Thursday, November 26, 2009

American Idioms (Revised)

Weekends and holidays are the best times for politicians to release bad news. That makes today the perfect day. And boy do we have a doozy scoop for you! It seems that Team Obama is going to use the cover of this great holiday to announce a new program called The Media Cooperation Program.

How do we know this you ask? Well, Commentarama has a post office box at 1601 Pennsylvania Avenue, in Washington. This means that we get a lot of mail from the White House by mistake -- especially Biden’s credit card bills. We don’t normally open their mail, being good neighbors and all, but the one this morning was hard to resist -- it had “Confidential Official Document Do Not Open Under Penalty Of Law” written all over the envelop. . . that’s practically screaming “open me!” So we did.

And what is The Media Cooperation Program? It turns out that the Obama people and their friends in the media have decided to try a little brainwashing. For weeks now, Team Obama has been paying bloggers to slip “revised” idioms into their blogs in an effort to subconsciously align the public's thinking with Obama’s agenda. How evil!! And now they want to expand this to the mainstream media!

Here are several specific idioms they've already snuck into blogs. Watch for these and others from here on out people! Don’t fall for this!!!

Waste a crisis not, want not.

Patience and Silence are now virtues.

A bird in the hand is worth more now than it was under Bush.

The best things in life are provided by the government.

Don’t judge a book by its ghostwriter.

Honesty is one policy.

If a job’s worth doing, it should be done by union labor.

A borrower be.

Give a man a fish because he may not like fishing.

A snitch in time saves nine union jobs.

Tax on all trades, targeted growth in some.

Terrorism begins at home.

People who live in glass houses should be taxed.

It’s always darkest because of Bush.

We don’t have time to learn to walk.

Biden’s mental prowess runs deep.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, except in Congressional Ethics Committee hearings.

All that glitters could be gold.

You can make a horse drink, but Bush made it impossible to lead it to water.
Creepy huh? Have you run into any of these? Seen any others?


LawHawkSF said...

Andrew: We've got to work on our communications skills. You didn't tell me I wasn't supposed to open the White House mail. Should I report myself to the White House snitch line? Naw. I'll just blame you or the Boiler Room Elves.

Very funny stuff!

AndrewPrice said...

Yes Lawhawk, you should turn yourself in! LOL!

BevfromNYC said...

Really funny! Just put it through the shredder and no one will ever know. Oops, I've said too much...
You forgot "Money does grows on trees!"

Writer X said...

First imposters are crashing State Dinners, now White House mail is getting lost? Couldn't happen to a nicer administration.

How about:

A penny saved is one less penny for the next Stimulus.

AndrewPrice said...

Bev, What shredder? We would never shred the White Houses mail. . . or Biden's credit card bills. ;-)

AndrewPrice said...

Writer X, How funny is that about the gate crashers! We should try that as a group. "We're from Commentarama, Joe Biden invited us. . ."

Anonymous said...

Funny stuff! Nice work! Someone should hire you to write this stuff for people like SNL.

AndrewPrice said...

Thanks Anon. I'd love to get paid for this! LOL!

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