Buttheads

The headlines are really disturbing today. Lots of, uh, butt stuff.

● Louis Farrakahn is ranting about "Jewish Power" and "anal sex." Seriously. Sounds like somebody went to the wrong bath house.

● Apparently, they now have a saliva test to determine prostate cancer. Really? Yuck. Who the hell is going to perform that test? Tastes like cancer to me! Keep your saliva off my prostate! Maybe that's why Farrakahn is upset?

● A driver with road rage apparently defecated on someone. Or did he? Maybe he was just trying to get a prostate examine?

● Either Canada or Oregon has launch missiles at Washington state. My money is or Oregon. Meth makes you do crazy things.

● The left is ecstatic today that Trump's Korea summit didn't end the Korean issue. They can't take much more success for Trump.

● Rose McGowan is warning us not to let Anthony Bordain's suicide split us apart and she's issued a call for unity. Huh. I didn't know anyone had taken sides. Can't the left do anything without fighting about it?

● Ariana Venti Grande (that's a Starbucks joke) is engaged. I'm sure that will last. Anyways, to let him know what he would be getting into, Ariana just posed without makeup on the cover of some magazine. Here is her picture. That's her on the left and without makeup on the right:

● Diane Feinstein now says she had no idea how immigrant children were treated under Obama. She was in Austria durink ze var too.

● Finally, the NBA seems to be full of nasty little b*tches who gossip and backstab each other. Wow. They've spent the past week all whining about being the best but its so unfair that like nobody notices them because of like stuhhff, "throwing shade" at each other and whining that so and so better shut up, whining about each other's contracts, telling us who shouldn't be allowed to play for whom, and even making rap songs insulting each other. Unbelievable. It's like my youngest daughter's circle of frienemies in fifth grade.