazy, but I've never actually seen Hispanic neighborhoods burst into song and dance like this in real life... but they always do in commercials. Could I simply be that unaware? Or is this a Magic-Negro trope used by liberals to simplify Hispanics into a pleasant, non-threatening package?

And now that I think of it, I've met a lot of black people, but not one of them has ever offered me "the best Bar-B-Q this side of Memphis." Why not? Have I offended black people or is this the modern liberal version of Song of the South?

Zip-e-dee-doo-da, zip-e-dee-a
Brown people aren't threatening when they're singing away...

And yet liberals think everyone else is racist.

AndrewPrice said...

Oh oh. The Supreme Court struck down the law forbidding offensive trademarks. That means the Washington Redskins' trademarks are still legal. Yet another loss for the Liberal Sportswriter's Complex.

They're turning on Colin Kaepernick too. I'm now seeing angry articles suggesting that "he's not helping himself" in the LSC fight to force the NFL to hire him despite his anti-American crap.


ArgentGale said...

Well, with all the absurdity out there these days you never know! Still, I don't see outrage helping even in legitimate cases and with the way things have been trending I imagine that same sex prom couples really won't have any serious issues in the near future except maybe at private religious schools. Excessive outrage definitely won't help, though, and not to sound too cynical but for all people talk about the magic of prom I doubt many people remember theirs once they get through college and start working.

- Daniel

EPorvaznik said...

Guessing the Cleveland Indians ownership won't tell busybody Commissioner Manfred to pound Supreme Court-colored sand re. Chief Wahoo. After all, despite the stadium always being "The Jake" for me and many others, they do have Progressive Insurance as their key corporate sponsor these days. Either way, wonder how the SCOTUS decision will affect the threatened lawsuit from a Toronto-based tribe hoping to keep Chief Wahoo south of the border.

Anthony said...

Maybe the Washington Bullets can come back.

Critch said...

Memphis, my hometown, is the standard for BBQ, blues, Rock-n-Roll, and garage bands.....just sayin'. OTOH, it also sets the standard for shootings, unwed pregnancy, drug use and corruption...

Anthony said...

The American North Korea recently cut loose has died. My heart goes out to his family. People need to steer clear of that madman's playground.

tryanmax said...

You've probably seen the latest "pregnant man" story. If not, there you go. Someone posted a pic on Twitter with the now-famous catchphrase "This is the future liberals want." To which I replied, and they'd smugly agree.

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